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June 23, 2016

Comments

Marie

Life is tough and very competitive .
The sooner kids learn that concept the better chance they have in life.

JC Parker

You're nuts smh

Chris Storms

They don't hand out participation trophies in life, so yes, it's critical to teach your child to work hard, play hard, and compete with 100% of what they have to give, but ethically and compassionately. I don't have any answers on how best to do this, my boy is only 2 1/2 and we've got twin boys on the way, but I'll do everything I can to teach them how to win honorably.

Sarah

I think both types of kids have what they need to succeed in life, and it's not competitiveness or joy fullness, it's a parent's love💗 Kids need a parent who recognizes their strengths and parents toward that strength!

Tom Bartlett

I think stifling the competitive drive is wrong. Yes there will be disappointments with losses, but are there not disappointments in life? It's teaching your child to deal with both the wins and losses. I was brought up to win with humility, and learn from a loss, which I will admit there was a lot of for me. I was not a superstar athlete, but that didn't stop me from going out and trying my hardest, and pushing myself to be the best. To me a loss (or now as an adult: a failed interview, being let go from a job, etc.) are opportunities for me to learn and grow as a person. To do better the next time. I have a two year old daughter, and I know I will be bringing her up in regards to this topic the same way I was brought up. If I didn't have my competitive drive, I would not be in the position I am today. I have a job that I like going into and I have the opportunity to move up if I work for it.

Now all that being said, yes there are going to be kids who just don't want to play sports. But, just because they don't play sports does not mean they can not be competitive. Besides playing sports, I also played an instrument. There was competition there too! In concert band, you are seated based on your abilities and how good you are. The better you were, the closer to the front you sat. In high school, you had the opportunity to try out for county band against other kids in other school districts in your county. If you made county band, you had the opportunity to try out for district, then state band if you made districts, and then regional band if you made states. It was competition after competition. Even school itself is a competition. In elementary and Middle school, you competed with your friends to see who got the better grade. In High school it was competing for the highest GPA among your class, and competing to get into college. In college, it is competing against all other college students to stand out with your grades, with internships, and other extra curricular activities so at the end of it all you can compete for a job. Competition goes way beyond sports, and our society fosters that competition every day. You want that job, you need to compete for it. You want that promotion, you need to compete for it. Even those kids, teens, and adults who know what it is they need to make themselves happy, will one day need to compete for that happiness. That's society, That's life.

Amy Ingram

Growing up, I was the elite athlete AND the "daisy picker". My ADHD brain craved constant kinetic energy to be used. I was, and gratefully am to this day, Blessed with a great deal of kinetic, academic, and interpersonal intelligence. As my Blessings in life accrued, and I was entrusted by God to birth 4 of His cherub souls to guide wisely into His Love; it came naturally to me to treat each of my little people according to their unique personality "fingerprint". It has just never occured to me to treat them all any differently. Duh me. But I rather fancy simplicity, candor, patience, kindness, and a gentle and soft word where ever / whenever possible. All my Blessings are to be passed to my children....including those words of wisdom passed down to me by God and my Earth family elders.
TO ALL. CAREGIVERS OF CHILDREN :
Please fear not what ur instincts guide u about ur bambinos/ bambinas....

Tony

A competitive spirit should be nurtured, competition is what drives all things in the real world. This includes dating, marketing, commerce, persuasion, and much more. When the rewards for non-competition are on par with the rewards for competition, it sends a message: Don't compete, everything is handed to you.

About halfway through my juvenile life, children were suddenly being taught that competition was bad. Competing was bad. It hurt feelings, it left someone out. Among competitions that were bad were debates, commercial practices, sports, opinions, and so on.

The result? Look at younger millennials. They suffer a nuclear meltdown at the slightest challenge to their predetermined dogmatic world views based on utopian myths. They don't want to compete, they don't want to take risks. They'd rather demand someone competes on their behalf.

There's a social dysfunction that comes with non competition. The accommodations of a lifestyle befitting a modern human aren't possible without competition. How do these kids date? How do they get hired? How do they become tomorrows innovators and entrepreneurs? How do they choose what products they like? This generation is the result of fostering non-competition, and there's much to be concerned about.

Laura Burns

I appreciate your article very much, except for your conclusion. I disagree with it whole-heartedly. Life is not about finding what inspires you and makes you happy. That sounds punchy and upbeat, but it is a lie. Parents who raise their kids with the end goal being their "happiness" will rear children who are self-centered, selfish and constantly seeking that elusive state...because it does not last and it is not fulfilling. For an alternative view, check out Dr Dobson's parenting books. Or read the New Testament. I truly enjoyed the beginning and the middle of your essay!

Linda Muralidharan

I sure think a balance is called for. My son is very coordinated and was good at the various sports up through a certain level in high school at which point he rebelled against the macho, locker room mentality of the football team and switched to tennis. Ever since in college and to this day at age 50 he played intramural and amateur sports. Soft ball today.

He is the Small Business Administrator for the Port of Long Beach and competent at what he does and pretty well paid.. He might have more affluence if he were more competitive but what he is, is competitive with himself so that he is consistently doing his own best. He is politically active and a feminist and a pretty happy and very well liked person. My daughter came in on the tail end of girls' having no leagues of their own but played varsity soccer in high school and then was score keeper for the baseball team. Today she is a school teacher and probably would be a school principal if she did not have certain issues some of which relate to self-esteem. Her problems have nothing to do with being competitive, then or now.

I encouraged them to do what was reasonable and enjoyable for themselves so long as they were consistent and responsible to teammates, Brownie leaders or whatever. We do love sports and follow several professional teams but in our lives we are socially and politically active, responsible taxpayers , and people who like to have a good time. We like to win but we have other values also. Did I say balance?

Audrey

My oldest son is definitely the competitive personality and my second son is more of a non-competitive spirit. I don't look at either personality as better than the other as we are all so different. As parents I feel that our job is to help each individual child develop and learn how to handle what life throws at them. I see a lot of positives in both personalities that will help them succeed and areas that they will have to learn how to overcome. Their approach will be different and the way they will cope with things and even what may cause them disappointment will be different. As someone who manages people I also see how important it is to help employees play to their strengths and work to minimize areas that are a challenge. With such a variety of adult vocations we need a variety of personalities.

Tommy

Everyone is unique. That is called diversity. While we need to nurture a child's strengths, we also need to guide them in working on their weaknesses. The past generation has been so into improving a child's self esteem, we have forgotten to teach them about life and how to succeed. In today's workplace, the new entrants do not have a desire to succeed and believe showing up is good enough. They have been taught rewards come for showing up. They do not have a true competitive spirit. They do not understand you need to work hard and contribute, not just show up, to be successful.

My oldest son did not like sports when he was young. We tried various sports and it was just not him. So we still worked on his competitive nature in other ways. Academics, games, computers, etc. When he was in the 11th grade, he decided it was time to take on sports and successfully made the varsity football team. It was hard for him starting that late, but every day he gave his best and tried to improve. As a senior he won the NFL Athlete Scholar award and has not played since. Today he is a computer engineer and holds an executive position at the age of 35. He will tell you is was his competitive nature, honesty and work ethic that got him there. He understood he needed to win with humility and lose with dignity.

So, nurture you child's strengths, help them recognize and improve upon their weaknesses and teach them winning takes many forms, but only comes when you do your best and try to improve upon your best. We sometimes place too much emphasis on Athletics as being the only competitive opportunity. Competition is best nurtured when you are competing against yourself. Constantly challenging yourself to do better and being successful at being better.

Success in life comes in many forms, but just being a passenger or spectator are not among them. Daydreamers can become great novelists or theorists, but need encouragement to apply their daydreaming, not just encouragement to be a better daydreamer.

Why does name matter

Now a days, in order to be liked, you have clean everybody's mess! Otherwise people will come and do their best to mess you up!!
If you are competent, it does not matter. Socialism is at its peak in this country and it is spreading faster than anything!

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