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November 25, 2013

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Comments

Joe

Thanks for sharing. We are expecting #2 and I have been worries about the same things. This was great, and I will be sharing with my wife and daughter.
-Joe

NewMomOnceMore

Loved this post. I've been through the same situation last year, when we welcomed our son; little brother to our 6 year old daughter. Very similar fears and thoughts ! But an year through this, and there have been many more than a few instances when she has amazed us with her thoughtfulness ! It's beautiful to see her transitioning from the baby of the house to the little lady of the house :)

Andrew

Well written post. We have a 6-year-old daughter who, in September, helped us welcome two new sisters into the family. It has helped that the twins, who we think are identical, are really mellow and easygoing. So far.

We started adjusting older daughter's expectations months before, when we explained she might be getting not one new sister but *two*, and what they will do for the first months-to-a-year time. So nothing has been a surprise to her. They were in NICU for 2 weeks after being born, learning how to eat and putting on a little weight. She would go with us to visit them, and it sort of eased her into them joining us. (It eased all of us into it!)

I completely renovated her room this summer, from the house's old master bedroom, including a bigger closet and ripping out the walls and insulating better. She can roll her door shut and there's no interruption to sleeping, etc.

There really has been no jealousy, complaining, or anything like that from her about them. (She does have a few other issues, like sensory processing disorder and maybe some general anxiety we are working to get to the bottom of -- but as a heart surgery patient at 6 months old some of these have been long-lead-time items.) It is just really nice to see how attentive and loving she is of her sisters.

So sometimes its not just a new baby...its babIES. And the process of keeping everyone happy and knowing they're loved is still the same.

Birth@37

This is a great blog! We are expecting baby #2 and my son is 8. At first, he was not thrilled, especially since it was a girl...he wanted a brother. But after reading articles similar to this, i have tried to prepare him for her arrival. He has already become a great helper and is very protective of mommy. We also gave him the choice of keeping his room and bed (which is a convertible crib) and re-decorating. He loved that because he felt like a big boy making his own decisions. Hopefully, the transition will continue to run smoothly.

Momofthree

What I found to rock my son's word way more than the arrival of my daughter was when she started walking - no one ever seems to talk about that as a big event in an older sibling's life. When the younger one can't move, he or she is cute and harmless. My son didn't mind her being around at all, he just did his own thing BUT when she could come over and knock down the tower he built, or destroy his train track, or take his things, THAT was a problem. And on top of all that, everyone is so excited for the new walker and is paying so much attention to them at that stage. So, parents of siblings, beware, getting the older child to accept the new one upon arrival is far from the end of it.

Chris Snell

Thank you all for the wonderful comments and ideas (picking rooms/decorating new rooms). I really appreciate it!

Corinne

Thank you so much for this article. We have a 5, almost 6, year old daughter. My husband and I have been on the fence about baby #2. Okay.. I have mainly. He has been wanting a second for about 3yrs. I am terrified about having another. Not only because I do not have great pregnancies, but I am scared how this will affect our family dynamic. Thank you for the tips on what to say to the older sibling.

melissa

Thanks so much for writing this. I too am expecting my second baby in February. I have many of the same concerns as you and your advice was so helpful. I reblogged on my blog Fit Fab Mommy

and commented: "I too like the author Chris have many concerns about how my daughter will react to the arrival of the new baby. I never want her to feel left our or that she isn’t getting enough attention. I want her to feel involved and loved. I am the youngest by seven years so I never had to go through the arrival of a new baby and my husband is the youngest as well. I know that I need to be sensitive to her needs. I am sad in a way because it has just been the three of us for so long, but I am so thankful and grateful that we have the opportunity to grow our family and I know that one day my girls will be best friends. In the meantime I will take it one day at a time and take Chris’s advice."

Chris Snell

Corinne and Melissa, thank you so much for the comments. I'm glad you found my article to be helpful!

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