This summer, we're very fortunate to have my Mama and Papa visiting us, and I realize that we sometimes take them for granted. While they're in town, I've decided we need to plan and do more things with them—especially for our boys, so they can really get to know, learn from, and bond with the elder generation while they have the time. Sound familiar?

I also recently learned that, from Mother's Day to Father's Day, we're now recognizing the importance of that family bond with National Family Month. Time is precious, and it's important that, as parents, we help our kids engage with their elders. Kids can benefit from these bonds with their grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and elder neighbors, who are important role models and connections to the past. To celebrate, I put together a list of fun activities for kids and grandparents to share together.

Please check them out, and share your own by posting a comment!

Fun activities kids and seniors can share together:

• MAKING A FAMILY TREE
  As well as being an educational and engaging project for kids and grandparents, creating a family tree helps put connections and bonds in perspective for the entire family. It also will encourage and spark stories your kids—and maybe you!—have never heard before about how certain aunts and uncles fell in love, about family vacations long ago, or about distant relatives you never had the chance to meet. Lacking the creative streak? Check out this great family tree keepsake box from UncommonGoods.com, which does the artistic part for you.

• WRITING LETTERS
  It's no secret in this digital age that letter writing has become a lost art. Teach your child to appreciate "snail mail," storytelling, and good penmanship by becoming a Pen Pal to their grandparents or another older relative. Kids will learn important communication skills, as well as have mementos and stories from family history to someday share with their own children, and the regular communication is sure to lift the spirits of their senior relatives.

• WALKING
  Depending on the age and fitness of your elder relatives, encourage your kids to take a walk in the park or around the neighborhood with their grandparents or great uncle. As well as being great exercise, a walk outdoors will promote conversation and communing with nature that can build bonds and great memories. Kids and their older pals can spot and learn about different wildlife like birds and plants, or just chit-chat about their favorite things.

• GAMES
  Nothing says summer quite like a classic  game like Scrabble or Parcheesi. Board games are a great way to get your kids and their grandparents playing together—although it might be hard to pry them away from their Nintendo Wii. Try a swap: have your dad teach the kids how to play Rummy or chess, and then have the kids teach Grandpa how to play Mario Kart or use the Wii Fit.

• READING
  Everyone remembers the heartfelt scenes in Princess Bride, where Peter Falk plays grandfather to a young Fred Savage and spends a "home sick" day reading his grandson an epic tale. While it might be hard to recreate scenes like this in real life, having your parents read books to your kids that they read to you as a child (or that their parents read to them, even!) is a fantastic way to expose them to family history and create shared memories. Classics like Anne of Green Gables, The Story of Ferdinand, The Hardy Boys, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Heidi are perennial favorites from generation to generation.

• COOKING
  If they're willing and able to safely, encourage your kids and parents to share and cook favorite family recipes. Baking Grandma's apple pie her way or learning the secret ingredients in Grandpa's grilling sauce are memories the whole family will cherish, while creating wonderful continuity of tradition. Take photos and write down the recipes—or, better yet, have your kids and their grandparents write and decorate the recipe card together—and then bind or publish them at a later date into a special cookbook to be passed down through the generations.

• CRAFTS & HOBBIES
  If your parents have a special hobby they enjoy, encourage them to show and teach your kids about it. Knitting, playing the piano, or dancing the Waltz can all be fun ways for kids to bond with their elders and to gain an appreciation for old-fashioned entertainment.

What's your favorite way to have your kids spend time with—and show their love for—the seniors in your lives? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Family members are an obvious choice when you're in a pinch for care: they love your kids or pets and like to spend time with them, or they share the responsibility of caring for your parents and grandparents with you. And, they can be wonderful sources of respite care for the overworked! But there are drawbacks to having a family member provide care, and beware that confrontations and other easily-avoidable situations may arise because of your comfort level with one another. Use these guidelines—similar to those you would use when hiring a stranger—to prevent unnecessary drama.

• Expectations. When hiring a nanny or a babysitter, I typically advise people to type up their key expectations and go over them with any caregiver beforehand. You should go ahead and do that with family members, too, just as if you were hiring an outside caregiver (even though—and sometimes more importantly because—they're your relatives). I would then sit down and walk them through the list and tell them that this is what you go over with any nanny, etc. Setting clear expectations upfront helps to clear up (and stem off) any confusion.

• Core values. Emphasize the key things that are important to you. For example: Education. Your child's education is really critical to you, and is the main reason you don't want them watching TV or playing video games during the week. Or Responsibility. Teaching your kids responsibility is something that you are working on at home, which is why you expect them to pick up their toys. Although these things may seem like small things, they are crucial components to keeping things consistent for your kids. Tell your relatives that, although they may be inclined to use a different method, you would appreciate their help by adhering to your rules. Explaining your overall goals will help your relative(s) understand why you are asking them to do certain things.

• Communication. Talk often! Sit down on a regular basis and discuss how things are going. Don't just meet or talk when things are going wrong. If you talk regularly, then it won't feel like you planned a special sit-down conversation that makes things a bigger deal than they are. Whether your relative is helping you out once a year when you ask, or needs to know how overburdened you are with shared responsibilities so they can offer to help, communication is crucial—especially between family members.

• "Don't sweat the small stuff." There may be small things that irritate you, such as leaving dishes in the sink or not picking up the toys after the kids. Your nanny used to do it, but now that your sister is helping out, the house is a mess when you get home. If these things aren't the most important things to you, then let it go. Remind yourself that the quality of care—that your child is loved, well-fed, entertained, and educated—and maintaining a healthy relationship with your relative should trump any trivial or mundane annoyance you may feel.

• Payment. No one likes discussing the topic of money with a family member. If your relative is comfortable getting paid, then I would offer them an hourly wage at market rate. Find market rates in your area by searching Care.com by your ZIP code and looking at different provider profiles. You can also share this information with your relative to let them know that you came up with the rate based on objective sources. That way it removes anything personal from the conversation.

• Boundaries. Respect your family member's personal time. It's very easy to get too comfortable in the situation and take them for granted: you know that your mom or sister will always forgive you when you arrive 10 minutes late and other "harmless" offenses. But, if you expect your relatives to adhere to your wishes and your rules when caring for your child, pet, or other loved one, then you should do the same by respecting that they may have other engagements, appointments, etc. Keep your word and you'll keep their respect.

• Tough conversations. Sometimes it's better to let time lapse before having an emotional conversation (especially in front of your kids). Sometimes you may have had a bad day and thus are overreacting to a situation, taking it out on your mom or sister. You may want to let it go and wait a day or two. See if it still bothers you after you've cooled off a bit, and then you'll be able to have a more rational, productive sit-down with your family member. Even though it's your mom or sister, think about approaching the conversation as you would a friend: with a respectful tone and approach and with active listening. Seek first to understand than to be understood.

Have a great tip for navigating the waters of having family members serve as caregivers? Share it with the entire Care.com community by posting a comment!

Cheers,

Sheila

I just received a question from a reader about suggestions for gifts for day care providers, but this advice can also apply to other caregivers, as well:

• Electronic Gift Cards
  If you can afford to give them an e-gift card from Amazon or Barnes & Noble, I've done that in the past for day care providers when my boys were younger and find it's always appreciated. I would suggest a $15 value so that it can cover a nice book plus the shipping.

• Magazine Subscriptions
  There are also gift certificates available at Magazines.com. for around $20 for an annual subscription to various magazines. One year, a friend gave me a food magazine subscription that I really enjoyed. Each month when I received it in the mail, all year long, it reminded me of her thoughtfulness.

• Picture Frames
  If you're looking to spend a little less (around $10), you can always check out a discount retail store like TJ Maxx or Marshalls and pick up some nice picture frames. Leave the picture frames blank--care providers, as much as they love people and pets, really don't want prints of yours, but everyone can always use a nice, new picture frame to fill with their own special memories.

Also, if you are looking for that unique gift for your friend, co-worker or loved one, our team here at Care.com came up with "The Gift of Care", which allows you to give someone access to sanity-saving solutions for child care, elder care, pet care, and tutoring--and for just $10!

Cheers,

Sheila

Since those who care for our loved ones have an important role in our lives, we should tip them well to show our appreciation, reward them, and give them an incentive to continue providing the excellent care we want for our children, parents, and pets.

When do we tip?

When two things are provided to me:

• Personalized service. A waiter taking my specific request from a menu, a cab driver taking me to my chosen location, my hair dresser who cuts my hair that addresses my personalized needs, a clown who came over and entertained all the kids at your child’s birthday party, and etc.
• Great service. Service providers spend time to listen to my needs and are focused on me as a customer. It is my way of saying thank you and also giving someone the incentive to deliver great service next time I'm in need of their help and attention.

Who should I tip?

So many people help us throughout the year. Here are some of the caregivers you might want to tip during the holidays: Nanny, babysitter, au pair, day care staff, coaches, tutors, music and dance instructors, dog walkers and groomers, home-care attendants, housekeepers.

• In general, the more professionally credentialed (certification, license, degree in a specialty) someone is, the less they wanted to be treated as a service professional that gets a tip. I'd err on the side of giving a gift during the Holidays or a special occasion rather than a regular "tip" for their services.


• For a sitter that comes over regularly, you may consider tipping them for a job truly well done, but it isn't the norm for them to expect to get a regular "tip" every time they babysit for you.


• If you have a periodic sitter, such as a teenage babysitter or dog walker, you may want to consider tipping them for each job since they only come over occasionally. They will also feel valued and, with the competitive hiring out there today, it is worth being generous to keep quality care for your loved ones.

How much should I tip care givers and how much should I spend on a gift?

• Restaurants and wait staff: It is common in our culture now to tip for personalized service at about 15% of the typical fees you are charged—even 20% for exceptional service. We do this for restaurant wait staff, cab drivers, etc. I'd apply the same % rule for caregivers.


• Hosting a party at a venue: If you are paying a venue to host a party, but there are service providers assisting you, you should tip them 15% of an estimated $10-$12/hour (depending on years of experience of your service providers) and the number of hours they worked. For example, if you have a child's birthday party at a gym and you bring along two babysitters to help you manage the party, do tip those sitters. Check with the venue when you schedule the party—the charge for rental of the venue may include a gratuity for their staff.


• Workplace gift exchanges and showers: For a gift, most companies that plan gift exchanges over the holidays suggest $20 or $25 gifts for your secret co-worker whose name you pulled out of a hat. For a girlfriend's baby shower, a $25 to $50 gift is typically a nice budget for a cute present. For a gift for our caregivers, I like to give something in between the range of $25-$30 since they take special care of my kids and pets and I want them to feel that I took the time to choose something special for them. Also, sometimes a very inexpensive but personal gift, such as a picture frame with my child's photo on it, goes a long way.


• Recommended tips for care givers:
• Nannies and Au Pairs: If they work for you full time, give a tip that reflects 10%-15% of one weeks pay. For example, if you have a full time Nanny or Au Pair that you pay $800 per week, a 15% holiday tip would be $120.
• Regular babysitter: Depending upon how long your sitter has been with you and how experienced she is, tips range from one or two night's pay or the equivalent of a week of service.
• Coaches, tutors, and instructors: A small gift from your child is perfect, such as a photo of your child playing their musical instrument (for your child’s music instructor).
• Dog walkers and groomers: One to two week’s pay for a dog walker and about half a session’s worth for your regular groomer.
• Home-care attendants: One week's pay is recommended but give two weeks for extra special care or long-term service.

I hope this helps. And again, being generous to the people who provide personalized service for your loved ones means so much when it comes to developing long-term relationships with your care givers.

Cheers,
Sheila

Thanksgiving is one of our favorite holidays! We love gathering with our extended family to celebrate—grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Here are a few ideas to help keep the clan busy!

Playing outside

While the kids are waiting for dinner, playing games outside helps pass the time and keep them occupied. Activities such as soccer, badminton, knee tackle football, or any other game you can think of, weather permitting—are fun, will use up some of the kids’ energy and also help them sit more happily through the holiday meal.

If playing outside is not appealing or the weather is frightful, you may want to gather the children to create Thanksgiving crafts together. You can use the crafts to decorate your holiday table! Having one adult who is the designated crafts person is a great idea—so is getting your supplies in advance. If you have loads of kids in attendance, a little "crafty" planning will go a long way. Here are some craft links for you to explore:

• Turkey Crafts
• Craft and Photo Tips

Holiday stories

Another option is to go around the room with each person adding to a made-up holiday story. One person could start with "A long time ago a family was gathering for Thanksgiving." Then the next person could add to it, going around the room… Or, you could read the children holiday stories. If you haven’t found anything helpful in the library, here is an online site that offers some Thanksgiving-themed stories:

• Thanksgiving Stories

Board games or Charades

Many families enjoy playing board games such as Monopoly or Scrabble when they gather. Others prefer Charades or similar games. The advantage of Charades is that usually young children can think up something in their lives that they can act out, and so it often works (with a little coaching) for the whole family.

Watching football on TV

Watching football games on TV is popular with some families, and something that people might look forward to doing together. If the family divides up between those who like to watch football and those who don’t, then having the crafts or board games available might make everyone happy.

Telling true family stories

Other families like to take advantage of a family gathering to tell and record family history. They have the older adults share family stories of why and how the first members of the family came to the United States, and what happened once they arrived. Some people then videotape the event, others tape record them, and others just listen.

Enjoy and count your blessings

Whatever you choose to do that day, or in preparation for the big day, we hope you’ll enjoy your family gathering and remember to count your blessings!

Cheers,
Sheila

Most pediatricians agree that the benefits of vaccines outweigh the risks and that they prevent horrible diseases like polio, diphtheria, and tetanus, as well as serious illnesses like measles, mumps, rubella, and whooping cough. As a public health matter, they say, vaccinating all children prevents any of these diseases from emerging in a country.

What Critics of Vaccines for Kids Say

Nevertheless, critics do make some disturbing points. One is that vaccines contain toxins. While the vaccines do prevent the illness they are intended for, critics contend, they simultaneously may be contributing to other problems in your child—such as autism, allergies and learning and/or autoimmune disorders—either through the toxins that accompany the vaccine, or through the live vaccine. Except for two vaccines, the vaccines your child receives are made with non-live bacteria, but two of them contain live (but weakened) vaccines. Critics fear that these live vaccines then live on in your child's body and may produce reactions.

It is important to point out that none of the allegations made by critics of vaccines has been proved. However, it does seem that some children who had been progressing normally developed autism soon after being vaccinated. Was this a coincidence, and would they have developed the autism even without the vaccine? At this point, the answer is not known.

Other critics contend that vaccines prevent the body from fighting diseases and developing its own natural defenses against contracting them in the future. They say that vaccines do cause a small but certain number of deaths each year, and that taking the chance that your child wouldn't develop the illness if not vaccinated may be a safer bet.

What Do You Say?

Each parent must make her own decision, weighing things like family history against the viewpoints of each side in the dispute. But keep in mind that pediatricians are nearly unanimous in agreeing that vaccinating your child is the wisest choice.

For further reading on the controversy over vaccines for kids go to:

Infant Vaccination Controversy

Shirley's Wellness Cafe

About.com: Making Sense of the Autism/Vaccine Controversy

National Vaccine Information Center

Wikipedia: Vaccine Controversy

Wikipedia: Thiomersal Controversy

The Senior Vaccine Controversy:

Why Some Believe Vaccines for Seniors May Not Be Worth It

The flu vaccine is recommended for all adults over the age of 60 because people over that age have a weaker immune system and hence a reduced ability to cope with the flu. More importantly, having the flu reduces the ability to fight other diseases, such as bacterial pneumonia.

However, some contend that precisely because seniors' immune systems are weaker, the effectiveness of the vaccine will be weaker, as the vaccine works by stimulating the immune system to fight the flu. Since the immune system is so weak to begin with, the degree of ability to fight the disease may not be high. These critics contend that any claims to the effectiveness of the flu vaccine are biased due to the inclusion in the studies of the many healthy people who are vaccinated—people who would have fought off the flu even without the vaccine.

What Should You Do?

Discuss the issue with your doctor. Even though the vaccine may not be as effective as claimed, it seems to be a safe vaccine that won't endanger you.

For more information on seniors and vaccines, and on other recommended vaccines for seniors, go to:

SAGE: The Science of Aging Research

BC Health Files: Why Seniors Should Get the Influenza Vaccine

Medical News Today

Consumer Affairs: Do Flu Shots Really Help Seniors?

MedHelp: Immunization and Vaccine Forum

Wellness is something we all strive for.

Educating yourselves about vaccines, and discussing your questions with your doctor, should help you make the right decision.

Cheers,
Sheila

If you're considering traveling with your pet on a plane to be with family this Thanksgiving, you won't want to miss our article Traveling by Plane with Your Pets. Or, if you're leaving your pet home while you travel, don't miss Finding Great Pet Care for advice on choosing the right pet sitter.

While pets make wonderful friends for children, they can also provide much-needed companionship for the elderly, especially widows and those who have lost close friends. Certain pets may be easier for older adults to care for, and may fit in better with their lifestyle, depending on how active the individual is. If you're considering acquiring a pet and you are older, here are some helpful articles to get you started:

Aging: Pets for the Elderly—the Benefits

Advantages and Disadvantages of Pet Ownership for the Elderly

Tips: Choosing Companion Pets for the Elderly

Safe Dog Breeds for Elderly People

The Right Dog for Around Seniors

Pet Love Shack

The Elderly and Pets

Cheers,
Sheila

Care.com recently launched a new Senior Care Directory, offering nationwide resources to help you care for your elderly loved ones.

Assisting our aging relatives is becoming an increasingly important issue facing many American families, and women are still shouldering the majority of the responsibility for that care. I'm pleased that Care.com can now offer solutions to ease the process of finding and hiring care providers anywhere in the country, with nationwide listings by state in the following categories:

• Health care
• Housing resources
• Transportation resources
• Home care
• End-of-life care
• Legal resources
• Financial planning and management

Read our press release for more info on the Care.com Senior Care Directory and the plight of "The Sandwich Generation", or check out our Articles & Resources section for editorial tips and advice on planning for senior care.

If you're currently looking to hire a senior caregiver, remember to search Care.com by ZIP Code for trustworthy local providers near your elderly loved ones.

Cheers,

Sheila

PS ~ For those of you in "The Sandwich Generation"—caring for both children and elderly relatives at the same time—also check out our new Day Care Directory at Care.com!

Here are some questions I typically ask a caregiver's former employer:

Performance

• What are her strengths, and what about her do you most respect?
• In what areas could she improve?  (This is a really important question.  I typically let a former employer complete her list before I probe on any one item so that I don't interrupt her train of thought.  If she can't think of anything, I may offer up some negatives that the caregiver raised in her interview.  For example: "She mentioned that she sometimes loses her patience.  Have you experienced that before?  If so, can you describe an incident where that happened?")
• Note some specific things you may want to probe for:
• How are the caregiver's communication skills?
• Does she have initiative?
• Is she organized?
• Does she handle stress well?
• Is she warm and social?
• How is her energy level?
• Can she work independently, or does she need very specific directions?
• If you were to rate her overall caregiving, would you consider it excellent, average, or poor?  Why?

Duties and Fit

• Other than caregiving, what did her duties entail?  Was she open to other duties?
• Let me tell you more about the duties I'm planning to give her.  I'd love your feedback on whether this is the right job for her given your own experience with her.

Employment History

• How long did you employ her?
• Why did she leave?
• What was her compensation level?

Closing

• What advice can you give me on managing her?
• Do you have any final comments?
• Please let me know which aspects of the reference check I can share with others and which ones are strictly confidential.

Cheers,

Sheila

Like the very young, the elderly have skin that is sensitive to the sun and are prone to heat illness. Heat is particularly dangerous for the elderly because they are often socially isolated and may be physically or mentally unable to cope with the heat.

Sweat glands and the circulation of blood through the skin are the body’s natural defenses against overheating. For seniors, these natural defenses may not be as effective as they used to be. Also, many seniors unknowingly take medication which makes them more susceptible to heat illness.

So this summer remind and help your elderly friends and family to take the proper precautions against the sun and the heat. Help your elderly relatives install their air conditioning units, mow the lawns of your elderly neighbors, and check medications for heat-related warnings and side effects.

Cheers,

Sheila

When you're traveling with your disabled or elderly loved ones, the key is to plan ahead--and not just the day before you fly. There are several logistical and emergency back-up plans that are best researched in advance, outlined below:

• Do your homework. Check out which types of airplanes you will be taking. Some planes (especially small ones that don’t use a jetway and may not have a lift) don’t have easy access for wheelchair passengers. Most airlines and online travel websites only book an hour-long layover for connections. Make sure to book a flight that has at least 1.5 to 2 hours between connections, since you are often the last to get off the plane and may need extra transit time within the airport when you're traveling with an elderly or disabled person. Check airport websites prior to traveling for the layout of the gates, as some require you to take buses between terminals. Stairs may also be difficult for your loved ones, so double check during your flight by having a flight attendant communicate ahead to ground support regarding any assistance you may need once you land.


• In-flight care. For medical assistance onboard the plane, you may want to contact the airline regarding the medical equipment they carry (apart from just the standard first aid kit). Some airlines now have medical diagnostic services that can be transmitted from a patient down to an expert on the ground, or may have an external defibrillator for emergencies.

• Providing for cuddly caretakers. If you are traveling with a guide dog (or “service dog”), make sure to have copies of their medical or health certificates from a veterinarian on the day of the flight. Airlines are not allowed to put restrictions on the number of service dogs in any given flight, but most do require a copy of vaccination records, etc.


• Hiring additional help. If you are not comfortable attending to your loved ones' needs for a long flight, you may want to consider bringing along an expert medical attendant. Some airlines may even require it, depending on the severity of your loved ones' medical condition. Be sure to check with the airline prior to booking your flight

For more tips and helpful resources, check out:

• flying-with-disability.org
• MarketWatch.com article on In-Air Health Care
• Federal Aviation Association pet page.

Cheers,

Sheila

A Care.com Book Café Recommendation from Melissa, our Editorial Director:

Like most kids, I often dreamed of running away and joining the circus. As an adult, I even wanted to take trapeze classes (they do exist, in case you're curious). So it was no surprise that I fell right into Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen's beautiful novel about Jacob Jankowski, a ninety year old man who in his youth was caretaker of the animals of the Benzini Brothers' traveling show.  Jabob flashes back to his days with the circus from his room in a nursing home almost seventy years later.

I was surprised by the sadness and deep connection I felt to my own grandparents and elder relatives as I read about Jacob’s feelings of lost youth, loneliness, depression, sometimes madness, and confinement. Jacob's family rarely visits, and he has trouble convincing his nurses of his independence (and at some points, his sanity). His flashbacks tell the story of his youthful escapades in the 1930s and the thrilling life journey they spawned, drawing on the great history of the traveling shows of the early 20th century. This book shows the tenacity and vivacity of the mind even after the body starts to fail.

Immediately after turning the last page I called my grandmother to see how she was doing, tell her I love her, and ask her what her life was like when she was my age. I recommend this book for anyone who has ever loved, admired, and been influenced by an elder relative. It will make you wish you had done more, learned more, and asked more sooner—but it reminds you that if you're lucky, it's not too late to start.

Summer is a great time for family activities—not just with your immediate family, but with your parents, grandparents, extended relatives, and family friends. Senior relatives tend to get lonely and will take pleasure in participating in even the most routine of days with their loved ones.

After observing my own parents last summer and talking with friends and family who noticed a similar level of interest from their elder relatives, I thought everyone would benefit from some ideas on fun, free summer activities for the entire family.

Be sure to check out:

• Local Borders bookstores. Most offer readings by visiting authors, story time readings for children, and other free literary community events. Visit the Borders website for Events listings.

• Free outdoor concerts and plays at community parks. Many towns and cities around the country host these summertime events annually, and my family has found them to be the perfect time for picnics. Check out our article on Fun Things for City Kids for more city-specific info.

• Community libraries. A great place to find concerts, book readings and signings, classes, and many other summertime activities for both kids and adults, public library offerings are almost always free. Not to mention educational!

• Local museums. Many lesser-known or small museums are free every day, or have a "suggested contribution" or "pay what you can" policy, while most of the major museums offer at least one night per week of free admission. Almost all museums, regardless of size, offer additional family or senior citizen discounts.

• Local garden centers. Most will sponsor outdoor events, like private garden tours or nature walks, during the peak growing seasons. Check local listings.

• Community and private colleges. Local campuses may host a variety of community activities worth looking into; art exhibits, live sporting events, or free classes are all invigorating. Check with local colleges and universities or online classifieds and community newspapers.

• Volunteer opportunities. Local non-profits, shelters, and faith-based organizations are in need of help more often than not, offering opportunities to do good while interacting with the community. Check out the Idealist website to find local charities.

• Online fun and games for rainy days. For websites that are easy to use and offer great pastimes for young and old, check out Pogo for games and How Stuff Works for educational diversions that feel like play.

• Usher vacancies at local theatres. Most theatres, especially smaller ones, hire volunteers to help patrons to their seats, hand out fliers, and generally help out on the night of the show…resulting in free admission!

Have a great summer and enjoy it with your mom, dad, older relatives, and friends—they'll thank you for it, and your kids will learn a lot about the importance of quality family time.

Cheers,

Sheila

I recently visited Michigan where I caught up with my siblings. Naturally, the topic of our parents and how and where we will care for them in the future came up. It has been an on-going topic in our family for several years. I have a brother in California, another in Seattle, two siblings in Michigan, and there are two of us here in Boston.  Other relatives and many of my parents’ friends are in Texas, however. So it’s become a difficult and often very stressful topic.

I used to think that care for my parents was a problem that I could solve in just a couple of weeks. We’d simply situate them somewhere, make sure they were okay, and then I’d get back to my own family and kids. But then reality dawned on me. My dad had a quadruple bypass when he was in his fifties, and he and my mom lived with us for a year afterward. Suddenly I realized that caring for my parents would be a long-term commitment and similar to planning out care for my children.

I just watched a great documentary by Julie Winokur and her husband and I realized I’m not alone.

I don’t like being labeled as part of a group, but the problem appears to be shared by so many other friends and colleagues. We are part of the Sandwich Generation, which is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “a generation of people who are caring for their aging parents while supporting their own children.” I read this fact in a CNN article: “Nearly 10 million boomers are now raising kids or supporting an adult child while giving a financial hand to an aging parent, the Pew Research Center reports.”

You can find the full study here.

I’ve been meeting many people in the senior care field since starting Care.com. I met an amazing and inspiring woman, Andrea Cohen, who provides assistance to Boston-area families dealing with senior care issues through her company Houseworks. She’s invited me to conferences where I’ve learned more about the importance of planning ahead. There IS help out there and there are many resources. Our hope is to assist our members with the process of finding senior care and to make it easy to find help and resources.

If you run into anything that you believe would be helpful for other readers in terms of planning and learning more about elder care for their parents and loved ones, please leave a comment.

Cheers,

Sheila

I know it's a little belated, but wanted to call attention to the fact that today, May 11th, is National Care Provider Appreciation Day!

Every year since 1996, on the Friday before Mother's Day, parents across the nation have been taking the time to thank those who care for our most precious loved ones: our children, our parents, grandparents, or disabled family members, and our pets.

Please take the time today to thank or buy a gift for the caregivers and care providers in your life. If you're stuck for ideas, check out the Celebration Ideas page of the official website for Provider Appreciation Day. I especially love the idea of working with your child to create a special remembrance, or giving your provider a "paid day off" in the form of a bonus.

I always revisit this gift guide by Susan Stellin, a writer at Real Simple magazine. The article, published last December and titled "Who? How Much?", was published as "the ultimate thank-you guide for a year of good service." It was meant as a tipping guide for the holiday season, but I find it's a relevant and handy reference for any occasion.

Ms. Stellin suggested that for care providers, gifts or cash bonuses should equal a week's worth of pay. For your nanny or for a regular caregiver who has been with you for a long time, you might want to also include a little something sentimental, like a framed photo of him or her with your loved one(s). I also always enjoy giving gift certificates for a spa or a restaurant—they always feel like extra-special treats, and are things that most people are reluctant to buy or indulge in themselves.

Make your caregiver or care provider feel appreciated!

Cheers,

Sheila