It's back-to-school time again and I'm really excited! On weekends, I spend a few hours developing a supplemental curriculum for my little guy.

A few of my friends tell me I'm hard core, but he doesn't really get homework yet and I'd love for him to get back into the habit of doing some work after school. It's actually become one of my favorite hobbies, and allows me to get more involved with my son's education. Plus, with email, it's now so much easier to coordinate with his teachers on what he's learning at school and at home with me. 

Last summer, I blogged about creating fall activities and traditions for you and your children. Check out these two previous posts to get started today:

Back to School Guide

Planning for Fall Activities

Also, check out two of my personal favorites for educational activities with my little guy:

• Singapore Math. This is a great program for teaching children math, either for homeschooling or as a supplement to public or private education.

• The Word Ladder series These books are great for teaching kids to read words. My little guy really learned to sound out consonants and vowels with their fun games.

Please check back over the next couple of weeks, too: as we get farther into the school year, I'll be blogging more on developing a supplemental curriculum for kids.

Do you have tips or tricks of your own for getting the kids (and yourself) ready for the school year? Or favorite fall activities for the whole family?

Share them with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Check out CBSnews.com today to watch the video of my interview with the Early Show!

**Update: Here's the direct link to the video segment.

As some of you may have read in my blog or newsletter last week, I was recently interviewed by the CBS team about saving money on child care this summer.

Do you have creative ways to save on child care that we didn't cover? Share them with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Recently, I was talking about Facebook and MySpace with my older son, Ryan, and my nieces, and they expressed—in particular—how much they dislike adults (like their parents!) hanging out online in the same places they and their friends do.

I asked them how they'd feel if future employers were also viewing their Facebook or MySpace profiles,
which made them even more uncomfortable. They still feel their personal lives are private. Even on the internet. And then I realized that many of these teens and twentysomethings are also candidates for babysitting and nanny jobs.

Would you research your caregiver online? Would you view their MySpace profile, become their Facebook friend, or read their blog?

Several newspapers have written about this trend since social media outlets like blogs and MySpace entered the online scene around 2005.

Here are two that I really liked:

The New Nanny Diaries Are Online
By Helaine Olen for The New York Times' "Modern Love" column

This column follows the story of one mom who chose to begin reading her nanny's blog, and the ensuing drama and difficult choices that followed.

Finding Babysitters, from Craig's List to MySpace
By Heather Pemberton Levy, founder and editor of the blog MommyTruths

This blog post retells the story of how one mom found out through a sitter's MySpace profile that she definitely was not the right fit for her family.

Have you read your nanny's blog, or viewed your babysitter's Facebook or MySpace profile? Would you ever ask them to connect online as a "friend"? What did you think the article from the New York Times?

Share your thoughts, opinions, and experiences with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Recently, the Early Show team from CBS News visited our offices in Waltham to learn more about our tips for cost-saving child care options this summer. Something I think we all need right about now. :)

Over the past few months, many of our members have written in with concerns over the rising cost of child care during this economy. According to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies (NACCRRA), Americans are now spending an average of $8,000 per year (nearly $700 a month) for child care for babies and toddlers. And everyone, including nannies and babysitters, is hard-pressed to budget these days—with wage workers also being forced to raise their hourly rates just in order to get by.

Recently, I've blogged about several topics around getting creative and devising a care plan that works for your budget and your family's individual needs, plus our editorial team here at Care.com has created some fantastic how-to guides for parents who are trying to determine the right rates of pay for their babysitter or nanny.

Check out these Care.com blog posts and articles for more tips on:

Affordable Child Care Options for Summer

Family Members as Caregivers

Child Care Costs: Paying a Nanny

We're Going Out—How Much Do I Pay My Sitter?

Do you have a creative way of saving on child care costs that we didn't cover? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment.

And, check back later this week for the video link to my interview on the Early Show!

Cheers,

Sheila

Good friends of ours in California just had a baby, and they're worried about the transition for their dog, Button, who's gotten used to being the "only child." It really got me thinking about this trend, where couples are first putting pets at the center of their nuclear family and deciding to have kids later.

Sound familiar?

In his recent book, Dogs, published by DK's Eyewitness Guides, veterinarian Dr. Bruce Fogle commented on this growing phenomenon:

"We live in an era where couples are choosing to have children later on in their lives," Dr. Fogle wrote. "Increased work, commitments, spiraling housing prices, cohabiting, and a general increase in the cost of living often mean that kids can be put on hold. Women may decide to wait until their late thirties to have their own children and, in the absence of the "real thing," the family dog takes on increased significance. It may be treated just like a child; partners in relationships often encourage their dogs to participate in as many aspects of their daily life as possible, including jogging, hiking, even dining with them, and thus create a family unit. The emergence of confident urban gay communities has also created a new sector of dog owners. Almost invariably, couples who don't have children are honest with themselves and their vets when they acknowledge that dog ownership adds glue to their relationships, a common bond, something that both individuals can embrace and care for." (pages 47-48)

Jessica Williams, a Care.com member and the proud mom of two strapping sons, ages two and four, and three happy and well-adjusted dogs, adds her veteran advice for getting the animals ready.

"Don't let the dogs get away with anything," Jessica says. "We stuck our fingers in all the places the kids would—the dogs' ears, eyes, food bowls—tugged their tails, and pet-proofed the areas the baby would be spending the most time, like the couch and floors. Our vet told us that getting rid of dog and cat hair where the baby would be laying or playing was also really important."

Jess and her husband, Luke, their Golden Retriever, Oakley, their Rottweiler-German Shepherd mix, Daisy, and their Cocker Spaniel, Olivia, plus two cats, lived happily for many years before children entered the picture. Once the kids become toddlers, Jess said it was also important for her sons to start learning about pet care responsibilities, and for the dogs to start understanding the kids' place in the food chain—literally.

"We let the kids start feeding the dogs on their own around age two. When we get up in the morning, the boys scoop the dogs' food and put down their water bowl. They love it, and the dogs have more respect for the boys as little "masters."

There are also a plethora of expert guides out there to help with the transition from "family of three" to traditional family. Each celebrity pet trainer has their own specific advice on gradually re-training your dog and getting him used to the new routines and impending chaos of having a baby around the house, and it's also important to gauge your dog's own unique personality and breed temperament.

Check out our editors' favorites:

DogSpeak by Bash Dibra

"Go back to basics and reinforce obedience and simple commands…Later, these commands allow [the dog] to lie quietly at her owner's feet as she feeds the baby, creating additional bonding between [dog] and baby and making [the dog] protective of this new, helpless creature…The dog will catch on, acting as "nanny" and alerting mom to baby's needs and cries." (pages 235-237, on pet preparations during pregnancy and afterwards)

Be the Pack Leader by Cesar Milan and Melissa Jo Peltier

"Remain in control of the dog…and never let the [child] make the first move, [paying] special attention to their behavior (excited, nervous, etc.) If the child's energy just doesn't seem right to you, or if the dog just isn't in the mood, wait. Don't risk it." (pages 263-264, on introducing your dog to a child or a stranger)

Have you gone through the transition from dog as "only child" to having real children? Please share your thoughts and experiences with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

And, for more information on preparing your pets for your baby's arrival, check out this fantastic article, Pets and Babies, by Care.com contributing writer Christine Koh, of BostonMamas.com.

A good friend recently told me that she won't hire "good looking" babysitters. She didn't feel comfortable with the idea, and when asked if it was because there were issues at home, she said: "There aren't any issues, which is why I don't hire them."

I'm pretty sure she was joking, but also realize that every couple and family has their own dynamic. Most people do want to see what their potential nanny looks like before meeting them for an interview. But, is there a fine line between hiring someone who's pleasing to the eye and someone who's potentially going to cause problems in your relationship? It seems that some people, like my friend, would just rather not take the risk. Is hiring an attractive babysitter or nanny to look after your kids an issue for you?

There are plenty of examples out there to justify this paranoia, of men and women cheating on their spouses with the babysitter or nanny, especially in Hollywood—movies like The World According to Garp, Spanglish, and The Sound of Music revolve at least in part around this theme, and celebrities like Jude Law, Rob Lowe, and Ethan Hawke have been attacked by the media as virtual poster boys for the phenomenon.

But, are our fears valid? Or are we just being manipulated by fictional situations and the fickle Hollywood elite?

Take our quick poll on Care.com, called Your Thoughts, and check back for the results—or post your own stories and opinions right here on my blog!

This summer, we're very fortunate to have my Mama and Papa visiting us, and I realize that we sometimes take them for granted. While they're in town, I've decided we need to plan and do more things with them—especially for our boys, so they can really get to know, learn from, and bond with the elder generation while they have the time. Sound familiar?

I also recently learned that, from Mother's Day to Father's Day, we're now recognizing the importance of that family bond with National Family Month. Time is precious, and it's important that, as parents, we help our kids engage with their elders. Kids can benefit from these bonds with their grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and elder neighbors, who are important role models and connections to the past. To celebrate, I put together a list of fun activities for kids and grandparents to share together.

Please check them out, and share your own by posting a comment!

Fun activities kids and seniors can share together:

• MAKING A FAMILY TREE
  As well as being an educational and engaging project for kids and grandparents, creating a family tree helps put connections and bonds in perspective for the entire family. It also will encourage and spark stories your kids—and maybe you!—have never heard before about how certain aunts and uncles fell in love, about family vacations long ago, or about distant relatives you never had the chance to meet. Lacking the creative streak? Check out this great family tree keepsake box from UncommonGoods.com, which does the artistic part for you.

• WRITING LETTERS
  It's no secret in this digital age that letter writing has become a lost art. Teach your child to appreciate "snail mail," storytelling, and good penmanship by becoming a Pen Pal to their grandparents or another older relative. Kids will learn important communication skills, as well as have mementos and stories from family history to someday share with their own children, and the regular communication is sure to lift the spirits of their senior relatives.

• WALKING
  Depending on the age and fitness of your elder relatives, encourage your kids to take a walk in the park or around the neighborhood with their grandparents or great uncle. As well as being great exercise, a walk outdoors will promote conversation and communing with nature that can build bonds and great memories. Kids and their older pals can spot and learn about different wildlife like birds and plants, or just chit-chat about their favorite things.

• GAMES
  Nothing says summer quite like a classic  game like Scrabble or Parcheesi. Board games are a great way to get your kids and their grandparents playing together—although it might be hard to pry them away from their Nintendo Wii. Try a swap: have your dad teach the kids how to play Rummy or chess, and then have the kids teach Grandpa how to play Mario Kart or use the Wii Fit.

• READING
  Everyone remembers the heartfelt scenes in Princess Bride, where Peter Falk plays grandfather to a young Fred Savage and spends a "home sick" day reading his grandson an epic tale. While it might be hard to recreate scenes like this in real life, having your parents read books to your kids that they read to you as a child (or that their parents read to them, even!) is a fantastic way to expose them to family history and create shared memories. Classics like Anne of Green Gables, The Story of Ferdinand, The Hardy Boys, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Heidi are perennial favorites from generation to generation.

• COOKING
  If they're willing and able to safely, encourage your kids and parents to share and cook favorite family recipes. Baking Grandma's apple pie her way or learning the secret ingredients in Grandpa's grilling sauce are memories the whole family will cherish, while creating wonderful continuity of tradition. Take photos and write down the recipes—or, better yet, have your kids and their grandparents write and decorate the recipe card together—and then bind or publish them at a later date into a special cookbook to be passed down through the generations.

• CRAFTS & HOBBIES
  If your parents have a special hobby they enjoy, encourage them to show and teach your kids about it. Knitting, playing the piano, or dancing the Waltz can all be fun ways for kids to bond with their elders and to gain an appreciation for old-fashioned entertainment.

What's your favorite way to have your kids spend time with—and show their love for—the seniors in your lives? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

With gas prices soaring to an all-time high and recession buzz on the lips of every media source, finding affordable child care this summer is a priority for all parents, including me.

Whether you need a new nanny or babysitter on the fly, as Ron and I do (our nanny, Natalie, is expecting her second child later this summer), you're looking to fill the gaps between summer camp and family vacation, or the end of school just plain snuck up on you this year, check out my Top 5 Tips for finding—and saving on—child care this summer.

1. Use your dependent care FSA.
If your employer offers a dependent care flexible spending account (FSA), use it this summer for babysitting, nannies and au pairs, community programs, child care centers, or family daycares. These pre-tax dollars are earmarked for child care, and using them for approved types of child care can save you at least 5%. Check with your human resources department or FSA provider for a list of approved, reimbursable expenses and maximum contributions and deductions.

2. Ask your employer about working from home.
Most U.S. employers have become more flexible about working from home part-time, especially given the rising costs for commuters and the efficiency of modern technology. Many are even moving towards a four-day workweek, asking their employees to work longer hours per day but fewer days per week. If you have reliable internet access and a quiet, productive place to work, you could save a bundle on child care costs this summer by working from home part-time.

3. Organize a care swap or co-op with local parents
Other parents at your child's school or in your neighborhood are probably in the same boat. Send an email around to the parents of your child's friends—or to your condo or neighborhood association—to gauge interest in a rotating swap arrangement for the vacation weeks, with one parent or family taking the kids each week. Five days of the week divided among five parents or families equals only one day of commitment per parent or family. Bingo!

4. Join forces for a care share.
If everyone works full-time, think about hiring nannies or babysitters jointly to take care of multiple kids, and rotate the house at which house the kids are being watched. My rule of thumb for quality child care is that no single babysitter or nanny should watch more than 3 kids under the age of 6, more than 4 kids under the age of 12, and no more than 5 kids total of combined ages. Babysitters and nannies can be your best bet for recruiting a buddy, too: they have friends or siblings they might like to work with for the summer, and may offer a shared, discounted rate in exchange for the benefit of companionship on the job.

5. Hire a college student, local teacher, or academic professional
Most students and academic professionals either have their summers off or have more flexible schedules with "summer hours," meaning they may work fewer days in the workweek for the summer months, or have shortened hours each day throughout the week. Since travel has become so expensive, students and teachers may also be rethinking their plans to take the summer off, and may be looking for additional income to cover their own rising expenses.

Have your own tips or advice for saving on summer child care expenses? Share them with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

We've all been there—a friend comes to you in child care desperation, and asks if you can recommend a sitter or if they can hire your own babysitter or nanny "just this once." They promise not to steal her away, but you're hesitant and protective of your hard-won resource. The answer most parents give to the question of "Can I share or borrow your babysitter?" is usually a clear and unequivocal "No."

Why? Well, the common feeling is that you only have a certain amount of control over your child care situation anyway—babysitters leave or graduate from college or get married, etc.—and eventually, you'll need to make alternate plans. So while it's working, people are protective, and think "Don't even consider talking to my sitter!"

This urgent need for available, high-quality, and trustworthy babysitters and nannies is one of the biggest reasons we started Care.com. Most people are still afraid, however, that even with great resources, sharing their fantastic child care provider is going to bring them back to square one all over again.

My advice is to handle those tough conversations with friends and neighbors by weighing the risk and by asking yourself the following questions:

• Who's asking for the help?
  Gauge how well you know the person, the strength of your relationship with them, and also what their regular child care situation is. Are they panicking because they're in a desperate, emergency scenario? Or, are they probing because they're looking to hire someone regular, and wouldn't regret sacrificing your friendship for a great sitter.

• How much help do they need?
  Gauge the likelihood of this person taking up all of your sitter's free time, leaving none for watching your own kids. If you've hired this sitter for two days a week and your friend only needs the occasional Saturday, then it's probably fine. However, if your nanny is with you full-time (like mine was!) and your friend needs a few weekday evenings each week, it's probably not a good idea to share your sitter.

• How much work does your sitter need?
  Gauge your sitter's own needs. Do you know how much work and how many clients they currently have, versus how much or how many they might like to have? Again, if you're only hiring your sitter every other Thursday while you have book club, and your sitter would like to work 4 nights a week, then she may leave you anyway if she's not making enough to meet her income needs. But, always use caution when acting as your sitter's personal PR assistant!

• Is there something (or someone) else you can recommend?
  In general, it's OK to be cautious and to diplomatically decline to introduce the person to your sitter. Say, "Well, my sitter is really busy, but I can ask her if she has any friends she can recommend." You can also offer to refer them to other moms who may be able to recommend a sitter or nanny, or you can always refer them to Care.com!

• Understand that you don't "own" your sitter.
  You may find yourself in a situation where your sitter needs more money, or more hours, etc. anyway. Babysitters by nature usually have half a dozen clients, where a nanny may only have one or two. Like they say in sports, "The best offense is a good defense." Make sure your babysitter or nanny is happy, and don't take it too personally if they do leave you for any reason, be it for another family or for an all-around better opportunity, like an educational, career, or geographic change. Knowing your sitter's needs up front—and trying to help her meet them!—will help ensure a long term relationship, and lessen the likelihood of her being "poached" by another family.

Remember, too, that most people poach sitters unwittingly: they don't think of it as stealing, but they may offer more money, more hours, may be a better personality fit for the sitter, or may need more help, therefore eating up all your sitter's free time (leaving less—if any—for you.)

Do you have a story or tips on babysitter poaching or nanny napping? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Little did we know that while we were focusing on our plans for National Care Provider Day and Mother's Day, we missed "Poem in Your Pocket Day" on April 17th, in honor of National Poetry Month.

Felice, our editorial guru, shared with us a poem her son Max wrote for Care.com, so that we would all have a poem to keep in our pockets that day.

Max's poem is an adorable reminder of the fact that we're not just a company whose mission is to help families find care--we're a company supported by our own caring families and caregivers, and absolutely couldn't be successful without them.

So, thanks, Max, for reminding us of what's important! Read on for Max's poem to Care.com:

- - - - - -

There Was a Tiny Company
an ode to Jack Prelutsky's "There was a Tiny Baker"

by Max B.

There was a tiny company

That had a tiny dot (.)

They help you find a babysitter

And we like that a lot.

They work so hard

From dawn to dusk

And when they're finally home,

They kick their shoes off

to relax

and give their dog a bone.

(because they do pet care, too.)

- - - - -

This Mother's Day, we're also celebrating family members and caregivers by inviting you to share a story about the care heroes in your life.

To learn more, please check out  our Celebrating Care Heroes Contest.

Happy Mother's Day!

~ Sheila

In light of our recent series on managing our relationships with our caregivers, I thought it was time to talk about some other tough care-related questions, like "How do you know when it isn’t working out with your caregiver?" and "When should you let your nanny go?"

My rule of thumb is that you always need to ensure that you have "peace of mind." If you're constantly stressed out and worried about the situation, it might be time to rethink your choice of caregivers.

Here are some of the biggest "red flags" I always say to watch out for:

• Your child has frequent bumps and scrapes.
  Sure, kids will be kids, so don’t panic at the first sight of a scraped knee.  But if accidents start to become a more-than-normal occurrence, it could be a sign that your babysitter is not keeping a watchful eye on your children.

• Your babysitter is doubling as social chair.
  You come home early or make a surprise pop-in to find your babysitter has invited friends over without your permission. And it's not the first time. Or perhaps she’s always busy talking on the phone while your kids are in the other room unattended.  Either way, the primary focus of a good babysitter should always be your kids–socializing should take place on their own time. 

• Your babysitter has an Internet alter-ego.
  Today’s younger generation is very in touch with social computing, from MySpace to Facebook. Sure your babysitter will do her best to make a good impression on you, but it never hurts to do your homework.  Although profiles on social media sites are often private, it is worth taking a look around on places like MySpace and Facebook to see if your potential sitter has a page. At the very least it will give you more insight into their personality and interests–-and in the worst case scenario, if the content of their profile raises a red flag, you can respectfully look at other options.
  

• Your child begs you to stay.
  Getting used to a new babysitter takes time, and kids will naturally miss Mom and Dad at first. But, if your child is regularly upset or angry over the prospect of being left at home with a babysitter, then likely there's an underlying issue, either with your child or with their caregiver.  Remember, as much as you may like someone, it’s even more important that your kids do, too.

• You have that gut feeling.
  Maybe it’s driven by one of the reasons listed above, or maybe you just have that unsettling feeling in your stomach that something isn’t right.  At the end of the day, it’s your child, so trusting your own instincts is important. Especially for first-time parents, leaving your child with anyone can be a challenging hurdle to overcome. If you have a gut feeling that something seems out of place, however, it’s best to part ways with your babysitter amicably rather than risk an uncomfortable situation.

Check out my interview with FOX News Chicago from this past Tuesday for more of my thoughts on warning signs and knowing when it's time to let your nanny or babysitter go.

Have a babysitter or nanny horror story of your own? Or some tips and advice on what to look out for with your caregivers? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

If you haven't started already, now is the time to research and register your kids for either a privately- or publicly-run summer camp. February is the traditional registration month, but it's not too late to find great sport-specific or general sporting camps for your kids now. Wait past March, however, and you may be searching Care.com for a summer nanny!

Even if your child doesn't play organized sports during the year at school, sporting camps are a great way to get them outdoors and moving actively in the nice weather. (And, away from the video games, TV, and computer!)

Not sure where to start? Check these out:

American Camping Association
The best general website I've found for matching your child with the right camp is run by the American Camping Association. Their "Find a Camp" section features advanced search tools with all the possible selection criteria, and then returns only accredited programs. You can search by targeted focus (such as sports camps or visual & performing arts camps), specialty (such as weight loss), special needs (such as allergies or autism)—even by affiliation with trusted organizations, like the YMCA or Board of Education. You can even refine by location, cost, length of stay, single sex versus coed, day camp versus sleepover, and age of campers!

General Sporting Camps
Another great way to find general summer sports camps is by checking with your child's school, their existing coaches, local recreation departments, or with other parents in your neighborhood.

Camp All-Star, for instance, is a highly-recommended coed sleepover camp with "campuses" in Maine (at the Kent's Hill School in Augusta) and Tennessee (at the Baylor School in Chattanooga). Campers are encouraged to "major" in two sports: Maine offers ice hockey, basketball, soccer, baseball, and tennis; Tennessee offers basketball, baseball, soccer, swimming, diving, and tennis. Both campuses offer additional "minor" sports, as well, including track and field, lacrosse, flag football, and more.

Camps like All-Star are a great way for kids to experience the outdoors, make new friends, and learn from college role models while gaining independence away from their parents and siblings. But publicly-run day camps are also a fantastic option, and are usually lower-priced. Many times they allow kids to go to camp with their friends from school or their neighborhood, too, so they don't feel like they're "missing anything" back at home during summer break. Check with your local YMCA, Boys & Girls Club, or town / city hall for more information on general sporting camps in your area.

Sport-Specific Camps
For single-sport summer camps, such as football, figure skating, soccer, or basketball, for instance, there are three great ways to find the highest-quality instruction:

1. National sporting organizations. By contacting the national governing body for the sport your child is most interested in, like US Soccer or the United States Figure Skating Association (USFSA), you can usually find contact information for the most reputable camps and training programs--ones their stars may have even attended—and can sometimes get a list of all programs.

2. Professional sports teams. If you live in a major city with a pro sports team matching your child's sport of interest, contact their offices or check out their official website for a list of recommended camps. Many organizations host their own summer programs or camps, like the Sixers Camps run by the Philadelphia Sixers or The Matt Light Camp, run by the Matt Light Foundation and featuring players from the New England Patriots.

3. Universities and colleges. Many college athletic departments host their own summer sports camps, as a way for their college stars to get experience coaching and to utilize the vacant dormitories and facilities during summer break, which are usually a little lower in price than private general sporting camps. The University of Notre Dame, for instance, offers almost 20 different programs for girls and boys with both day camp and sleepover options, and Bentley College is renown for its basketball camps, featuring players from the Boston Celtics, as well as its volleyball program. Check with your local college, university, or board of education for offerings in your area.

Are sports and activities a little daunting for your child, or just not your family's cup of tea? Check out my previous blog posts from last summer on planning for summer child care or finding an academic summer camp.

Have tips and advice on finding the summer camp for your child or planning for kids' summer activities? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Cheers,
Sheila

There's nothing like finding a reliable, compassionate babysitter or nanny to care for your children when you're away from home and the feelings of security it provides. But, what happens when you start to feel like your kids are more attached to their nanny than to you?

Here are my rules to remember:

There should be no guilt!
First of all, a parent's choice to go back to work and hire a full- or part-time caregiver for their kids is not a reflection of how much they love their children. It's just a necessity of life these days: statistics show that 46% of families have either both parents working full-time or, in single-parent households, the primary parent works full-time. Dual-income households have doubled over the past 20 years, and whether or not your decision to go back to work was a necessity or a personal choice, you should not feel guilty about having a career and a life away from your kids!

Parenting has phases of development.
Moms in particular have a hard time with the guilt and separation anxiety that results from leaving their kids with a caregiver and going back to work—especially first-time moms. But, just as your kids will go through phases of growth and development, you have phases of development as a parent to deal with, too. Learning to detach emotionally and discern between your kids' love for Mom and Dad and their love for their caregiver is just another phase and hurdle that all parents have to overcome.

Feeling hurt or sad is your issue to deal with.
It's normal, especially for new parents, to feel hurt when the kids no longer come running when you walk in the door. But recognize that how happy or sad you feel is your issue to deal with, not a reflection of how much your kids love you. Try not to get hurt or sad—or worse, mad at or jealous of the nanny—and remember that your kids will always love Mom best.

Attachment to their caregiver is a sure sign of a great babysitter or nanny!
Once you put the reality of the situation in perspective, you'll be able to cherish the fact that your kids are being so well cared for when you're not home. Encourage this relationship between your children and their caregiver and engage with the nanny as another member of the family—because in your kids' eyes, they now are.

Kids will become attached to their babysitters and nannies, and may even start to exhibit some of their caregiver's personality traits. These are also normal phases, and reinforce how important it is to find a caregiver that's the right fit for your family.

Your child has different types of love for different types of relationships.
Your kids will always love you more than their caregivers, but out of necessity, they do form a special kind of bond with them. Accept that these are two different types of love and two totally different relationships your kids are having with you and with nanny, even though they may now exhibit some behaviors around their caregivers they used to reserve only for Mom. It's perfectly normal.

Learning to detach and accept that your child has different types of love for different relationships now will help prepare you for handling their relationships with girlfriends and boyfriends down the line, too!

Have your own tips or advice on dealing with feelings of jealousy when it comes to your child's love for their caregiver? Share them with the Care.com community by leaving a comment!

Cheers,
Sheila

Family members are an obvious choice when you're in a pinch for care: they love your kids or pets and like to spend time with them, or they share the responsibility of caring for your parents and grandparents with you. And, they can be wonderful sources of respite care for the overworked! But there are drawbacks to having a family member provide care, and beware that confrontations and other easily-avoidable situations may arise because of your comfort level with one another. Use these guidelines—similar to those you would use when hiring a stranger—to prevent unnecessary drama.

• Expectations. When hiring a nanny or a babysitter, I typically advise people to type up their key expectations and go over them with any caregiver beforehand. You should go ahead and do that with family members, too, just as if you were hiring an outside caregiver (even though—and sometimes more importantly because—they're your relatives). I would then sit down and walk them through the list and tell them that this is what you go over with any nanny, etc. Setting clear expectations upfront helps to clear up (and stem off) any confusion.

• Core values. Emphasize the key things that are important to you. For example: Education. Your child's education is really critical to you, and is the main reason you don't want them watching TV or playing video games during the week. Or Responsibility. Teaching your kids responsibility is something that you are working on at home, which is why you expect them to pick up their toys. Although these things may seem like small things, they are crucial components to keeping things consistent for your kids. Tell your relatives that, although they may be inclined to use a different method, you would appreciate their help by adhering to your rules. Explaining your overall goals will help your relative(s) understand why you are asking them to do certain things.

• Communication. Talk often! Sit down on a regular basis and discuss how things are going. Don't just meet or talk when things are going wrong. If you talk regularly, then it won't feel like you planned a special sit-down conversation that makes things a bigger deal than they are. Whether your relative is helping you out once a year when you ask, or needs to know how overburdened you are with shared responsibilities so they can offer to help, communication is crucial—especially between family members.

• "Don't sweat the small stuff." There may be small things that irritate you, such as leaving dishes in the sink or not picking up the toys after the kids. Your nanny used to do it, but now that your sister is helping out, the house is a mess when you get home. If these things aren't the most important things to you, then let it go. Remind yourself that the quality of care—that your child is loved, well-fed, entertained, and educated—and maintaining a healthy relationship with your relative should trump any trivial or mundane annoyance you may feel.

• Payment. No one likes discussing the topic of money with a family member. If your relative is comfortable getting paid, then I would offer them an hourly wage at market rate. Find market rates in your area by searching Care.com by your ZIP code and looking at different provider profiles. You can also share this information with your relative to let them know that you came up with the rate based on objective sources. That way it removes anything personal from the conversation.

• Boundaries. Respect your family member's personal time. It's very easy to get too comfortable in the situation and take them for granted: you know that your mom or sister will always forgive you when you arrive 10 minutes late and other "harmless" offenses. But, if you expect your relatives to adhere to your wishes and your rules when caring for your child, pet, or other loved one, then you should do the same by respecting that they may have other engagements, appointments, etc. Keep your word and you'll keep their respect.

• Tough conversations. Sometimes it's better to let time lapse before having an emotional conversation (especially in front of your kids). Sometimes you may have had a bad day and thus are overreacting to a situation, taking it out on your mom or sister. You may want to let it go and wait a day or two. See if it still bothers you after you've cooled off a bit, and then you'll be able to have a more rational, productive sit-down with your family member. Even though it's your mom or sister, think about approaching the conversation as you would a friend: with a respectful tone and approach and with active listening. Seek first to understand than to be understood.

Have a great tip for navigating the waters of having family members serve as caregivers? Share it with the entire Care.com community by posting a comment!

Cheers,

Sheila

I just received a question from a reader about suggestions for gifts for day care providers, but this advice can also apply to other caregivers, as well:

• Electronic Gift Cards
  If you can afford to give them an e-gift card from Amazon or Barnes & Noble, I've done that in the past for day care providers when my boys were younger and find it's always appreciated. I would suggest a $15 value so that it can cover a nice book plus the shipping.

• Magazine Subscriptions
  There are also gift certificates available at Magazines.com. for around $20 for an annual subscription to various magazines. One year, a friend gave me a food magazine subscription that I really enjoyed. Each month when I received it in the mail, all year long, it reminded me of her thoughtfulness.

• Picture Frames
  If you're looking to spend a little less (around $10), you can always check out a discount retail store like TJ Maxx or Marshalls and pick up some nice picture frames. Leave the picture frames blank--care providers, as much as they love people and pets, really don't want prints of yours, but everyone can always use a nice, new picture frame to fill with their own special memories.

Also, if you are looking for that unique gift for your friend, co-worker or loved one, our team here at Care.com came up with "The Gift of Care", which allows you to give someone access to sanity-saving solutions for child care, elder care, pet care, and tutoring--and for just $10!

Cheers,

Sheila

Since those who care for our loved ones have an important role in our lives, we should tip them well to show our appreciation, reward them, and give them an incentive to continue providing the excellent care we want for our children, parents, and pets.

When do we tip?

When two things are provided to me:

• Personalized service. A waiter taking my specific request from a menu, a cab driver taking me to my chosen location, my hair dresser who cuts my hair that addresses my personalized needs, a clown who came over and entertained all the kids at your child’s birthday party, and etc.
• Great service. Service providers spend time to listen to my needs and are focused on me as a customer. It is my way of saying thank you and also giving someone the incentive to deliver great service next time I'm in need of their help and attention.

Who should I tip?

So many people help us throughout the year. Here are some of the caregivers you might want to tip during the holidays: Nanny, babysitter, au pair, day care staff, coaches, tutors, music and dance instructors, dog walkers and groomers, home-care attendants, housekeepers.

• In general, the more professionally credentialed (certification, license, degree in a specialty) someone is, the less they wanted to be treated as a service professional that gets a tip. I'd err on the side of giving a gift during the Holidays or a special occasion rather than a regular "tip" for their services.


• For a sitter that comes over regularly, you may consider tipping them for a job truly well done, but it isn't the norm for them to expect to get a regular "tip" every time they babysit for you.


• If you have a periodic sitter, such as a teenage babysitter or dog walker, you may want to consider tipping them for each job since they only come over occasionally. They will also feel valued and, with the competitive hiring out there today, it is worth being generous to keep quality care for your loved ones.

How much should I tip care givers and how much should I spend on a gift?

• Restaurants and wait staff: It is common in our culture now to tip for personalized service at about 15% of the typical fees you are charged—even 20% for exceptional service. We do this for restaurant wait staff, cab drivers, etc. I'd apply the same % rule for caregivers.


• Hosting a party at a venue: If you are paying a venue to host a party, but there are service providers assisting you, you should tip them 15% of an estimated $10-$12/hour (depending on years of experience of your service providers) and the number of hours they worked. For example, if you have a child's birthday party at a gym and you bring along two babysitters to help you manage the party, do tip those sitters. Check with the venue when you schedule the party—the charge for rental of the venue may include a gratuity for their staff.


• Workplace gift exchanges and showers: For a gift, most companies that plan gift exchanges over the holidays suggest $20 or $25 gifts for your secret co-worker whose name you pulled out of a hat. For a girlfriend's baby shower, a $25 to $50 gift is typically a nice budget for a cute present. For a gift for our caregivers, I like to give something in between the range of $25-$30 since they take special care of my kids and pets and I want them to feel that I took the time to choose something special for them. Also, sometimes a very inexpensive but personal gift, such as a picture frame with my child's photo on it, goes a long way.


• Recommended tips for care givers:
• Nannies and Au Pairs: If they work for you full time, give a tip that reflects 10%-15% of one weeks pay. For example, if you have a full time Nanny or Au Pair that you pay $800 per week, a 15% holiday tip would be $120.
• Regular babysitter: Depending upon how long your sitter has been with you and how experienced she is, tips range from one or two night's pay or the equivalent of a week of service.
• Coaches, tutors, and instructors: A small gift from your child is perfect, such as a photo of your child playing their musical instrument (for your child’s music instructor).
• Dog walkers and groomers: One to two week’s pay for a dog walker and about half a session’s worth for your regular groomer.
• Home-care attendants: One week's pay is recommended but give two weeks for extra special care or long-term service.

I hope this helps. And again, being generous to the people who provide personalized service for your loved ones means so much when it comes to developing long-term relationships with your care givers.

Cheers,
Sheila

Finding care for kids during the winter holidays can be a real mind-bender! Our usual sources of great care are unavailable and we need to be a little more creative.  In the middle of all the shopping and decorating, take a few  moments to think about what your care planning needs are during the winter break, since they are likely to be a little bit different than your regular needs. You may have holiday parties to attend (without the kids), travel plans, and other seasonal needs to contend with—so take stock of your child care options and get started with your planning.

Babysitters:
Even babysitters go on vacation, so get your requests in early. Know when your holiday office party is? Don’t wait another second to call your sitter. Don’t know when your office party is? Talk to your sitter and see what holiday plans are on her radar. Some babysitters come home from college and it is good to reach out to them earlier. Let her know what’s coming up on yours, so neither of you will be caught by surprise. Some sitters might even hold a tentative date for you until you can confirm your plans! Ask early and remember that your care takers want to make holiday plans too. You can also go to Care.com to post a job today. Many of our members have success in finding babysitters when they post a job ahead of time.

Friends:
During winter break, you’ll find many more friends at home. Organizing play dates can actually be much easier than during the school year when you have to navigate all kinds of appointments and lessons and activities. If you need to arrange kid coverage so you can get to work or have a few hours for yourself, talk to your friends. Many parents find themselves at home with the kids and wish they had play dates to liven things up. Call or email your network of friends now—organize a group play date—or find out if anyone can trade off some time with you. It works just great and the kids love it. Finally, don’t forget to check in with your friends who have older kids home on college break. They might love to baby sit to make extra money.

Family:
If you’re lucky enough to have family that lives nearby, check in with them about helping with the kids during winter break. Even if it’s not something you can usually arrange during the year, grandma and grandpa, or aunts and uncles might have more flexible schedules during the holidays. It’s extra special when kids can spend time with family. They can have a local adventure together to see a movie, go to the library or do crafts at home (which you will have already prepped for such an occasion). See my blog post on holiday activities if you need some tips.

Camps:
If you need regular child care throughout the holidays, check your local town listings for special winter break camps. Most town recreation departments offer vacation camp for kids ages 5-12. Check your town’s website and see what’s available now. Camps like this fill up quickly, so now is the time to check it out. Your hometown is not the only source for camps and activities though—check your local museums, libraries, YMCA’s, gyms, and colleges. You’ll find a wide variety of winter break classes and activities for kids of all ages. The key is not to wait, if possible!

Cheers,
Sheila

This holiday season, it can be hard not to feel bored and restless while cooped up in the house. But even if you don’t have travel plans, there’s plenty you can do to make your holidays just as memorable. And, when (and if) the weather gives you a break, you can venture outdoors for activities or day trips that will excite the whole family—especially if everyone is involved in the planning.

If you’re staying home…

• Try a new recipe. Whether it’s a whole meal or just a holiday treat, take the opportunity to bond in the kitchen by cooking together as a family. Check out MomsMenu.com for some great ideas.

• Plan and have a holiday party. This can be for friends, family, or both. Choose a date, and get the kids involved in making invitations and decorations. A party will be a fun (and convenient) way to see loved ones who will also be staying close to home this holiday season. iVillage has some great ideas for those on a budget.

• Relax and watch a movie. While this may not seem like a memorable activity, sometimes we get so busy during the holidays that carving out relaxation time is exactly what everyone needs. It’s important to just be able to enjoy each other’s company. Check out MSN’s 13 favorite holiday movies for ideas that the whole family will enjoy.

If you’re itching to get out of the house…

• Have cold weather in your local area? Round up the kids to go snowshoeing, sledding, or have a snowman building contest. Or, get in the car and go to a local ski hill (if you aren’t skiers, be adventurous and take a lesson together)!

• Have warm weather where you live? Get outside with the family and check your local trails for hiking. Your local sporting goods stores, such as EMS, are great resources for hiking and camping information.

• Try visiting a museum! It’s a great family activity. Some parents are hesitant about taking kids to a museum, but there are so many options now for kid-friendly programs that this shouldn’t be a concern. If you don’t have a museum nearby that caters to families with young children, you can still bring your little ones. Kids love visual art. If they’re young, just visit the museum for 30 minutes—take a stroll through one gallery. Point out colors and recognizable images and maybe have a snack in the museum café. You’ll all have a good time without the kids getting tuckered out from an overlong museum visit.

• You can also “play tourist” in your own town. Use this time to check out some of the local places you’ve always meant to see, but never had time visit.

There are so many things to do; gather the family together and start making a list!

Cheers,
Sheila

Thanksgiving is one of our favorite holidays! We love gathering with our extended family to celebrate—grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Here are a few ideas to help keep the clan busy!

Playing outside

While the kids are waiting for dinner, playing games outside helps pass the time and keep them occupied. Activities such as soccer, badminton, knee tackle football, or any other game you can think of, weather permitting—are fun, will use up some of the kids’ energy and also help them sit more happily through the holiday meal.

If playing outside is not appealing or the weather is frightful, you may want to gather the children to create Thanksgiving crafts together. You can use the crafts to decorate your holiday table! Having one adult who is the designated crafts person is a great idea—so is getting your supplies in advance. If you have loads of kids in attendance, a little "crafty" planning will go a long way. Here are some craft links for you to explore:

• Turkey Crafts
• Craft and Photo Tips

Holiday stories

Another option is to go around the room with each person adding to a made-up holiday story. One person could start with "A long time ago a family was gathering for Thanksgiving." Then the next person could add to it, going around the room… Or, you could read the children holiday stories. If you haven’t found anything helpful in the library, here is an online site that offers some Thanksgiving-themed stories:

• Thanksgiving Stories

Board games or Charades

Many families enjoy playing board games such as Monopoly or Scrabble when they gather. Others prefer Charades or similar games. The advantage of Charades is that usually young children can think up something in their lives that they can act out, and so it often works (with a little coaching) for the whole family.

Watching football on TV

Watching football games on TV is popular with some families, and something that people might look forward to doing together. If the family divides up between those who like to watch football and those who don’t, then having the crafts or board games available might make everyone happy.

Telling true family stories

Other families like to take advantage of a family gathering to tell and record family history. They have the older adults share family stories of why and how the first members of the family came to the United States, and what happened once they arrived. Some people then videotape the event, others tape record them, and others just listen.

Enjoy and count your blessings

Whatever you choose to do that day, or in preparation for the big day, we hope you’ll enjoy your family gathering and remember to count your blessings!

Cheers,
Sheila

We dread it. We know they'll hate it. But do we have an alternative?

Holiday shopping with kids is the pits. When we are actually shopping for them, rather than for the other family and friends on our list, taking them to Toys R Us or similar places just means they will be exposed to tons of toys they won’t be getting for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. Although we're shopping in order to be generous to them, we'll either end up feeling like Scrooge for saying “no” to many toys they're dying to have, or else we'll bust our budget and spend the rest of the year scrimping.

Are there any alternatives to this horror of a day, which of course includes crowds everywhere, parking miles from the store, and losing something along the way, whether it's your child's favorite blankie, your credit card, or your older son's jacket, which “I just put down for one minute…”

The best solution is to hire a babysitter to care for our children while we shop. Care.com’s babysitter listings are just what you need to save your sanity.

You can always consider some of the more desperate solutions other moms have invented. They're expensive and silly, but they have worked for some. One mom had her hubbie watch the kids for the day, and then checked into a motel right next to the mall. She spent the day shopping without enduring any whining; returned to the motel, wrapped and labeled the gifts; and returned home at midnight to hide the presents while the kids were fast asleep. It was, she said, the most perfect shopping experience she had ever had. Her hubbie of course had a different opinion.

Another friend, desperate to have her kids visit Santa at the mall without waiting in line for hours, which in the past had ruined the experience for all of them, actually took them out of school for a morning so that they could be the first ones to visit Santa. This then kept the kids in a good enough mood for her to do a small bit of shopping, without crowds. It was a strategy born of need, but should only be used as a very last resort measure. She feels guilty to this day, I'm sure.

Other options? Be realistic.

Carol Tibaldi recommends the following in her article Christmas Shopping with the Kids

• only shopping with well-rested children
• taking frequent breaks—for snacks and play time
• bringing small toys for your kids to play with while you’re shopping

But the general consensus is that this is one experience it is best to avoid if at all possible. Hire a sitter and give yourself a break. Get to Care.com now and you can get your shopping done at an enjoyable pace and feel confident the kids are safe and having a great time while you stock up on their holiday gifts. And, by the way, many a babysitter has been known to help with wrapping presents—always good for an extra tip!

Cheers,
Sheila

Most pediatricians agree that the benefits of vaccines outweigh the risks and that they prevent horrible diseases like polio, diphtheria, and tetanus, as well as serious illnesses like measles, mumps, rubella, and whooping cough. As a public health matter, they say, vaccinating all children prevents any of these diseases from emerging in a country.

What Critics of Vaccines for Kids Say

Nevertheless, critics do make some disturbing points. One is that vaccines contain toxins. While the vaccines do prevent the illness they are intended for, critics contend, they simultaneously may be contributing to other problems in your child—such as autism, allergies and learning and/or autoimmune disorders—either through the toxins that accompany the vaccine, or through the live vaccine. Except for two vaccines, the vaccines your child receives are made with non-live bacteria, but two of them contain live (but weakened) vaccines. Critics fear that these live vaccines then live on in your child's body and may produce reactions.

It is important to point out that none of the allegations made by critics of vaccines has been proved. However, it does seem that some children who had been progressing normally developed autism soon after being vaccinated. Was this a coincidence, and would they have developed the autism even without the vaccine? At this point, the answer is not known.

Other critics contend that vaccines prevent the body from fighting diseases and developing its own natural defenses against contracting them in the future. They say that vaccines do cause a small but certain number of deaths each year, and that taking the chance that your child wouldn't develop the illness if not vaccinated may be a safer bet.

What Do You Say?

Each parent must make her own decision, weighing things like family history against the viewpoints of each side in the dispute. But keep in mind that pediatricians are nearly unanimous in agreeing that vaccinating your child is the wisest choice.

For further reading on the controversy over vaccines for kids go to:

Infant Vaccination Controversy

Shirley's Wellness Cafe

About.com: Making Sense of the Autism/Vaccine Controversy

National Vaccine Information Center

Wikipedia: Vaccine Controversy

Wikipedia: Thiomersal Controversy

The Senior Vaccine Controversy:

Why Some Believe Vaccines for Seniors May Not Be Worth It

The flu vaccine is recommended for all adults over the age of 60 because people over that age have a weaker immune system and hence a reduced ability to cope with the flu. More importantly, having the flu reduces the ability to fight other diseases, such as bacterial pneumonia.

However, some contend that precisely because seniors' immune systems are weaker, the effectiveness of the vaccine will be weaker, as the vaccine works by stimulating the immune system to fight the flu. Since the immune system is so weak to begin with, the degree of ability to fight the disease may not be high. These critics contend that any claims to the effectiveness of the flu vaccine are biased due to the inclusion in the studies of the many healthy people who are vaccinated—people who would have fought off the flu even without the vaccine.

What Should You Do?

Discuss the issue with your doctor. Even though the vaccine may not be as effective as claimed, it seems to be a safe vaccine that won't endanger you.

For more information on seniors and vaccines, and on other recommended vaccines for seniors, go to:

SAGE: The Science of Aging Research

BC Health Files: Why Seniors Should Get the Influenza Vaccine

Medical News Today

Consumer Affairs: Do Flu Shots Really Help Seniors?

MedHelp: Immunization and Vaccine Forum

Wellness is something we all strive for.

Educating yourselves about vaccines, and discussing your questions with your doctor, should help you make the right decision.

Cheers,
Sheila

Pets need families to love and care for them, and family pets can provide priceless rewards and life lessons for children (and their parents). Pets offer unconditional love and companionship, have been shown to lower blood pressure and stress levels, decreasing the risks of heart disease and easing depression, and pets can teach human beings of all ages about responsibility, discipline, and the demands of caring for another living thing.

However, there are some definite considerations when making the decision to combine kids and pets—regardless of who came first. Check out these resources for more information on all sides of the family pet issue.

Bringing Home Baby
If you already have a dog or cat, be sure to check out the Humane Society's tips on preparing your pet for your family's new addition.

The Scientific American also shows that studies in recent years have proven that children raised with a family pet are less likely to develop allergies, but there are risks associated with having pets around small children that should also be weighed.

With the right mix of preparation and patience, however, you can be sure to keep your baby and your pet safe and happy—and will ensure that all members of your family are enjoying each other's company for years to come.

Preparing for Pets
Every parent will hear pleas for a pet from their kids at some point. The most important thing is to gauge whether or not your kids are ready for a pet first before giving in to their requests.

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry outlines some important caveats on making this decision, and the Best Friends Animal Society provides a fabulous guide to combining pets with kids of every age group.

The American Veterinary Medical Association provides a dozen or so "Petpourri" worksheets on their website to teach children about animals and their needs--especially great for "testing" readiness in young children. (Note: Some worksheets compare animals to food sources and may not be appropriate for vegetarian or vegan households.)

Also, the PBS Kids "Pet-acular" web site can help reinforce kids' pet knowledge and awareness through shows like Clifford and Arthur and other interactive media.

Selecting the Right Pet
Now that you've decided to get a family pet, you have the important task of choosing a pet that's right for your household and your family's lifestyle. Check out the Care.com Family Pet Guide to learn more about the most popular family pets: dogs, cats, and other animals.

Also, the Washington Post wrote an article a few years back on the best "Starter Pets for Kids," which can help simplify your decision (or introduce pets into your family picture in carefully planned phases).

Teaching Kids "The Rules"
OK: you've decided which pet is right for your family, now it's important to teach kids "The Rules." (Important even for children who don't have a family pet but may visit friends who do!)

Both the San Francisco SPCA and the FDA offer great resources for teaching kids about safety around dogs and cats, and for instilling appropriate behavior around animals in general.

FEMA also offers a guide to teach kids (and their parents!) to prepare for the unexpected, with valuable emergency drills and information for securing your pets in the event of a fire, flood, or other natural disaster—good things to incorporate into your family's emergency preparedness plan.

Have a tip or issue regarding kids and pets that you don't see here? Leave a comment so the whole Care.com community can benefit from your experience!

Cheers,
Sheila

Most kids love Halloween, and the evening can be fun for parents, too. It's that special night when we say it's okay for our kids—and us—to indulge in candy. I always look forward to guessing the costumes and identities of the neighborhood children coming to our home and chatting with their parents.

Here are some tips to follow when purchasing or making a Halloween costume to ensure that it won't endanger your child and ruin what should be a happy time:

• Comfort and fit are key. Make sure the costume isn't too long—you don't want your child to trip on it and get hurt. Avoid footwear that comes with costumes, as they often don’t provide proper balance or fit. Also avoid sharp wires that stick out, or any sharp objects, like a knife or stick, that could cause injury to your child if he/she fell on it.

• Tie up loose ends. Since some houses your child visits will probably have candle-lit Jack-o-Lanterns in their doorways, you don’t want anything flowing from your child's arms or neck that may inadvertently catch on fire. Close-fitting costumes without ribbons, bows, or capes are best. Avoid costumes with long scarves or anything long around the neck that could get caught and strangle your child.

• Go green. Avoid costumes that leach dangerous chemicals onto your child. "Soft vinyl products usually contain phthalates, hormone disrupting chemicals that have been linked to reproductive abnormalities and liver cancer," according to The Green Guide from National Geographic. The vinyl can be found in costumes or in wigs and shiny leather-ish belts and boots.

• Bet on safe brands. Avoid costumes that come wrapped in PVC packaging (which can leave phthalate residues on package contents) and are accompanied by a PVC mask. Two safe brands that don't contain these products are Disney and California Costumes, both of which make costumes without masks and without the phthalates. Both brands are available at Toys 'R Us.

• Protect fragile skin. Make-up used for costumes often contains toxins. Read the labels and avoid anything that contains parabens (methyl-, propyl-, ethyl-, butyl-), widely-used as preservatives, [that] act like estrogens and may disrupt normal hormone functions. Also, avoid products containing BHA, Phthalates, Formaldehyde, and kohl (which has been found to have high lead levels). Some brands making safe make-up products are Burt's Bees, Real Purity, Logona, and Aveda, or check your local Whole Foods Beauty Department for additional options.

• Keep kids in plain sight on Fright Night. Brightly colored costumes can be more easily seen by people driving by and so are safer. This point is pretty important, since according to Pamela Pucci , a nurse educator at the University of Michigan Trauma and Burn Center, "children are four and a half times more likely to be hit by a car on Halloween than on any other night during the year." Consider putting reflective tape on the front and back of your child's costume and on their shoes. Also, carrying a flashlight will help your child avoid tripping on steps and uneven terrain, and also enable cars to see him more easily. Avoid costumes that restrict your child's vision. If your child wants to wear a mask, perhaps you can make it yourself out of construction paper, with large and wide openings that don't cover the eyes, nose, mouth, and ears.

With these safety tips in mind, your child should enjoy the trick-or-treating, and you can be sure you haven’t inadvertently exposed him to avoidable dangers. Send us your family Halloween photos at photos@care.com!

For more tips on costume safety, check out:

Sesame Workshop

University of Michigan Medical School News

Have a safe and Happy Halloween this year with your family!

Cheers,
Sheila

I'm so pleased to announce that Care.com has now compiled a nationwide listing of day care centers to take the stress out of searching for different child care options. The Day Care Directory at Care.com provides a listing of day care resources at the local level, searchable by ZIP Code. Featured day cares, already providers with Care.com, provide additional information ranging from qualifications and certifications to current availability and rates.

Try a search today and see what your local area has to offer for day care!

Cheers,

Sheila

PS ~ Also, if you have elderly relatives in your care, please check out The Senior Care Directory at Care.com.

It's hard enough to get yourself ready in the morning and get out the door on time, never mind when there are kids involved. But the more you can get done the night before—and get your kids to do the night before—the easier your mornings will be.

Check out the following resources for more tips on simplifying and better structuring your weekly routines:

Top 10 Morning Madness Tips from About.com

The No-Yelling Morning Routine from Parents.com

Timesaving Tips for Busy Parents from Real Simple Magazine

Have a solution for school day sanity, or a favorite family time-saver? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Cheers,
Sheila

As a parent, life balance means not only finding time for work and family, or your social life and family, but finding alone time with the person who helped you create that family: your husband or wife.

It's no secret that parents have a hard time finding time for romance, and as it turns out, it's just as important for your health as it is for your relationship!

So, without further ado, here are some articles to help you put the sparks back into your life today:

Keeping Romance Alive After Kids Arrive from Babycenter.com

Sex & Relationships Channel from Women's Health Magazine

Keeping Your Sex Life Alive Post-Kids from WebMD

And, don't forget that Care.com can help! Hiring a babysitter for even just an hour or two can be a true life—and relationship—saver.

Have a favorite tip or solution for putting the romance back into your relationship or making time for Date Night? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Cheers,
Sheila