Would you hire a young, inexperienced babysitter? Or if you’re a parent and one of your children wants to babysit, how old should they be?

PBS Parents asked me to be a guest blogger on their regular “Expert Q&A” column. So, last week, I wrote a post about finding summer child care, and then responded to readers’ questions and comments.

One 13-year-old wrote in asking how she could find a babysitting job. She’s too young to list herself on Care.com (for legal reasons, our minimum age is 17). Since she’s just in her early teens and new to babysitting, I suggested she check out her local American Red Cross chapter. They offer great First Aid/safety training classes for 11- to 15-year-old sitters who are just getting started.

The key thing for younger babysitters is to try and receive training early on. That way, they’ll be better prepared for a caregiving role and have the know-how for handling emergency situations. The Red Cross courses are even great training exercises for your older children, if you sometimes leave them alone with their younger siblings, so you might want to look into them for your own family, too!

So, what do you think? Would you be interested in hiring a young sitter like Alysha who wrote into my post at PBS Parents? Or do you have a minimum age for babysitters? Let the Care.com community know with a comment!

Last year, I wrote a post asking the Care.com community if they would hire a manny (a male nanny). The response was overwhelming! The discussion is still going back and forth in the comments. Since it's still such a hot-button issue, I wanted to hear the story from the manny himself.

We talked with Zach B.—a real-life manny from Mukilteo, Washington. Zach was a full-time caregiver for three children (two boys and a girl), has since graduated college, had more experience in child care, and is now looking for another manny position. He took time from the job hunt to talk with us about being a manny and the difficulties he's run into finding another job.

Tell us about yourself.
"I'm 24 years old, married, and from Mukilteo, Washington. I like being around children. I'm a real goofy guy, real energetic. And I love to get down and play with the kids!"

What's your experience as a manny?
"I worked for six months as a manny for a family with two deaf boys (ages 4 and 8) and a hearing daughter (11). It was right before I went to college. I handled a lot of caretaking activities. I used to pack their lunches and take them out to the park. We did a lot of together. It was fun because I built a relationship with the kids. I just loved the whole experience."

What was it like working with two children with special needs?
"I got to practice my American Sign Language. It's a valuable tool for working with kids, whether they're deaf or not. Kids just naturally learn visually before they learn a lot of their speaking skills…

The biggest challenge was conflict negotiation. Kids fight a lot… People say, "Oh, child care's so easy. You just take them out and watch them." But it's not. It's a lot more than that. When that single toy or that last M&M in the bag is the most important thing in their lives, you have to think of creative ways to make them think about it differently."

What training did you have?
"It was my first child care job, so there was a lot of learn-as-you-go. My mom did aerobics and had child care facilities available around the studio and I helped out. So, growing up, I had a lot of child care experience… I just kind of had to act like myself. To tell you the truth, there was no official training. I just tried to be responsible, show up on time, be a good role model, and keep the kids safe…

Since then (after college), I've been a teen center coordinator. We had a day care there, so I worked with kids from age 7-17, so I have a large amount of experience with kids. I also teach high school marching band."

As a manny, is it easier to connect boys or girls?
"I definitely could play a little bit harder with the boys. I feel like they saw me as a mentor or a cool buddy—an "Uncle Zach" sort of thing. I definitely connected with them really well.

The daughter definitely looked up to me and gave me a lot of respect, and I connected with her, too. She was more of a helper with the other kids, translating sign language sometimes.

Personally, I haven't had the experience of not connecting with a female child. You just need the chance to do it. Once I get in there and kids realize I'm just a goofy guy, we connect—it doesn't matter what gender."

What's the advantage of hiring a male caregiver?
"Guys can play harder with the kids. They can be goofier and more fun. Kids want to be able to see eye-to-eye with you, but also see you as a leader, and I think guys are just more rough and authentic like that. They can have that kind of get-your-fingernails-dirty fun on the playground.

Guys also offer a little extra protection. There's a level of added safety, especially with a single mother or in the case of a father who travels a lot... Men can fill that raw need for a male role model and the rough-and-tumble aspect."

Is it harder to find child care jobs as a guy?
"I put together a good resume and cover letter. I've gotten about three or four responses back where people have said, 'Hey, Zach, you look like a really qualified manny—you seem like a great fit. I'm sure somebody will find you in the future, but we're looking for a female.'

A lot of mothers and fathers have a stigma about a man watching a six-year-old daughter—he must be a bad person. I can see both sides of the fence, I really can, but I know my perspective and that's absurd—very small percentages of the population are criminals or like that. To have every guy make you feel uncomfortable is just kind of frustrating.

To put it in perspective, my wife is looking for work. She put up an ad for a part-time nanny job and she had an interview the very next day. I'm like, "Really? How is that possible?" It boggles my mind since I've been trying for a month now. It's tough."

Will you keep looking for a manny job?
"To be honest, I just want to be around youth—that's my passion. I don't fit into the business environment where people are just really stale. That's where I'm at now and I don't fit in at all. I'm looking for somewhere where I can get out, have a flexible schedule, and have activities going on."

We've heard from Zach, now let's let the conversation get started! What do you think? Would you hire a manny? Post a comment below and share your thoughts.

Now that Adam is getting older (it's hard to believe the little guy is already 8!), we're starting to think about summer camps. Yes, we're still in the middle of the school year, snow surrounds Care HQ, and we haven't yet hit Valentine's Day, but it's not too early to start summer planning. The application deadlines for many camps are just around the corner. Has your family started its summer camp plans?

This would be Adam's first time at camp. And while he's growing up fast, he might not be ready to spend so much time away from home yet. Ron and I are talking about it, though, and we've come up with discussion points you might find helpful if you're thinking of sending your child to summer camp.

Age-appropriate
The big question is always, "How old is old enough?" But there isn't a magic age limit when it comes to summer camps—every child is different. Before you book a camp for you son or daughter, make sure they're already experienced with staying away from home (on sleepovers with friends and relatives). If they're not, try sending them to a day camp, so they don't have to spend the night away from home.

Summer camps can be great places to start life-long friendships, which is one of the reasons kids love going. But if your son or daughter is a wallflower, sending them to camp isn't going to change that alone. Some kids take more time to open up. Wait another year until they're better prepared to socialize and meet new people.

You also have to figure out if you, as parents, are "old enough." Letting your child spend a week or two away from home is a big step! You might not be ready yet, so discuss it as a family beforehand. Remember…there's always next year!

Type of Camps
Music, art, theater, writing, athletics, language, politics, health—if your child has a particular talent or hobby, there's probably a summer camp for it. There's so many out there. I've written before about summer sports camps. There are also a wide variety of special needs summer camps for kids with disabilities and their families.

Make sure your child is more excited about the camp experience than you are. They shouldn't feel like they're being forced to go away. Summer camp isn't prison, so if your little guy doesn't want to play the tuba for a week, don't send him to band camp. Pick a different option that you both agree on.

First-timers
If possible, send your first-time campers along with a close friend or sibling. It's great to have a friendly face in the crowd, even if they're not bunking together.

Most places let potential campers take a tour with their families. If you're looking at camps in your area, stop by to see the facilities and meet with counselors. If you're meeting with staffers, this Care.com article has a list of questions to ask about summer camps—it's geared towards families with children who have special needs, but the questions apply to anyone looking for a safe place for their kids.

Care Concerns
If you have a full-time nanny or a regular babysitter, make sure they know you're thinking about sending your children to summer camp. Then they can plan out their own summertime schedules (and maybe even take a well-deserved vacation). Even day camps are a good way to give your caregivers a break.

If you're looking into camps that teach kids special skills, but your child isn't ready to be away from home, why not consider hiring tutors or teachers to give private, summertime lessons instead? It's a cost-effective option that doesn't put any added stress on our younger children who aren't ready to spend a week away from home.

Adam, my little guy, may not be ready for a camp this year. But I have a feeling we'll be sending him to a sports-related summer camp soon enough. He played his first season of Pop Warner football in the fall and loved it. Once he's a little older, we'll talk more about summer camps. For now, I hope these conversation topics have been helpful for your own family.

Let me know what you think—how do you know when your kids are ready for summer camp? Leave a comment below!

Sheriffs recently arrested a babysitter in Sarasota, Florida on charges of lewd and lascivious conduct toward one of his young clients. We spotted the story in the office and I wanted to make sure I shared tips on sitter safety. When it comes to our kids, you can never be too careful! Here's what you need to know to make sure you hire a caregiver that's trustworthy and will protect your children.

Insist on an interview
This should go without saying, but you always want to meet potential babysitters before you hire them. If you can, don't set up the first meeting at your house and don't have your children present—get together at a neutral site like a café or bookstore, instead.

If you like them after one interview, then it's okay to bring your kids into the process. Have them talk with the potential sitters before they start work. It'll help your children get to know them and you can get great feedback from your kids—they're very perceptive.

Do your homework
Care.com Premium Members have access to free background checks when they research caregivers. But don't stop there—if you're looking at a sitter's profile, check their references, too. You'll want to know what other families and past employers have to say.

If the sitter doesn't list references, don't skip this step—ask them! Someone who is well qualified and safe will have nothing to hide. Check and make sure their references give glowing recommendations. Ask tough questions, too, to see if they suggest areas of improvement for your potential babysitter. If you still have doubts after talking to their old employers, keep looking until you find the right person.

Trust your instincts
You might still be worried after you've had face-to-face interviews and have checked all the references. Maybe you can't put your finger on it, but you're just not completely comfortable. If that's the case, then trust your own instincts. Wait to find a caregiver until you are totally, 100% comfortable with your decision.

Trust your children, too. If you find your children regularly get upset, angry, or afraid of being left with a babysitter, then listen to them. Most kids naturally miss Mom and Dad, at first, but if their emotions go beyond, you may want to consider finding another caregiver—one you and your children are comfortable with. If your kids are older, have regular conversations with them about how things are going with their caregivers. They'll appreciate knowing you're open and easy to talk to.

After you hire a sitter
The need to run safety checks doesn’t end as soon as your new babysitter starts. It's our responsibility as parents to keep making sure that our children are safe. You may want to return home unannounced or earlier than planned from time to time, so you can see the sitter interacting with your kids when they're not expecting you. Have your neighbors keep their eye out for anything out of the ordinary, too.

Your search for care isn't something to take lightly. When you're looking to hire a babysitter—or any caregiver—take the time to really get to know the person you're putting in charge of your children. Check their references and work history. And if something doesn't feel right, keep looking. Our children are depending on us to keep them safe.

Like every couple, Ron and I have different styles when it comes to child-rearing. Sometimes, we have small arguments over how to care for Adam. But no matter how angry we get, we never could "dismiss" each other from child care duties like you can with a nanny or a sitter.

Unfortunately, there do come times when you have to make a caregiver change. If you're worried about firing a sitter or a nanny, I've put together some tips to smooth over the transition. Firing someone is never easy—especially if you use relatives as caregivers!

Firing Your Spouse
All right, so you can't actually hand your partner a pink slip. So you have to do your best to work out your differences and give your kids a united front when it comes to child care.

Moms and dads argue about how to raise their kids—it's inevitable. We come from different backgrounds and habits and won't always on the same page while raising our children. No matter the differences, it's important to communicate when it comes to your child care responsibilities. If you're having trouble finding a middle ground, take time to talk. Both parents should try to compromise while putting together the household rules and support the other when it's time to enforce them. Remember, you're a team!

Get your caregivers involved in the conversation, too. Just because you're not around when your kids are with their nanny or sitter doesn't mean they can behave differently. Check out this Care.com article for more information about consistent child care.

Firing Your Family
Using relatives and close friends as caregivers can be a great experience. It helps your kids feel connected, you have trusting relationships already in place, and relatives are often flexible with their hours and salary ("free" works!). Sometimes problems come up, though, and you have to let them go.

Maybe they have different opinions on discipline. It could even be for heath reasons (kids tend to gain weight under a grandparent's care, for instance). Or perhaps an aunt or uncle just isn't handling the responsibility as well as you'd like.

Again, communication is key. Talk to your family member and explain why you're not fully satisfied with their work as a sitter while emphasizing how grateful you are for their time, effort, and sacrifice. If you've already talked with them several times about the same issue, it's time to move on. Let them down gently, but try to keep them involved in family activities, if at all possible.

Firing a Babysitter or a Nanny
Research shows that children can suffer long-term health effects when their caregiver relationships are stressful. If a babysitter or a nanny isn't working out, don't hesitate to make a change—your kids could be at risk.

If you've employed the caregiver for a short time, it's best to severe connections swiftly. Let your kids know you'll be making a change and tell the nanny that you have to let her go immediately. If at all possible, have that conversation away from your house and without your kids present.

Cutting ties with a long-term caregiver can be a more difficult and emotional process. But if significant, unresolved problems reoccur, you need to let her go. However, you might want to begin phasing in a new nanny or sitter before completely ending things with your current one. A short transition period can make things easier on your kids—they'll get to know their new caregiver while still having the security of their old one—but it all depends on the reasons for the firing. However you choose to handle the situation, make sure to keep your children's best interest in mind. They're the ones directly affected by your decision, and it's up to you to protect them.

We've put together a great article on transitioning to a new caregiver. You'll find it useful if you have to fire a nanny, make a switch to or from day care, or are adding a new babysitter to your list of regulars.

If you do have to make a caregiver change, I don't envy you. These situations are always difficult. But, no matter what, we have to do what's best for our kids. If you've had to fire a caregiver in the past, how did you handle it? Leave a comment to let me know and share your advice with others.