Good friends of ours in California just had a baby, and they're worried about the transition for their dog, Button, who's gotten used to being the "only child." It really got me thinking about this trend, where couples are first putting pets at the center of their nuclear family and deciding to have kids later.

Sound familiar?

In his recent book, Dogs, published by DK's Eyewitness Guides, veterinarian Dr. Bruce Fogle commented on this growing phenomenon:

"We live in an era where couples are choosing to have children later on in their lives," Dr. Fogle wrote. "Increased work, commitments, spiraling housing prices, cohabiting, and a general increase in the cost of living often mean that kids can be put on hold. Women may decide to wait until their late thirties to have their own children and, in the absence of the "real thing," the family dog takes on increased significance. It may be treated just like a child; partners in relationships often encourage their dogs to participate in as many aspects of their daily life as possible, including jogging, hiking, even dining with them, and thus create a family unit. The emergence of confident urban gay communities has also created a new sector of dog owners. Almost invariably, couples who don't have children are honest with themselves and their vets when they acknowledge that dog ownership adds glue to their relationships, a common bond, something that both individuals can embrace and care for." (pages 47-48)

Jessica Williams, a Care.com member and the proud mom of two strapping sons, ages two and four, and three happy and well-adjusted dogs, adds her veteran advice for getting the animals ready.

"Don't let the dogs get away with anything," Jessica says. "We stuck our fingers in all the places the kids would—the dogs' ears, eyes, food bowls—tugged their tails, and pet-proofed the areas the baby would be spending the most time, like the couch and floors. Our vet told us that getting rid of dog and cat hair where the baby would be laying or playing was also really important."

Jess and her husband, Luke, their Golden Retriever, Oakley, their Rottweiler-German Shepherd mix, Daisy, and their Cocker Spaniel, Olivia, plus two cats, lived happily for many years before children entered the picture. Once the kids become toddlers, Jess said it was also important for her sons to start learning about pet care responsibilities, and for the dogs to start understanding the kids' place in the food chain—literally.

"We let the kids start feeding the dogs on their own around age two. When we get up in the morning, the boys scoop the dogs' food and put down their water bowl. They love it, and the dogs have more respect for the boys as little "masters."

There are also a plethora of expert guides out there to help with the transition from "family of three" to traditional family. Each celebrity pet trainer has their own specific advice on gradually re-training your dog and getting him used to the new routines and impending chaos of having a baby around the house, and it's also important to gauge your dog's own unique personality and breed temperament.

Check out our editors' favorites:

DogSpeak by Bash Dibra

"Go back to basics and reinforce obedience and simple commands…Later, these commands allow [the dog] to lie quietly at her owner's feet as she feeds the baby, creating additional bonding between [dog] and baby and making [the dog] protective of this new, helpless creature…The dog will catch on, acting as "nanny" and alerting mom to baby's needs and cries." (pages 235-237, on pet preparations during pregnancy and afterwards)

Be the Pack Leader by Cesar Milan and Melissa Jo Peltier

"Remain in control of the dog…and never let the [child] make the first move, [paying] special attention to their behavior (excited, nervous, etc.) If the child's energy just doesn't seem right to you, or if the dog just isn't in the mood, wait. Don't risk it." (pages 263-264, on introducing your dog to a child or a stranger)

Have you gone through the transition from dog as "only child" to having real children? Please share your thoughts and experiences with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

And, for more information on preparing your pets for your baby's arrival, check out this fantastic article, Pets and Babies, by Care.com contributing writer Christine Koh, of BostonMamas.com.

Dear Readers,

I'm saddened by the responses to my previous blog post on helping your kids cope with the loss of a family pet, and troubled both by how it was misinterpreted and feelings that were hurt.  I owe you all a better explanation and an apology.

It's terrible to be faced with the necessity of having to lose or separate from one's family pet, but what I wanted to highlight was the different ways of dealing with the loss, with grieving, and with helping your children heal.  The last part in particular was the mistake I made as a young parent years ago—underestimating our son's need to grieve for the best friend he'd had for the four months that we had Apollo, before giving him to another family we knew (not a shelter.) I was more concerned about protecting my 6 year old from the harsh reality than I was in actually helping him confront it, and I wanted to help other parents not make the same mistake.  Acknowledging loss and giving children a chance to say goodbye is a crucial to step in helping them recover from the loss of a loved one—and it's definitely something I learned the hard way.

Thank you all for sharing your heartfelt and passionate feelings on this subject with me and the rest of the Care.com community. Rest assured that we are passionate about pets and their wellbeing, and, as a team, we value our commitments to our dogs, cats, and other animals as a lifelong relationship not to be entered into lightly.

~ Sheila

When our big guy, Ryan, was about 6 years old, we decided to give away his black lab, Apollo. We were going away for a few months, and we realized we really weren't at home enough to have a dog. We really blew it, though—we decided not tell Ryan about our decision until after we had already given Apollo away.

Ryan never got to say goodbye, and he was devastated. To this day, whenever we see a black lab he'll remind us of how hurt he was.  Ron and I learned our lesson, and now we always make sure to communicate with our kids about the loss of a pet, whether through an illness or a voluntary separation.

For advice on how to talk to your kids about the sensitive topics of pet care issues and coping with the loss of a pet, we interviewed Dr. Shoshana Dayanim, a developmental child psychology expert. Here are her tips:

• If your pet has to be euthanized,…
  "Make sure your child understands that even though you're "putting the dog to sleep", your pet will not in fact be sleeping, and that this is being done to save your pet from pain," Dr. Dayanim said. "This may be a good time to discuss your personal beliefs concerning death, if you deem your child old enough. Whatever you choose to discuss, keep it as simple as possible. If your child wants to know more, she will ask."

• If your pet dies in its sleep,…
  "It's important to remember that, as a parent, you know your child best and know how much information your child can handle," Dr. Dayanim said. "However, try not to underestimate your child by buying a 'replacement' pet to hide the truth that her pet has died. You should also remember that details are not necessary. A good rule of thumb is that if your child doesn't ask, don't tell them.  A young child may ask "why did Max die?" Replying "because he was very, very old and very, very sick" may be enough. When an older child inquires about their pet's death, he may want to know more details about the pet's illness, and may even ask why the pet had to go to the Vet to die."

• If you have to give your pet away,…
  "If your pet can no longer live with you for whatever reason, explain to your child as clearly as possible that the pet needs certain things that you can't give him, and that he will be happier with another family," says Dr. Dayanim. "Be careful not to blame the pet's behavior as the reason for the separation. Another thing to be sensitive about is that your young child may not understand their pet—who may have been a member of the family for as long as they can remember—is any different than they are. It's important to be careful when using terms like "put to sleep" or "getting rid of." You don't want your child to be afraid that they, too, will be "put to sleep" if they are sick or that you will "get rid of" them if they do something wrong."

Plus, if you're currently dealing with the loss of a family pet—or might be soon—check out these wonderful books, selected by our animal-loving editorial team:

Dog Chapel by Stephen Huneck
Reading level: Ages 4 to 8

A wonderfully illustrated book about the real-life animal memorial built by author Stephen Huneck in his hometown of St. Johnsbury, Vermont, Dog Chapel celebrates the love, memories, and adventures we share with those beloved family members—our dogs. A tear-out frame is included in the back of every book, which your kids can fill with their own pet's picture and send to the chapel to join his or her fellow canine comrades on the chapel's Remembrance Wall.

Good-bye, Baby Max by Diane Cantrell and Heather Castles
Reading level: Ages 4 to 8

Students in a Texas kindergarten class have a sad day when they find out that Max, one of the three baby chicks they've been watching as classroom pets, has died. Written by a former kindergarten teacher and family counselor, this book moves through several valuable lessons for kids about life, death, and the responsibility of caring for a pet.

I'll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm
Reading level: Preschool to 2nd Grade

Describing the circle of life with sweetness and humor, this book follows the life of Elfie, a dachshund, as she moves from sprightly puppy to senior dog alongside the boy who loves her, and who tells her every night "I will always love you." When Elfie doesn't wake up one morning, the family buries her in the backyard, and the boy promises that one day, when he's ready for another dog, he will make that dog feel just as special.

Saying Goodbye to Lulu by Corinne Demas and Ard Hoyt
Reading level: Preschool to 2nd Grade

An accessible story about Lulu, a black-and-white mutt, and the little girl who loves her, this book follows a family as they care for an aging and then very sick dog. When Lulu eventually passes, the family reminisces about their memories with Lulu, and validates the little girl's feelings of grief and loss. Since most kids' books have a boy as the central character, this is an especially great kids' book for anyone with daughters dealing with losing a pet.

Jasper's Day by Marjorie Blain Parker and Janet Wilson
Reading level: Kindergarten to 3rd Grade

This story follows a family and their dog, Jasper, who is close to death from cancer--he's lost his sight, his hearing, and can't move around all that well anymore. The parents, knowing the dog must be euthanized, plan an outing to visit all of Jasper's favorite places, before going to the vet together as a family to say goodbye and then burying Jasper in the backyard.

Goodbye Mousie by Robie H. Harris and Jan Ormerod
Reading level: Ages 4 to 8

A preschool boy loses his pet, Mousie, when the mouse dies in his sleep in the middle of the night. The boy plans a funeral, filling Mousie's coffin with keepsakes from their life together, but still doesn't completely understand the meaning of death. With the help and comfort of his parents, the boy starts to understand and vows to get another pet someday—"but just not yet."

Best Cat in the World by Leslea Newman and Ronald Himler
Reading level: 1st Grade to 4th Grade

A fabulous story about a boy named Victor who loses his best friend—his cat, Charlie—and has to learn to bond with his new kitten, Shelley. It's hard for Victor to move past his grief and learn to love Shelley. Eventually, Victor starts to realize that just because Shelley is different from Charlie doesn't mean they can't be friends, and they bond.

Have a favorite book that heals the heart and the home after losing a pet? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Family members are an obvious choice when you're in a pinch for care: they love your kids or pets and like to spend time with them, or they share the responsibility of caring for your parents and grandparents with you. And, they can be wonderful sources of respite care for the overworked! But there are drawbacks to having a family member provide care, and beware that confrontations and other easily-avoidable situations may arise because of your comfort level with one another. Use these guidelines—similar to those you would use when hiring a stranger—to prevent unnecessary drama.

• Expectations. When hiring a nanny or a babysitter, I typically advise people to type up their key expectations and go over them with any caregiver beforehand. You should go ahead and do that with family members, too, just as if you were hiring an outside caregiver (even though—and sometimes more importantly because—they're your relatives). I would then sit down and walk them through the list and tell them that this is what you go over with any nanny, etc. Setting clear expectations upfront helps to clear up (and stem off) any confusion.

• Core values. Emphasize the key things that are important to you. For example: Education. Your child's education is really critical to you, and is the main reason you don't want them watching TV or playing video games during the week. Or Responsibility. Teaching your kids responsibility is something that you are working on at home, which is why you expect them to pick up their toys. Although these things may seem like small things, they are crucial components to keeping things consistent for your kids. Tell your relatives that, although they may be inclined to use a different method, you would appreciate their help by adhering to your rules. Explaining your overall goals will help your relative(s) understand why you are asking them to do certain things.

• Communication. Talk often! Sit down on a regular basis and discuss how things are going. Don't just meet or talk when things are going wrong. If you talk regularly, then it won't feel like you planned a special sit-down conversation that makes things a bigger deal than they are. Whether your relative is helping you out once a year when you ask, or needs to know how overburdened you are with shared responsibilities so they can offer to help, communication is crucial—especially between family members.

• "Don't sweat the small stuff." There may be small things that irritate you, such as leaving dishes in the sink or not picking up the toys after the kids. Your nanny used to do it, but now that your sister is helping out, the house is a mess when you get home. If these things aren't the most important things to you, then let it go. Remind yourself that the quality of care—that your child is loved, well-fed, entertained, and educated—and maintaining a healthy relationship with your relative should trump any trivial or mundane annoyance you may feel.

• Payment. No one likes discussing the topic of money with a family member. If your relative is comfortable getting paid, then I would offer them an hourly wage at market rate. Find market rates in your area by searching Care.com by your ZIP code and looking at different provider profiles. You can also share this information with your relative to let them know that you came up with the rate based on objective sources. That way it removes anything personal from the conversation.

• Boundaries. Respect your family member's personal time. It's very easy to get too comfortable in the situation and take them for granted: you know that your mom or sister will always forgive you when you arrive 10 minutes late and other "harmless" offenses. But, if you expect your relatives to adhere to your wishes and your rules when caring for your child, pet, or other loved one, then you should do the same by respecting that they may have other engagements, appointments, etc. Keep your word and you'll keep their respect.

• Tough conversations. Sometimes it's better to let time lapse before having an emotional conversation (especially in front of your kids). Sometimes you may have had a bad day and thus are overreacting to a situation, taking it out on your mom or sister. You may want to let it go and wait a day or two. See if it still bothers you after you've cooled off a bit, and then you'll be able to have a more rational, productive sit-down with your family member. Even though it's your mom or sister, think about approaching the conversation as you would a friend: with a respectful tone and approach and with active listening. Seek first to understand than to be understood.

Have a great tip for navigating the waters of having family members serve as caregivers? Share it with the entire Care.com community by posting a comment!

Cheers,

Sheila

I just received a question from a reader about suggestions for gifts for day care providers, but this advice can also apply to other caregivers, as well:

• Electronic Gift Cards
  If you can afford to give them an e-gift card from Amazon or Barnes & Noble, I've done that in the past for day care providers when my boys were younger and find it's always appreciated. I would suggest a $15 value so that it can cover a nice book plus the shipping.

• Magazine Subscriptions
  There are also gift certificates available at Magazines.com. for around $20 for an annual subscription to various magazines. One year, a friend gave me a food magazine subscription that I really enjoyed. Each month when I received it in the mail, all year long, it reminded me of her thoughtfulness.

• Picture Frames
  If you're looking to spend a little less (around $10), you can always check out a discount retail store like TJ Maxx or Marshalls and pick up some nice picture frames. Leave the picture frames blank--care providers, as much as they love people and pets, really don't want prints of yours, but everyone can always use a nice, new picture frame to fill with their own special memories.

Also, if you are looking for that unique gift for your friend, co-worker or loved one, our team here at Care.com came up with "The Gift of Care", which allows you to give someone access to sanity-saving solutions for child care, elder care, pet care, and tutoring--and for just $10!

Cheers,

Sheila

Since those who care for our loved ones have an important role in our lives, we should tip them well to show our appreciation, reward them, and give them an incentive to continue providing the excellent care we want for our children, parents, and pets.

When do we tip?

When two things are provided to me:

• Personalized service. A waiter taking my specific request from a menu, a cab driver taking me to my chosen location, my hair dresser who cuts my hair that addresses my personalized needs, a clown who came over and entertained all the kids at your child’s birthday party, and etc.
• Great service. Service providers spend time to listen to my needs and are focused on me as a customer. It is my way of saying thank you and also giving someone the incentive to deliver great service next time I'm in need of their help and attention.

Who should I tip?

So many people help us throughout the year. Here are some of the caregivers you might want to tip during the holidays: Nanny, babysitter, au pair, day care staff, coaches, tutors, music and dance instructors, dog walkers and groomers, home-care attendants, housekeepers.

• In general, the more professionally credentialed (certification, license, degree in a specialty) someone is, the less they wanted to be treated as a service professional that gets a tip. I'd err on the side of giving a gift during the Holidays or a special occasion rather than a regular "tip" for their services.


• For a sitter that comes over regularly, you may consider tipping them for a job truly well done, but it isn't the norm for them to expect to get a regular "tip" every time they babysit for you.


• If you have a periodic sitter, such as a teenage babysitter or dog walker, you may want to consider tipping them for each job since they only come over occasionally. They will also feel valued and, with the competitive hiring out there today, it is worth being generous to keep quality care for your loved ones.

How much should I tip care givers and how much should I spend on a gift?

• Restaurants and wait staff: It is common in our culture now to tip for personalized service at about 15% of the typical fees you are charged—even 20% for exceptional service. We do this for restaurant wait staff, cab drivers, etc. I'd apply the same % rule for caregivers.


• Hosting a party at a venue: If you are paying a venue to host a party, but there are service providers assisting you, you should tip them 15% of an estimated $10-$12/hour (depending on years of experience of your service providers) and the number of hours they worked. For example, if you have a child's birthday party at a gym and you bring along two babysitters to help you manage the party, do tip those sitters. Check with the venue when you schedule the party—the charge for rental of the venue may include a gratuity for their staff.


• Workplace gift exchanges and showers: For a gift, most companies that plan gift exchanges over the holidays suggest $20 or $25 gifts for your secret co-worker whose name you pulled out of a hat. For a girlfriend's baby shower, a $25 to $50 gift is typically a nice budget for a cute present. For a gift for our caregivers, I like to give something in between the range of $25-$30 since they take special care of my kids and pets and I want them to feel that I took the time to choose something special for them. Also, sometimes a very inexpensive but personal gift, such as a picture frame with my child's photo on it, goes a long way.


• Recommended tips for care givers:
• Nannies and Au Pairs: If they work for you full time, give a tip that reflects 10%-15% of one weeks pay. For example, if you have a full time Nanny or Au Pair that you pay $800 per week, a 15% holiday tip would be $120.
• Regular babysitter: Depending upon how long your sitter has been with you and how experienced she is, tips range from one or two night's pay or the equivalent of a week of service.
• Coaches, tutors, and instructors: A small gift from your child is perfect, such as a photo of your child playing their musical instrument (for your child’s music instructor).
• Dog walkers and groomers: One to two week’s pay for a dog walker and about half a session’s worth for your regular groomer.
• Home-care attendants: One week's pay is recommended but give two weeks for extra special care or long-term service.

I hope this helps. And again, being generous to the people who provide personalized service for your loved ones means so much when it comes to developing long-term relationships with your care givers.

Cheers,
Sheila

Pets are family members too, so we can’t forget their health needs. This is the time of year when thoughts turn to flu vaccines and boosters for kids and elders. But, what about our pets? We don't want them left out in the cold. Aside from finding great pet care in general, being in-the-know about your pets' immunization needs is equally important.

Core Vaccinations and Non-Core Vaccinations

Current ideas about pet vaccinations suggest there are Core Vaccinations (recommended for all dogs and pups/kittens with unknown immunization history) and Non-Core Vaccinations (for high risk pets in certain geographical locations), according to the UC Davis Veterinary Medical Teaching Hospital. It's important to remember that even though our pets must be immunized against disease, they do not have the same needs and requirements as our human family members.

Here is a quick list of Core and Non-Core vaccinations for dogs and cats, listed by the UC Davis Veterinary Medical Teaching Hospital. As always, please check with your veterinarian when determining the vaccination needs of your pet.

Dogs: Core Vaccines (for high risk groups only, check with your vet)

• Canine Parvovirus, Distemper Virus, and Adenovirus-2 Vaccines
• Canine Rabies Virus Vaccines

Dogs: Non-Core Vaccines

• Canine Parainfluenza Virus and Bordetella
• Canine Distemper-Measles Combination Vaccine
• Canine Leptospira Vaccines
• Canine Borrelia burgdorferi (Lyme) Vaccine

Cats (Felines): Core Vaccinations

• Feline Herpesvirus 1, Feline Calicivirus and Feline Panleukopenia Virus Vaccines
• Feline Rabies Virus Vaccines

Cats (Felines): Non-Core Vaccinations (for high risk groups only, check with your vet)

• Feline Leukemia Virus Vaccine
• Feline Immunodeficiency Virus Vaccine
• Feline Infectious Peritonitis Vaccine
• Chlamydophila felis Vaccine
• Feline Bordetella bronchiseptica Vaccine
• Feline Giardia Vaccine

There are a wide range of common dog and puppy diseases you should discuss with your veterinarian to help determine which vaccinations are right for your pet. Some of them are:

• Distemper
• Hepatitis
• Leptospirosis
• Para influenza
• Parvovirus
• Coronavirus
• Rabies
• Bordatella
• Gastric Torsion
• Giardia
• Coccidia
• Tapeworms
• Roundworms
• Hookworms
• Heartworms

Care.com will soon feature a new Pet Breed Directory to help you with care-taking requirements for your pet. We're very excited about it. Take care of yourself, your family, and your pets this winter season.

Cheers,
Sheila

If you're considering traveling with your pet on a plane to be with family this Thanksgiving, you won't want to miss our article Traveling by Plane with Your Pets. Or, if you're leaving your pet home while you travel, don't miss Finding Great Pet Care for advice on choosing the right pet sitter.

While pets make wonderful friends for children, they can also provide much-needed companionship for the elderly, especially widows and those who have lost close friends. Certain pets may be easier for older adults to care for, and may fit in better with their lifestyle, depending on how active the individual is. If you're considering acquiring a pet and you are older, here are some helpful articles to get you started:

Aging: Pets for the Elderly—the Benefits

Advantages and Disadvantages of Pet Ownership for the Elderly

Tips: Choosing Companion Pets for the Elderly

Safe Dog Breeds for Elderly People

The Right Dog for Around Seniors

Pet Love Shack

The Elderly and Pets

Cheers,
Sheila

Pets need families to love and care for them, and family pets can provide priceless rewards and life lessons for children (and their parents). Pets offer unconditional love and companionship, have been shown to lower blood pressure and stress levels, decreasing the risks of heart disease and easing depression, and pets can teach human beings of all ages about responsibility, discipline, and the demands of caring for another living thing.

However, there are some definite considerations when making the decision to combine kids and pets—regardless of who came first. Check out these resources for more information on all sides of the family pet issue.

Bringing Home Baby
If you already have a dog or cat, be sure to check out the Humane Society's tips on preparing your pet for your family's new addition.

The Scientific American also shows that studies in recent years have proven that children raised with a family pet are less likely to develop allergies, but there are risks associated with having pets around small children that should also be weighed.

With the right mix of preparation and patience, however, you can be sure to keep your baby and your pet safe and happy—and will ensure that all members of your family are enjoying each other's company for years to come.

Preparing for Pets
Every parent will hear pleas for a pet from their kids at some point. The most important thing is to gauge whether or not your kids are ready for a pet first before giving in to their requests.

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry outlines some important caveats on making this decision, and the Best Friends Animal Society provides a fabulous guide to combining pets with kids of every age group.

The American Veterinary Medical Association provides a dozen or so "Petpourri" worksheets on their website to teach children about animals and their needs--especially great for "testing" readiness in young children. (Note: Some worksheets compare animals to food sources and may not be appropriate for vegetarian or vegan households.)

Also, the PBS Kids "Pet-acular" web site can help reinforce kids' pet knowledge and awareness through shows like Clifford and Arthur and other interactive media.

Selecting the Right Pet
Now that you've decided to get a family pet, you have the important task of choosing a pet that's right for your household and your family's lifestyle. Check out the Care.com Family Pet Guide to learn more about the most popular family pets: dogs, cats, and other animals.

Also, the Washington Post wrote an article a few years back on the best "Starter Pets for Kids," which can help simplify your decision (or introduce pets into your family picture in carefully planned phases).

Teaching Kids "The Rules"
OK: you've decided which pet is right for your family, now it's important to teach kids "The Rules." (Important even for children who don't have a family pet but may visit friends who do!)

Both the San Francisco SPCA and the FDA offer great resources for teaching kids about safety around dogs and cats, and for instilling appropriate behavior around animals in general.

FEMA also offers a guide to teach kids (and their parents!) to prepare for the unexpected, with valuable emergency drills and information for securing your pets in the event of a fire, flood, or other natural disaster—good things to incorporate into your family's emergency preparedness plan.

Have a tip or issue regarding kids and pets that you don't see here? Leave a comment so the whole Care.com community can benefit from your experience!

Cheers,
Sheila

Halloween can be downright spooky for your pets. Between the stress caused by a stream of trick-or-treaters at the door, the risks of escape (and pranksters), and the dangers of decorations and chocolate, your dogs and cats need your extra attention and protection on All Hallows Eve to ensure their safety and wellbeing.

Help Fido and Felix enjoy this holiday just as much as their humans by taking a few precautions and following these tips:

• Trick or Treating. As much as you might want your pretty little Pug or lovable Lab to accompany you and the kids on the Halloween rounds (especially if you have a costume for them), trick-or-treating is just plain stressful for your dog. The sights and sounds of this holiday are pure sensory overload, and could result in unwanted behavior (like biting or bolting) from even the normally best behaved canines. You're better off to leave pooch at home and have fun instead by taking a photo of the dog or cat in costume and entering it into an online photo contest, like these run by PetSmart, AOL, and MSNBC—or submit your pet photos to us at photos@care.com!

• Costumes. Some pets actually do love to play dress up—but the majority do not. And most will only put up with a costume for a short period of time before trying to extract themselves from it. If you do decide to dress up your pet for Halloween, make sure the costume fits, isn't restrictive to their movement (or with elastic that is just plain uncomfortable), doesn't obstruct their vision in any way, and has no small pieces or removable decorations that they could bite off or swallow. Check out these pet costumes from Target and PetSmart for ideas that are designed and manufactured specifically for your dog's (or cat's) size and breed.

• Candy. It's no secret to dog and cat owners that "people food" is bad for animals—especially chocolate. But add to the mix the chaos of a children's costume party or oblivious youngsters with a sack full of temptation, and these poor pets just can't help but get into trouble. Save yourself a trip to the vet hospital—or worse—by segregating your pets to a safe and stress-free room of the house. If you feel guilty about locking them up for the night, buy them their own small bag of treats or bones, like these from the Polka Dog Bakery in Boston, and let your kids give them to the dog or cat once guests have gone home and all the candy and decorations have been put away.

• Decorations. Lit Jack-o-lanterns, extra cords and electrical wires, and exotic foodstuffs, like gourds and dried corncobs, are fun and festive but potentially harmful to your pets. Decorate away, but leave your pets locked in the den for their own safety until the party has ended and the decorations have been packed up for next year.

• Not-so-Merry Pranksters. According to animal rescue and welfare organizations, Halloween night has a higher rate of animal abductions than any other night of the year. Don't leave your cat or dog outside, even in a fenced-in yard, and make sure they are wearing proper identification. Unfortunately, there are cruel people out there prone to "petnapping" on Halloween night—especially black cats—and will torture or even kill your beloved family pet as part of a senseless prank. Keep all domestic animals indoors when unchaperoned for the three days surrounding Halloween (the day prior, day of, and day after) for their own protection.

Check out these tips from the ASPCA, Care2, and the Humane Society for more info on do's and don'ts for pet owners on Halloween:

ASPCA: Pets & Halloween

Care2.org: Protect Pets on Halloween

Humane Society: Keep Your Pets Safe on Halloween

Hope you and your pets have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Cheers,
Sheila

At the end of summer, when everything is getting a little crazed with back-to-school preparations and hunkering down for fall activities, don't forget that your pets will be feeling it, too.  They're also a part of your family, and will pick up on your stress, anticipation, and excitement during this busy fall season. When you're planning your fall activities and transitioning from summer to the back-to-school season, make sure your pets are included (because they certainly think they are!) 

Life will be a little easier for all of you if you keep these things in mind:

• Schedules. If you're going to be out of the house more in the fall, or your kids have a heavy load of activities (lessons, upcoming recitals, and sports), find your pet sitters and dog walkers now. It's a tough transition for pets to go from having everyone home in the summer to being alone during the school year. A pet sitter lined up for regular visits, or having an on-call helper available in a pinch, will make your life (and your pet's) happier, healthier, and less stressful.

• Travel. Planning end-of-season travel (weddings, family reunions, squeezing in one last weekender) should put you in proactive pet care mode, too.  Make sure your dog or cat is properly immunized if they’re traveling with you, and be sure you have the proper transport and carriers to ensure their health and safety.  See my previous blog post on Traveling by Plane with Your Pets for more tips. If you’re planning on leaving your pets at home, start lining up your pet care providers as soon as possible.  Whether your pet will be going for a stay at a kennel, having in-home care, or even regular visits from your next-door neighbor, it's a good idea to be sure your pet is familiar with the new people who will be caring for him. Even if you're short on time, having your pet meet his new friend(s) before your trip can make a huge difference in his behavior and well-being in your absence.

Check out these helpful links for more advice:

The Human Society of the Unites States

American Airlines: Guidelines for Traveling with Pets

Travel Pets: Pet-friendly lodging worldwide

In times of transition, especially between seasons or when traveling, it's important to reassure your pets just as you would your kids.  A little extra TLC goes a long way!

Cheers,
Sheila

If you’re going on vacation and leaving Felix or Fido in your pet sitter’s home—rather than having the sitter come to yours—consider what your pet and sitter will need while you’re away. Even though you should talk things over beforehand, give your pet care provider written instructions about anything you feel is important—feeding, medication, transportation, etc. Also, provide the sitter with contact information for both you and your veterinarian.

Here are some other important items to consider sending with your pet:

• Clean bedding
• Any carriers, crates, or cages
• Leashes
• Extra collar or name tag with emergency information
• Pet food and dishes
• Your pet’s favorite toys
• Medications and first aid materials
• Grooming supplies
• Approved dog treats

If you’re wondering whether to pack a certain item, it’s always best to be on the safe side. It’s better that your sitter have extra of something than not have it at all (and not know what to do). Finally, be sure to discuss with your pet sitter what should be done in an unforeseen situation. Whether it be a trip to the vet, or simply replacing a spilled bag of your pet’s food, be sure your pet sitter has resources available or is assured of reimbursement, from you, to deal with these types of needs.

Here are some questions I typically ask a caregiver's former employer:

Performance

• What are her strengths, and what about her do you most respect?
• In what areas could she improve?  (This is a really important question.  I typically let a former employer complete her list before I probe on any one item so that I don't interrupt her train of thought.  If she can't think of anything, I may offer up some negatives that the caregiver raised in her interview.  For example: "She mentioned that she sometimes loses her patience.  Have you experienced that before?  If so, can you describe an incident where that happened?")
• Note some specific things you may want to probe for:
• How are the caregiver's communication skills?
• Does she have initiative?
• Is she organized?
• Does she handle stress well?
• Is she warm and social?
• How is her energy level?
• Can she work independently, or does she need very specific directions?
• If you were to rate her overall caregiving, would you consider it excellent, average, or poor?  Why?

Duties and Fit

• Other than caregiving, what did her duties entail?  Was she open to other duties?
• Let me tell you more about the duties I'm planning to give her.  I'd love your feedback on whether this is the right job for her given your own experience with her.

Employment History

• How long did you employ her?
• Why did she leave?
• What was her compensation level?

Closing

• What advice can you give me on managing her?
• Do you have any final comments?
• Please let me know which aspects of the reference check I can share with others and which ones are strictly confidential.

Cheers,

Sheila

If you're traveling with your pet, make sure to plan ahead so that you have a stress-free vacation.  Here are some tips:

• Double-check that your hotel is pet-friendly.  Even if it is, find out what its pet policies are—Is there an additional fee for bringing a pet?  Are there size restrictions?
• If you don't already have one, I would suggest buying a portable kennel for the hotel room.  I wouldn't leave your pet alone in the room in the kennel, but having the kennel there will make your pet feel more comfortable and will reduce barking for dogs.

To find a drop-in pet sitter, visit Pet Care at Care.com.  Check out our Articles and Resources for tips on hiring a pet sitter.

Cheers,

Sheila

Plan ahead and take a quick glance at some common health concerns:

• Fleas & Ticks: Make sure to prevent dogs and cats from flea- and tick-transmitted diseases like Lyme Disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever by using a topical oil. Check  with your veterinarian before  purchasing, as some products are safe for either a dog or a cat, but not both, and may be toxic if not administered properly. Check out these healthypet.com pages on fleas and ticks.



• Heat Exhaustion/Dehydration: Shorter walks and shady spots in the backyard are crucial as temperatures rise. When the family takes a trip to the ice cream stand, bring back sugar-free vanilla for Fido to help keep him cool, or fill his water bowl with ice cubes. Watch out for scalding-hot blacktop and sand, too—cat and dog paws are sensitive and they're always barefoot.
  
  And be sure to keep in mind the dangers of leaving your pets in the car. According to the Humane Society, even on slightly warmer days "the temperature in your car can rise to 120° in a matter of minutes, even with the windows opened slightly. Furthermore, an animal left alone in a car is an invitation to pet thieves." This is especially important to keep in mind when bringing Fido or Felix on a road trip.



• Fertilizers: Some pesticides used to make that backyard look beautiful for your family can be lethal to your family pet. For instance, cocoa mulch contains an ingredient called Theobromine (a natural compound found in chocolate) that is lethally toxic to dogs and cats. Here's a list of poisonous plants and lawn & garden products compiled by vets affiliated with the ASPCA animal poison control center



• Heartworm: Heartworm medication is just as important for "city mice" as it is for "country mice" since it can be transmitted by mosquitoes. Use peanut butter, cheese or meatballs to "make the medicine go down" if they don’t like swallowing a pill.



• Grooming. Vets warn against the "summer haircut"! While our first instinct might be to get a shorter 'do for the warmer months, dogs don't sweat through their skin like humans do (they sweat through their nose, tongue, and pads of their feet) so a haircut won't help. Unless your dog is prone to heat spots, specific to breeds like Golden Retrievers, then a haircut won't help, unless you are strapped for time and can't maintain regular brushing.



• Family picnics and summer fun. Leave Fido at home when you take the family to outdoor events and festivals! While dogs love a hike, walk in the woods, or romp on the beach with their favorite companions, they will be absolutely traumatized by fireworks, parades, and other noisy, crowd-filled events.

Check out these articles on summer pet care from the Humane Society and HealthyPet.com.

Cheers,

Sheila

While some pet owners and veterinarians advocate "doggie Valium" as a safe solution for flying with your pets, The American Veterinary Medical Association cautions against the dangers of these methods. Check out this article from the AVMA on Tranquilizing Pets for Air Travel for the details of their report.

Sedatives and tranquilizers increase the chances of respiratory and cardiovascular problems at high altitudes, which can lead to an emergency situation airlines are not equipped to handle--or even the death of your beloved pet. If your dog or cat tends to get anxious flying, you may want to consider leaving them home instead and looking for a qualified pet sitter through pet care at Care.com.

However, if you do decide to take Fido or Felix with you, here are my top 3 tips on traveling by plane with your pets:

Check airline regulations.

Plan ahead, since the details vary from airline to airline. Some airlines limit the number of pets on any given flight, while others may have a certain weight limit. Make sure you have a recent health certificate from your veterinarian handy--most airlines require this to be shown prior to boarding. Introduce your pet to their pet carrier prior to the day of travel so they're comfortable, and always bring plastic bags in case of an accident!

Pets are not cargo.

Unless you're moving and it's a one-way trip, I don’t recommend flying with your pet "checked" under the plane. It's very stressful for them, and can be truly traumatizing. Exercise this option only in emergencies or one-time situations.

Say no to "doggie drugs."

Some pet owners and vets advocate sedating your pet, however The American Veterinary Medical Association discourages it since it can lead to health problems and even death in some breeds. If your pet tends to get anxious flying, there is always the option of leaving them at home by finding a great pet sitter through pet care at Care.com.

For more tips on air travel with pets, check out the Federal Aviation Administration pet page.

Cheers,

Sheila

I know it's a little belated, but wanted to call attention to the fact that today, May 11th, is National Care Provider Appreciation Day!

Every year since 1996, on the Friday before Mother's Day, parents across the nation have been taking the time to thank those who care for our most precious loved ones: our children, our parents, grandparents, or disabled family members, and our pets.

Please take the time today to thank or buy a gift for the caregivers and care providers in your life. If you're stuck for ideas, check out the Celebration Ideas page of the official website for Provider Appreciation Day. I especially love the idea of working with your child to create a special remembrance, or giving your provider a "paid day off" in the form of a bonus.

I always revisit this gift guide by Susan Stellin, a writer at Real Simple magazine. The article, published last December and titled "Who? How Much?", was published as "the ultimate thank-you guide for a year of good service." It was meant as a tipping guide for the holiday season, but I find it's a relevant and handy reference for any occasion.

Ms. Stellin suggested that for care providers, gifts or cash bonuses should equal a week's worth of pay. For your nanny or for a regular caregiver who has been with you for a long time, you might want to also include a little something sentimental, like a framed photo of him or her with your loved one(s). I also always enjoy giving gift certificates for a spa or a restaurant—they always feel like extra-special treats, and are things that most people are reluctant to buy or indulge in themselves.

Make your caregiver or care provider feel appreciated!

Cheers,

Sheila