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February 25, 2016

Comments

Tiffaney

Love this. I'm currently a woman entrepreneur and I have one child as a single mother and I agree it's been pretty crazy at times trying to do it all.

Barbara Giuliano

Thank you for saying so much about "having it all" and who loses while one follows their own particular desires, needs, and wants. All of which seems an endless, futile attempt to have 'more, better, and different"..

To me "all about self-interest" divides, rather than includes 'IT ALL".

Living for a world about "justice for all" seems to be the most satisfying, fulfilling, and noble pursuit for all of us mothers, grandmothers, and in my case great grand mothers.

After all, life is very personal, isn't it? It's funny that way, thank God (being loving wins)

Alice Hori

Keep in mind that whenever working mothers are subsidized via paid maternity leave and other perquisites, families with stay at home mothers pay higher prices at the check-out stand. The more money thrown at the problem, the greater consumer prices will be, the more women will need to work, etc. etc. Those who wish to stay at home already live a counter culture existence. We live in less expensive neighborhoods, often homeschool if the schools there aren't great, shop at thrift shops, forego expensive vacations, all the while thinking that really, from a worldwide, or historical perspective, we've got it great. If you want to stay home with your children, you will have to avoid modern consumerism, think outside the box, and be self-confident in your choices. But you will also have time to make your mark by volunteering at church, at school, and in community projects. Your children will enjoy the ritual of a family meal each night and you won't need to constantly negotiate schedules with your husband. It isn't for everyone but it is certainly possible.

Heather P.

Thank you for sharing this. I always thought it was my fault that I could not figure out how to work 40+ hours a week, help with homework, make dinner, exercise, get kids off to school and daycare, worry about whether they get sick and having to take a day or two off, taking time for my spouse, yard work, cleaning, etc. I felt it was a treadmill I could not get off. I've often thought it is a societal problem that we are not ready to address. If we want women to work, we cannot expect them to work and do the brunt of childcare at home too. Two full-time jobs is not logical. I felt set up for failure.

Ericka

Thank you so much for posting about this issue. I am about to turn forty. I left my career as an administrator in education to move to a less expensive area and to stay home and care for my one and three year old. We are fortunate enough that my husband is able to work and support our family. I have never been happier in my life. I tried to "have it all". Even with paid benefits, maternity leave, and an semi-supportive employer, I was miserable. I even became physically ill and was unable to work for two months. I was paid very little (disability-which is NOT enough to live on) during that time since my paid leave had already been used up for maternity leave. There was not enough time with my husband, my young children, and I was constantly torn between my responsibilities at work (which I love and am very passionate about) and at home (which I also love and am passionate about).
I want to underscore the importance of women understanding their critical importance and power in American society. We may not all have the exact same experiences in life, but we all want what is best for our children and their future. We must support political candidates that are supportive and actively working on drastically improving the status quo. Women must also show a united front. We must all speak up and put our foot down when we feel that we are not being provided with enough support from society to do our jobs well, take good care of ourselves, and provide a loving and nurturing home for our children. Everyone will be better off if we do so.

Kristy Skadow

When this blog post popped into my email, I was literally calculating child care expenses on my phone and thinking about how to talk to my boss about cutting back my working hours simply because I cant afford to work and pay for child care. Hoping and praying he doesnt tell me to find another job. More importantly, my husband and I dont want to put our almost four year old in full time day care. Now that my husband has a full time opportunity that pays more than my full time job, does that mean I now have to either go to part time at my job or go back to freelancing? My head is spinning. My husband and I have both been in the position of being the only bread winner and that doesnt work either, for us. It's too much pressure for one person, in my opinion. I am constantly looking at how we can cut back cut back cut back but it never seems like its enough. We do feel good about the amount of time we spend together as a family. That certainly outweighs the pressures to pay bills and the selfish wants and ambitions. This time is presious with our children. It'll all work out.

Foram Shah

Wow! Nicely written. I can feel the frustration american women are facing today! We need a lady elected candidate who cares about these issues and wants to bring the change. but I am with you.

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