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March 24, 2014

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Comments

Nina

I'm with Matt here. And I have a 4 yr old girl. If I can hear effort whether it's talking, yelling or even spanking, my mind will be at ease. But if the parent is just sitting there not doing anything, I'm gonna want to punch the parent. Hey that's just how I feel.

Nina

Oh sorry I forgot this is about babies, not toddlers. I'm still with Matt here haha

Carole

Honestly, I sympathize with both... no one is at their best when they lack sleep, and parents know what they are in for with an infant, unlike the unsuspecting neighbors. The right thing to do for the parents would have been to go to the lobby with their little one until she fell asleep; and to leave apology notes the next day to surrounding room (maybe also buy them breakfast on their tab or some other gesture). They stated she was usually a good sleeper.. hmm.. maybe, but I had a good sleeper and he never did that (even when teething) and that's what infant tylenol and teething pills are for. Perhaps next time, a cabin would be more appropriate.
I didn't think the letter was that nasty for people who were, after all, sleep deprived too, and who had no idea what was coming to them. A more productive way would have been to call hte manager and have a change of room the next day or have the manager call the parents' room to see if they needed a doctor (that should signal to them that people were bothered by the noise). But I also agree with the people who said that crying babies are not the only sources of noises in hotels: frat boys, teenagers, etc, etc. Should these be banned too? I don't think so.

Carole

I also want to add that just because someone is a parent, it does not necessarily make them more tolerant to the noise produced by other children: yes, we understand, but we also did 'our time' and don't necessarily want to be bothered on our adult vacation, and if we worked hard to control a child's behavior in such circumstances (when possible) or made different arrangements to avoid bothering other people, then we feel like these parents should have too.

Kellie

This is why we travel with sound machines. It blocks out the noise we make as well as other noises.

rachel

As an army wife and frequent traveler as a result I can't imagine not having my children welcome in a hotel are some places like that 300 dollar a night boutique hotel probably not the best place for them sure (and I wouldn't stay there with them) however other patrons have to understand babies are unpredictable at best and traveling is hard on everyone under the best circumstances.

Lisa Barney

I agree with Matt completely! We need to be more considerate of this around us.

Shawna

I agree with both points of view....but I think we'd all do wisely to keep both the golden rule and this bit of wisdom in mind:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle that you know nothing about."

Ree

I think that parents need to be aware of their surroundings. Think twice about where you are going with the baby and the atmosphere of which you are in. I am a mother of a 4 month old so I understand wanting to spend time with yhe child. But I also remember what it was like when I didn't have a baby. If I were at a nice quiet place and there was a crying baby, I would get irritated and think why do they have a baby with them. Now that I'm a mother, I I definitely try to be considerate of those around me.

John Parks

Whether it's your child or not babies are a fact of everyday life, we need them and they need us. I didn't take my little lady out for 10 weeks. As for a hotel, well that's just too bad, sort of like being on a plane. The world does not revolve around my comfort level, my likes and dislikes. I agree with Matt regarding parents that just do nothing and everyone else has to listen to the screaming. As a parent it is your duty to sooth a crying baby. I have a 30 second rule, if I can't sooth my daughter in 30 seconds I leave until I can. If it continues I pay the bill and leave, however, not in a hotel nor a plane. This issue sounds like that hotel needs to invest in better insulation and thicker walls

Red devil

I am a mother of now grown-up sons. If either of my sons cried in a hotel room or restaurant, I would have taken them away to a quieter place. If I miss my meal or my sleep, so be it. The other people deserve peace and quiet. Can I suggest that families with small babies be put in a few special rooms in a hotel so the rest of the hotel can sleep. Of course, if your baby continues to cry, take him/her away to calm down.

Sir Trotter

The hotels could have a few rooms better placed for family's with small children, away from the main stream. After all, we all don't want to pay for a stay away or a meal in a restaurant to be for tortured by other peoples kids. Unless it's a child's resort like Disney, then you have to expect it. But in general the parents of small children need to take responablity for there offspring.

Jen

It's a tough thing to say in any situation what someone should do. Until we a ourselves are in the exact situation, we should not speak of another's choice. I am a mother and prior to having my own children, was very aware not to comment on another's parenting. I have traveled with my children as young as 6months old. That said the choices of my travel and where my family stays are different then times BC (before children). That is my own choice. Babies cry quite honestly so do adults. We can argue that this family should not have taken their baby with them; however, it seems to me the adults were "crying" as well when they put a note under the parents door. And their tears were quite passive. I know what I would have done in my travel...none of which would have included letter

Nickel D.

This story takes place at a ski resort. As a family vacation spot, this is the place least likely to include baby-friendly family activity. This would be a great time to leave that infant with grandma and grandpa or others. It's completely unfair to other patrons who are also on vacation to make them out to be the bad guys when they deserve to get some sleep as much as anyone else. I appreciate that parents are sleep deprived, and that it's hard on a family, but that's completely unfair to strangers.

Michele

What is this with treating babies like they're some foreign oddity that people know nothing about? And what's with apologizing for them? While yes, there are things that parents could and should do to help their babies and the people around to have a quiet night, stuff happens. We are none of us immune to it. No matter what a hotel might guarantee, life offers none when it comes to having a perfectly comfortable existence. I am reminded of a couple who, on traveling with their infants, wrote notes and gave out little bags with stuff to help all the other passengers on the plane if their little ones lost it. Forget that. All any reasonable person needs to know is that the parents are trying to help their infants, to soothe and comfort and, hopefully, quiet them. Nothing else is needed. Life hands us all kinds of stuff; we all need to learn to handle it gracefully.

Diane

If they are going to BAN human babies from hotels why not start with banning dogs and people who tend to blast pop music and think it is wonderful and everyone just loves to wake up in the night to groove to the beat. How about putting the normal people who have children on a different floor/wing of the hotel/motel.

Evelyn

I love Gina's take. I have brought my child everywhere with me from the time she was four months old. I have always been conscious of the times when I thought she might disturb others and took appropriate action. In our travels, we have been awakened by noisy guest slamming doors, loud gatherings of adults- obviously drunk, families with teenagers arguing loudly, blasting tv from the room next door. Before anyone ever points their fingers at a new parent and criticisms- they ought to answer one simple question. Have I ever engaged in ANY behavior at a hotel that another person might find objectionable? Have I talked loudly on the phone? Yelled to my spouse while (s)he was in the bathroom? Plate the tv too loud? Let the door slam? I bet you would think twice about that complaint!

AnnaLCDC

Well we better ban toddlers or loud talking middle schoolers or families with more than one child too because they are louder, oh and also no more having sex in hotels, or anyone with a cold that involves a cough should be banned too, or a loud talker or night time tv watchers too. Seriously, don't go places if you don't like to be inconvenienced by other people. Also, earplugs are in my travel toiletry case at all times - worry about yourself is my point. I especially like the post about it being ok if the kid is being spanked because then the parents are at least trying to make them quiet. Good Lord.

Just Jenn

Personally, I think this entire topic is silly. For decades, better hotels have had women only and business only floors. Recent movements with pets now show clearly marked "pet friendly" floors. Don't think for a minute, that most hotels don't already align people up as best they can. Why else do you think you're required to fill in so much information about who's staying and what age they are? I say buyer beware. If you don't plan ahead and reserve, if you don't ask at the front desk, and if you aren't willing to pay for a room, even at the most basic of chains... then get over yourself. And lighten up. Life happens. Some of the best stories we tell our friends and kids are when things go horrible against what we envisioned in our heads as "the plan".

Nonya Biznexd

Should we really be discussing this....the only place where you should be able to guarantee peace and quiet is in your PERSONAL home....when you are in a PUBLIC facility such as this, there are no guarantees....forbid babies from hotels....absolutely ridiculous.....they have the right to go where ever their parents go.. What's next, forbid them from planes, trains, grocery stores, the malls, etc.... If it's a problem for you then request a room far away from the rest of the humans in advance or get your butt out of bed go down to the lobby explain the situation and ask for another room.... Problem solved....

Experienced Traveler

There are worse things to listen to than a crying child
such as fighting couples, loud occupants or tvs, gun fire, emergency vehicles, planes, trains, airplanes and so forth.

If you are going to travel and prefer not to be bothered by noise from another room, other outside sources or parties in your own room, why not invest in a good pair of ear plugs? Be sure to take tolerance, patience, and forgiveness with you on your trip. Chances are that you will need them all.

Jess

The parents should have taken the crying baby to the hotel lobby? Seriously, Matt? A brightly lit public space? Would you like to try to sleep in a hotel lobby? That's the most absurd thing I've heard in a while. A restaurant is one thing, and I agree that the best plan is divide and conquer there, but a hotel room is different, and frankly if they had taken the offending infant to the lobby, the mom would probably have caught crap from some other hotel patron for perhaps trying to breast feed the child in a public space.

MCIMama

If you don't want to deal with other folks' issues/problems maybe you should choose a Netjet membership and your own second home or a rental. I have kids now, but have been just as disturbed before the kids in 5 star properties by drunk folks, hearing headboards banging against the wall, yelling, coughing, puking, crying, etc. No one item is worse than the other in my opinion. What is this would've been some medical issue such as a seizure with an older child? Or a sudden onset of asthma if it would've been coughing. Yeah, take the ill person to the lobby - they'll be much more comfortable down there. The neighbors don't know if a person in that room is challenged in some way or not. As I learned in the pre-kid days, buy a set of Bose noise cancelling headphones for the plane and a noise machine for the hotel.

Kristina

I am a mother of a 10 month old and I understand that crying babies can be annoying to a lot of people around especially when they are trying to relax and enjoy themselves. But giving grief to parents about their child crying is just wrong. Bottom line if you would like complete peace and quite go to an adults only resort, that's why those were created!

Ruth

Sometimes it's not feasible for a parent to go to the lobby with a child. The best thing for some children (mine included) is to keep them near their bed. Yes, I understand the neighbor being annoyed, but people need to remember that babies are people too. I've been more annoyed by someones kindergartener or teenager than I have babies. Stayed in a hotel and had a teenager intentionally be loud just to try and get a rise out of me. Babies should not be banned from anywhere.

Loraine

Babies should only be allowed in stables behind inns. That's in the Bible.

Crystal

As a mother of a now 18 month old and a 12 year old I have started all over. I can honestly say when my eldest got to the age where he was out of tantrums and crying fits I would get annoyed when I was somewhere where there were babies crying uncontrollably and parents were seemingly doing nothing. I of course have much more empathy now that I'm back In the situation myself. There are times when parents have no chose but to stay in a hotel. I was in a situation recently where our power was out at home due to a storm and we had no chose but get a hotel to stay warm. There are a few things to keep in mind. Choose a family friendly hotel where there are likely to be other families instead of an upscale place. I have also learned a lot of hotels and restaurants have sections they try to place families. I always ask if they have a room without neighbors or one by other families. That room with young babies is far more likely to understand hearing a crying baby. I also have my stroller with me and if it came down to it I would take mine for a walk outside or down the halls to help soothe them. I also like to find a hotel with an indoor swimming
pool something about a swim before bed always puts kids to sleep! I also always ask for ear plugs when at a hotel because you never know when you might need them!
Bottom line everyone needs to be more understanding of one another. The note was uncalled for and that person could have easily requested a different room.

cc

As a parent, It's difficult having a crying baby, it is hard when it is your child crying and you don't know what is wrong with them. This parent seems to be getting criticized for doing what good parents do, being completely focused on what is in the best interest of the child.
When I have the rare opportunity to travel without my children, it is sometimes difficult to have to deal with the disturbances of other people's children but I have a secret weapon, on a plane bring head phones and in a hotel room earplugs. Take ownership for your intolerance so you don't fall prey so you don't make absurd suggestions like choose between the inconvienience of a stranger in a neighboring room and an opportunity for your family to have more quality family time.

Diane

This, to me, is very simple. If you choose to stay in a family-friendly resort, you take the risk that you may have noisy children in your neighboring room. If that's not a risk you want to take, then stay in an adult-only resort. Now, I certainly expect more considerate behavior from older children, and parents need to manage the situation the best they can; but to suggest any family should travel without their kids is frankly none of anyone else's business. If the level of noise is beyond what you consider reasonable, then call the front desk, just like you would for a noisy adult next door.

Liz

In this situation no one really knows what the parents were doing to console the baby however after a while one would think they might go for a drive or even a walk as Matt suggested.

My husband and I once drove home from a hotel at 3am for 3 hours since our son woke up our 11 month old and she would not go back to sleep. We were at a hotel for a family funeral. After two hours we just gave up and packed the kids in the car and drove home. I understand sometimes that isn't an option but as a mother of three kids under 5 who travels frequently including plane travel 6+ hours you need to have some solutions prepared for any situation. Also removing a baby from the current space always helped my kids.

Either way the note was uncalled for. The neighboring guests should have called the front desk to explain it was really affecting their stay.

carolynbunch

i think babies should be allowed in a hotel too

Rose

As a mother of a 9 mo old, I understand that listening to a crying baby is not fun, for anyone, but I think we need to support one another. I know babies are unpredictable, but should that mean that parents of young children not be allowed in public places?? I'm guessing the people that wrote the letter didn't have children or if they did they must have been blessed with perfect children who never raised a fuss in a public place. Despite some of my best efforts, there have been times, even in our own home, that i haven't been able to soothe my son. I sympathize with the parents here, because chances are they were trying their best to calm their baby, and not just letting it cry.

Tricia

I think that the hotel should have a designated room/ area for people with children. I know that most of the time when I'm staying at a hotel it's for work And I need my sleep and quiet time. I also think the letter was a little too forward and uncalled for. If it was me I would have asked For my room to be switched. I do believe that people with children should be respectful of the other guest in the hotel and try to keep the noise down if possible.

Terrie

I would never EVER speak to the neighbors in another room. Not being able to sleep is NOT their problem, its mine. I would softly walk to the front desk and ask for another room. But guess what in my 56 years I have never asked for a different room because of my neighbors.
Oh by the way, I have 2 sons, 27 and 31 and am raising my grandson who is 5. We do take him out of a restaurant when he is not "publishionable". But I feel that if its as important to you to have quiet, go to the front desk and ask for a different room.
Hotels and restaurants are for everyone, not just for a few Quiet persons.

Melissa

I am with Gina on this one. I have 3 kids & we go out to eat occasionally, we stay at hotels & we have not been kicked out or dirty looks. Since when is it such a big deal that kids are an issue everywhere you go? This is crazy. When we have stayed at hotels in the past it is not the people with children who are loud & disruptive, it's the partying drunk people with NO children. I don't complain because it is the chance you take.

ESTELA

It breaks my heart to see how society sees our children as burdens or irritating little creatures. The whole idea of "banning children from hotels" makes me sooooo angry. First of all, everyone has children at some point. Children and babies ARE UNPREDICTABLE (especially babies)!! Second, can you imagine how much business a hotel will lose (the majority) if children are not allowed? If you can hear a baby cry from the other room, then the hotel needs to sound proof its rooms. A crying baby is not the only possible problem in a hotel room. There's loud party animals, screaming from arguing adults, loud music, etc.. So lets stop trying to solve everything by BANNING EVERYTHING!!! As a society, we need to learn how to come up with creative solutions and learn to COMPROMISE!! CHILDREN are a part of life. Now my last point is, you cannot compare a restaurant to a hotel room. Why? Because a restaurant is a very public place where I, as a mother of three (11,2, and 4mo old) will never take my todler and infant to eat. However, a hotel room is a private place where out of necessity parents stay (vacation, visiting family, traveling for medical reasons,etc). There's no telling why they are staying there. DO NOT COMPARE A RESTAURANT (public) to a HOTEL ROOM (private)!!

Nic

I'm a mother to 3 kids
7 yrs , 2 yrs and 5 mts
We travel all the time with our children
Just back frm Orlando and going to Ireland in June !!!
I pay the same price for my flight , my dinner if in a restaurant
My hotel room ... Etc etc ... As anyone else sitting in any of those places
You don't want to be near my kids ...
THEN MOVE !!!
As for those fabulous people who think that throwing me dirty looks when my child is crying .... DO YOU THINK I ENJOY THE SOUND OF MY CHILD CRYING ...HELL NO I DON'T
!!!! I DO get up and go out with any of my kids of they are crying !!!
But some people still throw looks my way !!!
I smile and laugh at their annoyance !!!
Once a man asked me on a plane ( international flight )
If I could turn off my child's DVD player .... I did and I gave him his toy cars to run up and down all the seats ... The fold away tray .... I let him make the broom broom noise over and over again .... After 20 mins I turned back on the DVD and told the man to pick his poison !!!!!!

NMG

Totally agree with ^ Jen! If you take you baby with you anywhere and the child cries...then people say your child is a bother...but if you leave you child with someone else while you go on vacation or out to eat then they call you selfish or a bad parent for not caring for your own child. You are the parent, so you make the decision! We were all babies once too!

Ramona B

We travel a great deal. There have been MANY instances where adults have been completely inconsiderate as well. Coming off the elevator at 2 in the morning talking extremely loud. Allowing their doors to bang shut at 5 a.m. Walking down the hall in a group in the middle of the night and laughing and shouting. Blasting the television.

The complaints about children are ridiculous. Yes, I do not enjoy having interrupted sleep, but all too often it is the adults who are the guilty party here.

Nuria

t is when the parents just don't do anything that really makes it annoying. I've gone to party's where parents bring their kids and just allow them to run all over the place. It ends up where everyone else is trying to make sure these kids don't wind up falling and hurting themselves, falling in a poor, scarping their knees on concrete that really makes you wonder why some people even had kids. It is incredibly rude to assume it's everyone else's job to take care of your child when you go somewhere.

Perhaps the family here should have asked for a room in a less populated part of the hotel, if there were any. Maybe the resort had separate cabins, somewhere that didn't connect them with other rooms. That could have been an option.

Chuck

There are three types of people in the world: those who have kids; those who want kids; and miserable wretches.

I side with Gina, but only if I have to pick one. Now that I have revealed my bias let me ask this. Why are we focusing on only the two families here when there's a more obvious culprit?

Hotel resorts should build thicker walls to accommodate the noise levels they actually experience. Parents, parties and impromptu 7 on 7 drills should not inconvenience other guests. Why have we, the consumer, put up with paper thin walls for so long? It's time to demand hotels that can handle the needs of their guests.

Stephanie Parker

I have to say here multiple times at hotel stays it was drunk loud hotel stayers keeping my kids awake all night!! So they should be made to leave if ppl with crying babies are called out. Irresponsible adults that have no consideration for hotel neighbors should be condemned more than an innocent baby! Lol. Just sayin.

Jen

I never understand how people can be so frustrated with babies crying. They are babies! That's what they do. No one died from a single night of disrupted sleep.

Life isn't perfect. No one "deserves" anything in life. People are so pampered in our society that a crying baby is treated like it's the end of the world. Give me a break! There are people who starve to death every single day.

Have some perspective, folks.

If my baby were crying and it were possible to remove him/her, I certainly would. Though, without knowing the circumstances, perhaps it wasn't possible? Perhaps the lobby was cold? Perhaps, had the parents moved to the lobby, they'd have gotten a grouchy letter from the receptionist.

Give parents a break!

Danielle

As a mother when we go out it does not matter what the age I do my best to control my kids. My kids know better then to jump or run around in the hotel as people below can hear it. I personally will take my babies for a walk if I can't get them to calm down, I have been blessed with very good sleepers so this has happened only a few times. You do take that chance when you change your babies surroundings and schedule. I can honestly say that I have been bothered by loud neighbors who are adults of older kids then babies like TV to loud, yelling, running, loud walking, slamming doors, etc.

Diana

This is an idiotic. I am both the mom of a toddler and a business profession who travels a large percentage of the year. The person who wrote the note and put it under the door needs to be spanked themselves. If you have an issue with your hotel neighbors call the front desk and ask for either security or re-assignment. How is a child crying at night so different than an individual who is playing their TV to loud, a loud group in the adjacent room, or even a boisterous couple engage in adult activities that keep you awake in your room?

Most parents are sensitive to the needs of their kids and asking them to take the crying child to the lobby is wrong. As a buisness person you expect some inconviences traveling. I seriously doubt the person who wrote the note is a professional at all. Let the children be and the man enjoy his family. This poor neurosurgeon was trying to spend time with his family. I'm sure he is trying to make the most of his situation of what I am sure is a 100+ per hour work week he juggles. I travel with my baby quite a bit and she has her moments but don't we all?

Anna

I have children who are 6, 4 and 4 months - and they are frequent travelers and diners at restaurants. My children have been taught from an early age how to behave in public, and if they cannot for whatever reason (from age to health or plain being exhausted and bad timing), my husband and I are on top of it and remove them from the situation, as Matt suggests. I can't fathom someone ignoring their children's crying - f
or their children's sake or others. When it comes to infants, I'll be honest that I feel breastfeeding made a huge difference in being able to travel with them (often and in multiple cases internationally) peacefully. Even with my very colicky first baby, I could always soothe her and nursing infants who are fed on demand and allowed to co-sleep when necessary very rarely would need to cry all night even when teething unless very ill (in which case, infant tylenol or a trip to ER might be warranted!). I agree with Gina's empathy for parents, but disagree that the solution is to never vary an infants schedule or stay home all the time as a result - and many parents we know travel with their young kids for various reasons - how ridiculous to think parents of infants should be shunned to their homes anymore than anyone else. It IS my job, as Matt says, to be cogniscent of my children's behavior in public and I am...more so than the many drunks, generally obnoxious people, loud uncontrolled teenagers, and otherwise rude people I have put up with on airplanes, hotels and restaurants. Rather than making this about infants being allowed somewhere (and yes I respect hotels with adult only policies, but that's certainly no guarantee of a quiet atmosphere either) it should be about all of us being aware of our environments and respectful of those around us.

Megan

There are certain places it's not appropriate to bring in infant. A quiet movie theatre, an adult restaurant, the adult section of the library. A hotel is not one of those places. Many resorts cater to families, and not every hotel stay is for vacation. Although you may be enjoying a vacation, the family with the crying baby in the room next to you may be there out of necessity. There are many things that can disturb you while staying in a resort overnight. A loud party of adults leaving their room. Traffic or people outside. If it disturbs you too much you should ask the front desk to accommodate you by finding another room. They typically do. As a parent I make make every effort to keep my young children and infant quiet in public. But sometimes things just happen. The world does not revolve around us but it doesn't revolve around anyone else either. If you leave your home and choose to go somewhere there may be families you relinquish control over your surroundings.

Perhaps next time, the guests in the next hotel room can go on an adult only cruise, or simply rent a whole cabin.

Lindsey

Honestly, that is why there are resorts that are adults only. If you are that sensitive go to one of those. We had a family with loud kids next to us on our honeymoon in Paris I simply called the concierge, told him the situation (like the adult that I am) and he moved us to another room on another floor of the hotel and left us a bottle of champagne and fine chocolates for our trouble. Any good hotel will do their best to make your stay enjoyable - provided you are an enjoyable person to deal with. It seems like the letter writer is the one acting like a child. Yes it sucks being next to the crying baby, but handle it maturely and you will likely get a more enjoyable resolution.

Barbara

I recently was in a high end hotel where the people next to me were partying and rowdy - extremely noisy all through the night. The hotel moved my room and the next night I was kept up by a barking dog (all the rage now in hotels that are pet friendly). I travel a lot and am often woken up by screaming babies or parents fighting, etc. The fact is - if you are making noise in a hotel room of any sort - you are being inconsiderate and, as adults, should do better. Unfortunately, many people only care about themselves and are selfish. Or clueless. Or both.

Erin

While I feel for both the parents and the guests next to them I think posing the question "Should babies be allowed in hotels?" is ridiculous. Of course they should. If we are questioning the right for a crying baby to be allowed in a hotel, we need to question the right of "partying" all night adults, people who have snoring problems, insomniacs on the phone, loud tv watchers,and people suffering from bronchitis to be able to stay there as well. Trust me, I've been kept awake at all types of hotels (luxury, economy, etc) by these types of patrons way more times than by a crying baby. Get over yourselves people!!!

Michelle

Yes, infants , children it doesn't matter should all be allowed wherever you want to take them. I'd much rather here a crying baby than grown adults partying and cussing . Or have loud sex for that matter. Your in a hotel with lots of people..... There will be noise, and some people are never happy and always have to complain...

cb

Being a foster parent , I'm not sure what kind of logistical nightmare this might be but how about if hotels and motels section off a part of their buildings for families and then for people who want quietness. I believe that the latter would be less in customers. As far as the restaurants may go having a parent take the infant/child to another part of the restaurant like the restroom until he/she quiets down is something we always do.

Brandy

I have to say that I am shocked & disappointed by some of the comments here by parents especially! I am a currently a sleep deprived mom of a 6 month old and a 3 year old. I am in the ballroom dance industry and travel at least once or twice per month for competitions. This is my job. It's how I help support my family. I can't simply stay at home or "leave the kids with a nanny" every time I travel, especially the baby! I'm nursing, so that means that where I go, he goes! My boys have travelled with me since they were 6 weeks old & 4 weeks old & though they are exceptonally good travellers, they are/ were also babies, so nothing is ever certain. Ballroom comps are held in nice, higher-end hotels, so not exactly kid focused (although some, like Ritz-Carlton hotels, are very kid-friendly), so I'm sure there were plenty of guests who feel that babies shouldn't be there. So far, I've been lucky enough to avoid any major crying marathons while in hotels, but that was nothing but timing. It could have just as easily happened that my oldest had one of his all-night tummyaches or my youngest could still potentially become a fussy teether. I have no way of preventing or predicting that, nor do I have the option of keeping them out of hotels. The suggestion that I should just "take the baby to the lobby" until he stops crying is also ridiculous. With my first boy, that might have been possible. My 6 month old, however, has to have silence & darkness & needs to be nursed to sleep. Then once he's asleep, he CAN NOT be moved. This means that taking him to the lobby would only ensure that neither he nor I would sleep at all, which will only make the situation worse on the next night & the next. Not to mention the fact that when I'm traveling with both kids, I would also have a sleepy, cranky toddler running around the lobby while I try to calm a pissed off sleepy infant.
Yes, torturing 2 children who have absolutely no choice in their situation or ability to control their emotions sounds like a much better solution than the ADULTS next door wearing earplugs or using a sound machine or just sucking it up for a few hours because they obviously have a much easier life than I do if their BIG problem is having to hear the sounds of someone else's problems through the wall! Seriously, people, learn to have some compassion for people who are obviously struggling! If it's such a major issue for you for one night, how do you think they are feeling after weeks or months of that? Besides, if we can put up with your coming back to the room at midnight laughing drunkenly & letting the door slam (which wakes up that oh-so-annoying baby) & your loud sex which we vaguely recall is what started this whole baby process, then you can deal with a little crying! And for those of you who ARE parents and siding with those who would make it more difficult to be a parent, SHAME ON YOU!!

Katie

Absolutely babies should be welcome in a hotel. And parents should not be expected to leave their room to try to console an infant. I highly doubt that ANY parent would just let a baby cry without trying to comfort the baby. Should we as hotel patrons expect that if we can hear someone celebrating or watching a game that they should excuse themselves to the lobby till they are done celebrating??? I think not. Bring your ear plugs.

Kristyn

This is so sad to think people are that intolerant of those with children. Children are very unpredictable and that's the joy of having them. If you are worried about who will be sleeping in the room next to you, go sleep in your car, wear ear plugs, get a sound machine, there are things that you can do to avoid the noise. But realize that most parents with children rarely get out as it is and we are always worried about how our kids will act in public. I am the mother of a toddler and dont feel that I should have to stay home to avoid opinionated, self righteous people that forget what it's like having kids or don't have kids at all. Unless you have kids, you just don't know the constant fear we parents live in everyday for the safety and well being of our children especially traveling with children. I'm sorry about your lack of sleep for a couple nights, but that is the price of staying in hotels or any other public places. While I do agree it's up to the parents to be responsible and considerate of those around them, but sometimes things can't be helped when you take a child out of their familiar environment. Please be patient with us, we're trying.

Lem

We traveled frequently with our infant/baby/toddler and stayed at high end hotels back then without ever giving it any thought as to whether we were welcomed or not. She laughed, cried, screamed, whatever other emotions she experienced during our travels. I always tried to comfort her in consideration of our room neighbors. There were lots of inconsolable moments which required me to leave the room, but not because of neighbors, more because of a change of scenery, environment, can be quite soothing to a fussy baby. I believe the thought about banning babies from hotel rooms should be likened to banning adults who have hadttle much to drink and are loud in their rooms or couples engaging in loud sexual indiscretions.

Ellen Vandover

Maybe hotels should have baby rooms with sound proof walls. It would help with pets also and noisy people. Smoking or no smoking? Crying or no crying? I rarely can get much sleep in hotels. One hotel supplies ear plugs because of the train whistling all night. Didn't help. Pillow didn't help. Fan didn't help. My husband can sleep through anything. Maybe I will try taking Valerian before bed.

Elizabeth Looney

Ok. I have a 5 year old and a 7 month. We took our daughters on vacation with us when my youngest was 3 month old and her sleep schedule was changing....she us to have days and nights mixed up. My thinking is that parents don't always have affordable childcare for a vacation so what do you do....take them with. My thinking is....you don't like my screaming teething child, then ignore it. We have as much right as everyone else to take a vacation and have a good time. Sure...with my kids I do make an effort to quiet them but sometimes babies like to scream and cry because they are making that noise.

Amanda

Matt - you obviously don't have any kids. Really? you simple solution is to bring the baby to the lobby!?!? the last thing you do to try to soothe a baby and get them back to sleep is bring them to a brightly lit environment with noise/people around. let's just go traipsing them through the hotel. that will help them fall asleep. that kid would think it was party time and be up for hours. Gina's right on - it's your risk you take when you stay at a hotel. I've also had loud people throwing balls and drinking and talking loud over where my baby was sleeping, but i can't tell them they have to leave the hotel.

Jewelia

I am not a parent but i have a younger brother. And he used to share a room wih me. He would almost always be up all night. Just laughing and carrying on. I had to get up in he morning to goto school so it was hard sometimes. I learned to cope. And so did the people around me. I agree with both. My brother was a loveable child. He is different from alot of kids.

Racite

We have to be reasonable here. If you do not want to "deal" with other peoples parenting styles, or crying children then the answer is simple, stay away from public spaces, buy your own private jet so you don't have to sit next to them on long flights, dine only in private clubs and do not stay in hotels. Otherwise you have to deal with it as they are open to the public. We do not have the right to impose our methods of parenting on others (as long as the child is not abused) nor do we have a right to say who gets to eat, sleep (in the room next to ours) or dine next to us in restaurants. As a person who stays in hotels at least two nights a week all over the world for the last 13 years I have to say that I have NEVER been awakened by a crying child in the next room. I HAVE been awakened by drunken people roaming the halls because they can't find their hotel room, idiots who thought it would be great to pull the fire alarm at 2:00am, from maids who missed the do not disturb sign, ridiculously loud heating and air conditioning systems, outdoor concerts and firework displays etc....My point is, If you do not want children on your vacation, there are places that do not allow children so go there. But do not go to a public space with private expectations.

Mcdietsch

I have different point of view.... Why must we be considerate of inconsiderate people?

My children are grown, thank god! And my heart always goes out to struggling parents. It's not easy to raise children in such selfish self righteous society. We ALL need to be considerate of one another, not just parents of screaming babies towards bothered people!

Mel

I totally agree with Racite. I have never been woken up by a crying baby, however have had issues with drunk or just LOUD people at night. Now being a parent if I do hear a child cry I do feel more for the parents now, especially if they are trying to quiet the child. If you don't want to hear a crying baby, then don't go out in public. As with being in public we all have to deal with each other.

Linda Hoffecker

Just stay home with your baby or find the hotels that have special rooms for kids just like some motels have rooms for people with pets. I work hard for my money and have a hard enough time to sleep in someone else's bed as it is. A baby, kids or pets are not welcome on my vacation altho I must say I took my dog on numerous vacations and she was quiet as a mouse.

Belanie

In response to one commenter: Spank a five-month-old baby for crying in the middle of the night? really? Okay everyone- Let's just take a look at the broader perspective for a moment shall we? Lets imagine ourselves in severe pain from impacted molars or a migraine headache or let's say you just just woke up with the worst gas pains in your stomach from a way to heavy hotel meal...,maybe you're not five months old and colicky but you're eight or nine or maybe you're 39.. yeah you might try not to cry but you'd be in pain- should we the other hotel patrons or workers just request you leave? Really? Is that how selfish our society has become? Where is the empathy for another human being gone?

And on top of that, a 5 month old doesn't know how to "tone it down" and as much as we parents try to get our children to stop crying sometimes they are just not having it.... so let's imagine a childless world where there's never a problem like what this... I know i know for you severely sleep deprived moms out there you might have just thought that for 1-2 seconds before, right? Lol.

But really- wanting to BAN children from hotels is for good?!?!. Come on! It sucks but there are any number of reasons why you might have lost sleep at that hotel other than that poor baby.

And you think that the mom and dad have a duty to be loud enough so you can hear them trying to console their baby rather than quietly bouncing or rocking them or pacing the room with them, JUST for your benefit? Give me a break! How selfish....

- i feel terrible for both parties but there were things the complainers could have done other than wait until the next morning and write a nasty note. 1) call the front desk and ask for ear plugs- pick your poison: ear plugs or screaming baby and no sleep? 2) The front desk code then have helped intervene with Childrens Tylenol from the hotel store, or offered another room or an ice pack or even a bucket of crushed ice so mom could make baby ice in a sandwich baggie to chew on etc.... the unfortunate families had to endure (both families that is objectively had to endure a bit on that trip- right?)
Lets just al be a little more empathetic to that crying baby, and a little less selfish (ie writing nasty notes) and this world will be a better place.

anna

There are resorts for couples / grown-ups only. If you don't want to see / hear children you can chose to go there. You can't tell people not to go on vacation. It never occurred to me not to take my children with me out of consideration for other people. It also doesn't bother me to hear crying children in hotels and planes. This is part of life. Definitely not the worst part.

Julie Durfee

People please grow up. Take your youngest with you they are part of the family and need to be part of the family vacation experience. As a rule of thumb most moms don’t leave their baby behind on long outings until they are one or until they can walk and there are a lot of reasons why they should do this. Most hotels put large families especially with young children on the back side of the hotel. If you are getting placed too close to these families maybe you should have booked sooner or tried to get a room closer to the office. I have plenty of letters to write too! Having to pay for three hotel rooms and not allowed in the lobby forcing me to push my baby around in a stroller in the middle of the desert in the middle of the night. The baby and I could have gotten kidnapped while hubbie and the other kids sleept. I was on a road trip to see my kids in another state 2000 miles over, and to take their 3 step siblings to see them as well. Flying with large groups is too expensive and difficult. I have done it though. I was forced to fly with my 7 week old my current youngest because of a custody issue when my X refused to share the kids or let them see me and was telling them they would never see their mom again. My baby was breast fed and there was no room to breast feed on the plane it was so crowded his car seat cut into my lap and I had to carry his diaper bag on my lap I could not find a way to put the baby on my lap and feed in any kind of way it was rush rush to the plane and then rush rush when getting off and in between flights and also another 5 hours to the town that I was headed and not enough time to stop and feed the baby so my milk dried up and the baby now has lifelong health problems and stunted growth due to his allergy to cow’s milk and soy. Next time I'm traveling by car it is much more enjoyable to take your time and enjoy the sights bring the kids they love it. I'm pregnant now and we plan to move out there to where my older son is right after the baby is born. If I am concerned about someone being upset that I am bringing children with me while I travel I guess I should just put the baby in foster care until the public decide she is old enough to travel. NOT!!! Travel and accommodations need to be adapted to families with young children besides families are bringing in revenue to tourist attractions and resorts. Do you really want to make it so hard on them that they can’t enjoy the things they should be able to do as families.

Sierra

When my first born was a month old we flew with my husband to San Diego. He had gotten approval to have us join him on a month long business tip that he couldn't get out of. I was very nervous about flying with a newborn and we did get some nasty looks from the people around us, especially since we flew first class. I didn't blame them though, it could have been very bad. We go lucky though and my daughter slept almost the whole way and cried for maybe 5 mins when her diaper was dirty. While at the hotel I was very empathetic to any guests around us, I never let the baby cry if I could help it, it also helped that she was a pretty good sleeper. Traveling parents need to have as much consideration as they can to the people around them and the same thing goes to the rest of you travelers. Be sympathetic to the parent, you don't know why they're traveling or the reason the baby is crying. I personally get way more annoyed at the older kids, or loud drunk people running down the hallways. Also, and just a recommendation, travel with ear plugs, they help a lot.

JEM

If the hotel would spend a little money on sound proofing dry wall, added on any and all connecting walls this would lower all of the unwelcome sound (NOISE). There are noise level standards and it is up to the hotels to make sure they have done all within their power to keep the noise at a lower level. Babies, toddlers, even teens and adults acting like teens all make noise. As to restaurants, the child should be removed from the area until it settles down or the adults can transfer off the unhappy child to another so they can get something to eat too.

Mary

I was raised in a culture where the children and babies went everywhere the family did. Babies and children went to weddings, showers, and any other event, and they were always in familiar territory. It's very nice when everyone is together, from the youngest to the oldest. But young parents, years ago, didn't have to travel as much because everyone was more likely to live in the same city. But I feel sorry for the people who didn't get any rest, or couldn't enjoy a meal. Parents can try to predict what their baby/child will need on a trip, though I realize that children can be mercurial, especially in strange surroundings. If the parents know that the baby is of teething age, for example, bring a topical medication to bring relief. If children are bored, bring toys and games. And parents have to travel more now because families are often separated by distance.

Allie0op

You should take your screaming baby to the lobby to soothe them? Are you nuts? Yes, go to the brightly lit open space in a public area of the hotel instead of a private room. There is no good answer here other than thinking ahead and putting families with young kids in quieter areas of the hotel. Burt the bottom line is you have a right to travel with your infant and they are not a TV set which can be turned down on request. Deal with it, or go to an adults only resort if you can't.

Julie Durfee

I take my children. My 1st child had colic due to being born 7 weeks early but I never had this problem with any of the others I had a girl in 98 and she was easygoing sweet heart never cried then in 05 I had another girl and she was different I always had a lot of work to do to make her happy but I did it and I took her with me everywhere. I live in Sac so I have many pic of our family up in Tahoe and North Star resort. It is a great place for kids, we love it. The babies love the snow and they are all bundled up and I bring extra clothes and change them often of course the little ones need to spend more time in the hotel but it does them good to be close to their siblings and family. My baby I have now will be turning 5 in April and he has always been a doll I think it’s due to his growth delays and that is why he is so mellow and calm. The food at North Star is great but don’t eat anywhere else in Taho or Reno even. We have tried many different restraunts including casinos and the most palatable was Taco Bell ewww this making my favorite place of venue 7-11 lol.

Misty

I respond to this as not only a parent of an 11 month old, but also a hotel manager. First and foremost, why do people expect complete silence and sound proof walls? Please tell me where you have stayed that you didn't hear people in the hallway or traffic outside. It is just not physically possible to construct a hotel that is sound proof and to price the hotel rooms at current market prices. Also, there is just no way to segregate families to a particular area of the hotel. Not only do we have to honor the room type you reserved, but sometimes we simply have nothing else to even offer. My best advice to anyone that is sensitive to sound is to add requests for "away from elevator" and "away from ice machine" to your frequent traveler profile or your reservation. This tells me you may be sensitive to sound, and I can try to accommodate accordingly. Also, always mention special occasions or events so I know your purpose of travel, which could help me place your room better. I am a true believer in accepting the situation around you, meaning that you take responsibility for the situation that you have put yourself in as an adult. There are unpredictable babies, children & people in the world; if you don't want to deal with other people and their stuff, don't go anywhere and stay home. The simple fact of the matter is that we all got here by being babies once and everyone e I the world needs to be more accepting of this. If you choose not to have children, that's fine, just don't expect the rest of the world to cater to your choice, just as I don't expect you to cater to mine. If my baby is crying for an extended period I will try to relocate her to minimize the inconvenience should the situation warrant it, but that's not always the case. I definitely don't think that the parents with the crying baby should have done anything for their neighbors (one comment suggested buying breakfast for all surrounding rooms; are you crazy?) other than offer a sincere apology when they saw them. Again, we all have our own stuff going on in life and we need to learn to have compassion for the fellow man. Part of the reason I wanted to have children is to teach them to be caring, compassionate and understanding in an effort to help offset those that teach their children to be rude, inconsiderate and selfish. I can only hope that the people that wrote the letter were having their own bad day, exacerbated by an uncontrollable situation, and that from it they learned a little bit of something about life and themselves.

Gloria Chadwick

leave the kids at home esp Ski *Resort or any place like that where *Adults can participate not small kids! esp babies Is till hav a prob w babies in Church * resturants too! all t hey k now is hungry *scream, wet poopy scream, feeling neglectetd *scream! leave them home where they belong w baby sitter that's what sitters are for! PLZ!

Donna

Everyone needs to remember that babies are people too! Plus, children are what makes it a "family vacation!". But, with all concerned, it might be good if hotels and motels had separate areas to house the haves and the have nots.....not unlike smoking and non smoking! As for myself, as one of the haves, I normally don't find it irritating when the room next door is housing children, as long as they are supervised and encouraged to mind their manners and considerations for other travelers. Unfortunately, this is not easily explained to a six month old, or even an eighteen month old. And that's where designated areas of the hotels would come in to solve that problem!

Kristina

How about giving an IQ test so idiots like the ones who don't want children in hotels can't stay, either? How about no senior citizens? How about no handicapped people? How about no blond people?

I cannot fathom anyone would even propose such a thing.

As someone who travels extensively for work. I will say that loud couples having s*x and drunk college students are a lot louder than babies.

Shame on that letter- writer!

Kandace Akers

Its OK for babies to be in hotels but I think they need to be a floor just for kids. Because it is hard to sleep when kids are crying or running up and down the halls.
Kandace,

Andrea

I read these articles and these posts and my jaw is like dragging the floor right now.

Life lesson here people, so pay attention! You are humans. When you have sex with other humans you are going to produce little humans. When these little humans get upset they cry! Shocker. Does this mean all of these above humans should be condemned or imprisoned in their homes never to see the light of day!? No. It's ridiculous that people would even suggest that babies not be allowed in PUBLIC places. I've spent plenty of time listening to all kinds of crap I don't enjoy while going out in public places. I've listened to offensive conversations, I've had people steal from me, cuss at me, I've listened to couples having sex in the room next to me while trying to get my perfectly calm an happy baby to go to sleep. And hands down every time I would rather listen to 10 babies screaming then two 20 year olds coo and eww and aww! I've had people on planes ask to move seats because I have children and I think those people are petty, small, and shallow people. I am just as offended by them and they are by my inconsideration for daring to take my child to see her grandparents 3000 miles away. Get over yourself people! Life is unconvenient sometimes. I stepped in dog crap today, did I run around ranting about it like a lunic swearing that all dog owners should be banned from my neighborhood. Nope, I rubbed that shit in the grass and got on with my day.

Crystal

I have to say as a mother of two, reading this has completely infuriated me. Those of you speaking about the parents having some consideration, etc. are ridiculous. Babies are babies, you were a baby once. I highly doubt you were kept within the four walls of your home until you were an adult. If you were that is unfortunate to have missed out on the world. It is obscene you would expect such of a parent. I involve my children in much of what I do and take them with me anywhere possible around their needs. They are people and deserve to be treated as such. Would you have had the nerve to relay such an opinion to a person with a child with say Down syndrome and autism , causing a good amount of noise in the next room to someone. I truly doubt it, if so shame on you. Again, like Gina and several others have mentioned you can be kept awake by a group of teens, a drunken group of bachelors or bachelorettes, a tv watcher, anyone. And yes, that is frustrating.. I've been there , who likes to lose sleep. But guess what, that was the room you were dealt. Be a human with a heart not speaking out of anger and call the front desk, ask for a change of room or some type of comp if they can't provide that. That's why they're there. Deal with the situation like an adult. I have traveled for much of my life and been kept awake by noisy neighbors an uncountable amount of times. Of course it is aggravating but in no circumstance where the noise was uncontrollable (such as a baby) would I even have the nerve to complain. I might though call the front desk if a loud group of young adults were going a little too crazy in the hall ways for too much lf the night or step out and kindly ask they quiet down. Should adolescents be banned as well ? Obviously that is ridiculous. Again, we are talking about a poor baby who is a human being too. Would this anonymous person and those of you who share the same opinion go spend you're night uncomfortably in the lobby or take a flight back home if you became ill unexpectedly and were up having a coughing fit all night long keeping your neighbor awake or if you came down with a stomach virus making atrocious noises in the bathroom all night long or using a trash can next to the bed, why don't you take yourself down to the lobby then too. Answer as you'd like but if you're being honest of course you are not going to do that in most cases, let's be real. As much as a mother of a screaming baby is probably not going to spend the night with her inconsolable infant where there are other people who are being noisy and aggravate the baby more or where she would be worried about disturbing even more people. Unless perhaps the parent thought a change of scenery might help. I have been on both sides here but if one of my children had a spell due to whatever reason, it is not my nor any parents obligation to explain themselves to anyone. I would stay or go wherever I felt was the best place to soothe the baby and you should assume any good parent would do the same and deal with it. Bring some ear plugs next trip. And yes, I would feel bad for the people around me and probably apologize if I happened to see them, perhaps write a little note but considering I would have been up all night myself and over stressed not having been able to help my child I think that's going above and beyond. It is an unfortunate risk of staying somewhere other than your own home where you still there can not guarantee your good nights sleep. I have one good sleeper and one not so much, If we needed family time I would not dare leave them behind. It is truly despicable to hear those of you suggest someone do this. If you chose to leave your baby with a nanny, good for you, that's what you do. That is not for everyone. Again, this goes beyond the baby issue. You can have this happen for any number of reasons. To though leave such a note when it was a baby crying is disgusting. I can almost guarantee you unless you were lucky enough to have/have been a perfect child who did not cry or make any disturbances from the time they/you were born, through terrible twos, straight through puberty to being an adult, all the way to senior citizen; you/your child has annoyed someone (ignorant or innocent) at some point in life as well for whatever reason. So should we just ban everyone from everywhere ? Sure that makes sense. Get a heart and join the real world. Much of it is a public place !

Wendy

Wow! I must say taking a vacation is a privilege, but never perfect. Expectations are not guaranteed to be met. Absolutely the couple without the crying baby should have asked to be moved. Why would you stay in the same room for a second night after the first was so miserable? If it was a drunk person or a fighting couple or a sick person that kept you up, would you have left the letter?
People are sure quick to judge others. Couples with children have the right to take their children on vacations. I doubt that they planned on keeping others awake all night. I would also not choose to take my crying baby (in my pj's) to the brightly lit and public lobby in the middle of the night. Also, Tylenol doesn't make every baby stop crying either. Every baby is different.
Nobody else knows the situation of that family, the specific issues going on with that baby on each of those nights. Just because my baby didn't cry all night when they were teething, means absolutely nothing to the baby next to me.
I also have been irritated when seeing parents that ignore their crying or misbehaving children. I just think to myself that I don't ever want to practice their parenting skills!! But if it really bothers me, I move farther away or leave.
Getting so upset and taking the time to write a nasty letter is not worth my time or energy. Life is too short! Do something to remove yourself from the situation and move on.

Christina

Wow! I was quite bothered when I read this article. I understand all sides but the letter was a bit overboard. This is my take, I believe there are places for children and families, then there are those places just for a getaway for parents. I always do my homework prior to going on vacations to make sure the hotel is famil and kid friendly, I'm not going to pick a elegant hotel when planning a vacation with my 4 little ones. If I was the individuals bothered by the crying, I would have knocked on the door to make sure everything was ok and the parents would've gotten the picture that there little one was being heard. I know that bit everyplace or one is kid friendly but come on people cut us parents some slack..

Geraldine Stanley

Sound poof the room make it work out for both parties to stay make our money worth paying for good rooms. That's what we need to consider when we construct on motels/hotels.

Nicole

I am a mom with a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I have family in many parts of the country and travel with them frequently, sometimes staying in hotels when there is no room with relatives. I have at least twice had one of my children, usually fantastic sleepers, break down into inconsolable screaming fits in the middle of the night while at a hotel. It happens. And it sucks. After 15 minutes or so of trying to calm them in the room, I got dressed and took them away from the room. Once it was to the lobby and once it was outside to the parking lot. Both times it took at least an hour to calm them down. I did this so others, including my husband, could sleep. I think as a traveler you should expect a little noise- doors slamming in a hallway, talking, a little bit of crying. After about 15 minutes, though, I think a parent should go to an area where others will not be disturbed. But I never think it is okay to leave a nasty, anonymous note. It's cowardly. If the noise was such a problem, they should have called the front desk when it was happening and demanded the hotel take care of it. And if they wanted to say nasty things, they should have had the guts to knock on the door and say them directly to the tired mom and dad's faces. Real life is not an internet discussion board where you can say ugly things anonymously in the comment section.

Kelsea copenhaver

I find this post utterly unbelievable. I have 2 children 6 and 3 yrs old I will take my children where ever I please to go. Yes I think everyone would be considerate of each other but no one should put there lives on hold because they have children. Whether you take them to the park a resturant or a hotel. This whole situation is very baffling. And anyone willing to go out of there way to try and destroy a family vacation needs a reality check

Amy

I'm the proprietor of Homestays By The Bay in Berkeley, California, and I have two words for the folks who couldn't sleep: ear plugs.

I supply large boxes of them at my guesthouses (as I think all lodging establishments should do) and I never travel without them. I also have a 10 pm - 7 pm quiet hours policy.

Any overnight establishment has the potential to get unexpectedly noisy, no matter how hard management works to enforce quiet hours. Some guests are unaware of how loudly they talk on their cell phone or operate the TV; street sounds can intrude into a building; some people wake during the night and accidentally let doors slam; some snore; some lose track of how loudly they're talking and laughing; etc.

If the guests next door were traveling without ear plugs, they were leaving their own sleep quality to chance, rather than taking responsibility for their own experience. It's so easy to block out noise this way - it amazes me that travelers are willing to put their entire trip in jeopardy by not bringing a 1/2 inch long object that costs 25 cents. It's a little like raging at the sky over your soaked clothes instead of always carrying an umbrella during the rainy season.

However, everyone in this scenario needed to be more responsible: the parents, the guests next door, and the establishment. The establishment could supply earplugs (so cheap and easy to do) and could have an area of the hotel for families with children - even a crying baby room with a Pack N Play already set up. If the parents chose to let the baby cry rather than feed, cuddle, or walk him or her - as part of their own sleep training priorities or out of selfishness for their own rest - knowing it could wake other guests, they were deeply inconsiderate.

We live in a highly selfish, individualistic culture where we readily assert entitlement to have our own needs met, even when it's not justified or practical, and resist (or don't consider) going the extra mile for someone else. Notions like taking personal responsibility by packing along earplugs, or taking extra measures to soothe our crying infant for someone else's sake, or spending a few extra bucks to supply earplugs to our guests seems to make Americans righteously indignant. If we all object to inconveniencing ourselves for the common good, scenarios like this one (and far worse) should be no surprise.

Jim Barton

Both make valid points. I'd like to share an ironic
Story. My wife and I went to a restuarant with
Our 11 month old daughter and they sat us in
A corner with another toddler and her family.
The other guests were seated in the main dining
Room. Both my child and the other family were
Very well behaved. Shortly after we were seated
A very loud woman on the other side started screaming
Into her phone, cursing and shouting so much
That people were moving into the baby section
For a quiet dinner.....

Tracie

Honestly, as a parent I see both sides of the the above opinions. However I do think that the nasty note writers need to realize that they are in a public place, not their bedroom, and despite what they may think they are entitled to, they aren't going to get perfect like their home sleep, especially in a room with walls that thin.

If they want a resort style stay, comforts of home, more-likely-than-not no children, get a suite and PAY for your luxury.

Otherwise you're swimming in the same public pool as the rest of us humans who have real problems to deal with.

Amber

I recently stayed in a hotel by myself for a conference, and babies or not, they need to make hotel room walls ultra-thick and sound proof. The first night I could hear someone snoring very loudly. The second night I was awoken very early in the morning by a girl's phone conversation--I could literally hear every word that she said. I probably made annoying sounds too, so whether it's crying babies or loud talkers or whatever, it would be nice if hotel walls were better equipped to handle all their customers who are temporarily trying to live together in a small space.

That said, I have a four-month-old (my first baby) and I would be okay with taking her to a hotel because she usually only wakes up briefly once in the night (and we usually don't stay in $300 per night rooms). However, I have not yet traveled with her, so I can't predict how she would react/change.

I definitely think the people who slipped a note under the door should have called management to ask for help or to be moved to a different room or something, instead of fuming all night and then writing a nasty gram. If I had received that letter during the first few weeks after my daughter's birth, I would have cried for sure.

Erin

Banning children from hotels??? Sure, let me just get used to the idea of NEVER going anywhere again!!!! I have a 12 yr old, 7 yr old and am expecting in June. I have traveled with both my older children when they were infants and it is difficult in any situation. Punishing us parents who do whatever we can to make sure our traveling children are happy, by banning us from hotels is ridiculous. Infants are a part of society and will NEVER go away, there will always be families with small children somewhere. I for one would try to soothe my crying child as I have my 2 older ones, however, I would NOT take an infant to the lobby. Really?? Babies get overstimulated VERY easily!! Bright lights, loud noises, and tension from parents will nearly always cause a crying infant to cry all the harder, so a hotel lobby could just end up making the issue worse for both parent and child. I say punish the ADULTS who make more racket in hotels than the nurturing parents who are doing their best.

Ron

So if an adult were making a scene or up late in a resort making loud noises, that's OK - it's just because it's an infant or small child that makes it a big issue? I'm sorry, but I've been kept awake in hotels and resorts by inconsiderate adults running up and down the halls slamming doors, partying, etc. and I've never complained or written a nasty note and slipped it under the door (although at times I would have liked to have done worse, like wake them up with loud noises at 5:00 am after a long night of partying).

Before we had children , I'll admit to not wanting to sit next to or even near a couple with a loud child/children when my wife and I were out for a nice meal. I don't think that is too much to ask. But I put that on the parents more-so than the child. The parents should be the ones to take control or remove the child until he/she has calmed down and is able to sit and not be a total distraction. Anyone that expects all children to be total angels sitting perfectly quiet without making a sound is not living in the real world. But it not out of the realm of reasonable expectation to sit down to a meal without having a screaming child disrupting what should be a nice meal out. Now that we have a child I hold no grudges against those that wish to not sit near us - I get it. We do our best to keep our son under control when we go out to dinner and at times I worry that he is causing problems for those around us, but we almost ALWAYS get compliments from people around us as they are finishing their meals and leaving about how well behaved our son is. If you have children you tend to be a little more tolerant to the behavior of children. We can usually tell those people who do not have children - and that is why we try so hard to make sure our son is not a total disruption to others around us.

As for a crying baby in the next room keeping you up all night . . . pack some earplugs on your next trip. Seriously though . . . if it's that bad a call to the front desk to relocate to another room would be my first call and earplugs would be my plan "B". What is a family to do when they are traveling? Are they not allowed to take a trip or vacation? Granted, there are some places that are totally inappropriate for an infant/small child, and again I blame the parents for that. Regardless, a nasty note under the door is not the way to handle it.

Use a little common sense when taking your kids out to dinner or on vacation. And use a little common sense when dealing with those families who are taking their kids out to dinner or on vacation - you may be doing something that seems perfectly fine to you, but is bugging the heck out of them - they just have enough respect not to say anything about it.

T

WHATEVER to the dude whose vacation got ruined. Next time go stay at an "adults only" place. Or better yet, stay at home where you won't hear ANY noise!!! This was a public place and there was nothing illegal going on. So, just be an ADULT and deal with what life throws at you. You should have gone to the front desk and asked for your room to be changed if it bothered you so much. What a jerk. I feel bad for the parents who had to sit through their kid crying all night. My kid has now been to 50 different places and he is only 2 years old. And I am not going to keep him at home because someone else can't deal with it!

Maria

We took our 5-month-old son on a weekend trip to a ski resort. I was nervous about him crying and bothering the other guests, but he behaved beautifully- barely made a peep all night. In fact, I doubt anyone else even knew there was a baby in our room.

Yes, babies can be unpredictable, but inconsolable crying isn't actually that common. And I'm guessing that most people who are aghast that someone would bring a baby to a ski resort aren't actually skiers. Skiing is a sport, and generally a family-friendly one- it's really not comparable to, say, a meal in a 4-star restaurant.

Jenny

Racite said it best.

What amazes me is that there are women on here calling the parents of the child rude and selfish.

Talk about some skewed perceptions. Anyone who thinks a parent should have to take an infant out of the warm room at a ski resort (meaning it is COLD outside) just so they can get an extra hour or so of sleep seriously needs counseling for narcissistic tendencies.

And who cares whether they should have brought the kid? The fact of the matter was the kid was there. I'm sure the parents were regretting it even more than their petulant neighbors were. Some times we make bad choices. That doesn't mean a poor infant should be banished to the freezing outdoors because some prima Donna needs her beauty sleep.

K in Philly

One thing hotels could do is make it standard practice to have a completely dark "white noise" station on the tv ... perhaps that sounds like a whirring box fan. It would help the babies sleep AND could be turned up to cover the noise from neighboring rooms ... be it practicing teenage cheerleaders or business people who like to listen to the news loud during their 5am breakfast or crying babies.

Beth

The parents were probably trying to get the baby to go back to sleep. Taking the baby to the lobby, where it is bright and there's activity and new sights and sounds, is not going to work. That baby would be up all night. And then they'd be overtired and cranky and crying all day the next day. Sorry Matt, but it just wouldn't work.

julia

Wow its just like saying to mothers that they can't breast feed in public. I'm sorry but I have two kids and I breast feeded in public call me a bad name cause I was feeding my child. banning babies or kids from a hotel is stupid I thought this was a free country I guess not. and people have to realize they where once a kid too. and I think most of us threw a fit once in public. punish the kids and parents for what its senseless. lets make another pointless law in this country

Sue

I have an 11 year old and she's been traveling since she was 2 days old (if you count the 1 and half home from the hospital). She slept in the car, in restaurants, was always smiling and is still good to this day. Was good in hotels too. If you don't take your children out in public, they will never know how to behave in public. Its not the child's fault, if the child is whining or loud its up to the parent to stop the behavior and if that means walking away from the table and or going for a walk in the lobby in a hotel than so be it. Kids are our future - like it or not. I really think that the only people that you hear from are ones without kids or ones that forgot what kids are like.

Tracy

If someone wants to take a place to sleep from an infant, something is wrong with them. Think about the parents also, they have to live with the crying a LOT more often than someone else does. Perhaps hotels should start providing mobiles and cribs for their rooms.

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