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March 04, 2013

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Kellie Saccaro

I am a SAHM and suffer from mom guilt when I do something with friends 2 Fridays in a row! It's in our nature to be the sole provider of our children because we gave birth to them and are ultimately responsible for how they turn out. Each mom has her own way of accomplishing this. Some work for various reasons and others stay home for various reasons... As long as the children have someone who loves them and can take care if them when you cannot, I think they will be great people !

Valerie

Wow! Someone actually is experiencing what I am going through. I have a 2 1/2 year old. I was recently invited to a friend's birthday party. I agonized over going. My friend and sitter - said you take good care of her, she is loved, fed and clothed. You spend time playing with her and when she is sick - you are there for doctor appointments and a mommy pillow while she is sick. You deserve to be in the company of adults once and a while!

Audra

Thank you so much for posting this! It is perfect timing for me. I work part time from home so I can be home when my son is out of school. My husband has a company trip every year of which we have taken our now 7 year old son every year. This is the first year that we are leaving him home with my parents. He has been sick this week and we leave on Friday. I am having SO much "mom guilt". He is excited to hang out with grandma and grandpa so why am I having such a hard time? Love the point of "quality time with the grandkids". Thank you!

Jana

I am sorry to break the news to you, but Mom guilt goes on even when you have raised them to be adults. I too had to work for some of the years when our children were young. I just had to remind myself that having a little responsibility helps them to grow. Being cared for by a grandparent or child care provider helps them to develop people skills. I worked outside the home because it was financially necessary. I just had to do the best I could and let it go. Today, they are all happy normal adults. We have five wonderful children.

Nova

I have no Mom guilt. I do theatre (which includes many rehearsals per week when I have a show) and I go out with friends occasionally. I spend copious amounts of time with my autistic child doing therapy and I spend not-as-copious amounts of time with my neurotypical child on homework, projects, and playing. They have love, shelter, and food. They don't need me to be with them every second.

Claudia

Thank you so much for blogging about this!! I work out of the home super full time as a pediatrician (many overnights away..) and often have severe mom guilt about spending more time with other people's children than my own sweet 1 1/2 year old. It helps to know that other moms are in the same boat-- even those who stay at home!! I like the advice to learn to live with the guilt, rather than ignore or fight it-- As Jana said, I just need to acknowledge it and "let it go". Wishing everyone lots of luck with these difficult feelings!

Fabiana

WOW! Thank you moms out there for this post! I have a 13 month old, she's my first and have never left her side for more than a couple of hours. So now that my husband planned this much needed 4 day trip so we can reconnect as a couple, i was so close to cancelling the trip because what if my mom cant keep her calm at nights, what if she misses me and im away having a good time. but no more! This is quality time for grandma, and she reassures me my baby will have fun and will be ok! SO BACK OFF MOM GUILT! hahaha

Chris

I worked 80% after my now 4 year old was born and stopped after my 19 months old was born. I don't regret it for a second that I stopped working even if it meant financial sacrifices. You won't get the time back when your kids are small. I can honestly say I see the difference in my two kids and I am so glad I get to spend those few precious years with them before school starts etc. I now live overseas and it is actually refreshing to see a culture where being a full-time Mum is valued and no one would think about going back to work after 12 weeks. I think women in the US need to stand up for being Moms and get what they deserve: paid maternity leave, available part-time work and employers who support women.

Sharon

Wow... This is my life right now.. Exactly. I board a plane in the morning for my next meeting. And the mom guilt has gotten out of control so much so that I am strongly considering giving up my career (which I feel I may regret deeply). Thank you for sharing your honest truth. It certainly helps me cope with this crazy world of a traveling career mom. My child is loved and smart and precious and just fine! She will have many opportunities because i work. Go away MOM guilt!

CoffeeMom

I am a first time mom of a 6month old and also work full time as a manager at a well known coffee shop. My husband is wonderful and very helpful but I still feel overwhelmed, unorganized, and guilty when I am not at work or with my baby. I am trying to be present and in the moment wherever I am and not focus on everything else. I try to remember that it about the quality of time not quantity.

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