I want you to meet Stephanie Breedlove, of Breedlove & Associates, now part of the Care.com family. Stephanie and her husband founded this household employment payroll & tax company out of a personal need (wanted to pay nanny taxes) and honestly, I have never met a more engaging tax professional! Here, she shares a real "nanny tax" story every family needs to hear.

During this time of the year, my team hears from many families who have put off key aspects of the household employment process. After being consumed with finding and vetting the ideal nanny, they begin paying her each payday – not realizing there’s more to be done.

We just handled a situation like this for a family in Minnesota. They hired a nanny to care for their two young children last January. Exhausted from a prolonged search and feeling the need to quickly re-focus on their careers, the family hastily got their nanny situated with the kids and went back to work.

The family paid the nanny an agreed-upon wage of $15 an hour for 38 hours per week ($570). They did not withhold any taxes from the nanny's pay or pay any employer taxes. Fast forward to just a few weeks ago, they sat down with their accountant and had to tell him they had paid $29,000 in wages to their nanny during the 2012 tax year.

As you might imagine, this meeting didn’t go very well. The family’s accountant informed them that they had failed to withhold and pay the proper household employment taxes. 

So he sent the family to my team at Breedlove & Associates and we were happy to establish tax IDs for the family, file the overdue quarterly employment tax returns, prepare and distribute a Form W-2 to the nanny, file Form W-2 Copy A with the Social Security Administration and prepare a Schedule H for the family to use with their joint tax return.  Sounds like a lot of work, but we do it all the time!

The point of this story is to alert families that there are some employer obligations.  And, while we can certainly help families play catch-up on their nanny taxes, it’s cheaper and easier to handle them properly at the time of hire.

I realize that nanny taxes are complicated.  As a new mother trying to pay my first household employee "on the books" more than two decades ago, my husband and I learned that the hard way. That’s why we founded our specialty tax agency – to eliminate the work and worry for busy families so they can spend more time with their loved ones.  We’ll be happy to assist your family too. Please take advantage of the free nanny tax resources at www.breedlove.com or give us a call. We’re here to help!

I’d like you to meet Katie. A mom of two preschoolers, Katie is in charge of our site’s articles and resources, and helps create some of our YouTube videos. She is also the Parenting spokesperson for Care.com. Here, she has an interesting take on how real dates versus fake dates.


There was a time when I didn’t believe in Date Night.  Or, I should say, I thought a "date" could be defined as ordering take out and watching a DVD in my PJs. Husband by my side. Kids asleep upstairs.

Sweet, yes. Romantic, hardly.

I don’t know what changed. Maybe it was moving to the suburbs (I needed to get out more!!). Maybe it was having a little bit more money in our budget (or pretending to). Or, maybe it was realizing that eating greasy food in my sweats on both Friday and Saturday nights was not attractive. Yeah, I think it was that one.

So we booked a sitter. And I actually got dressed up – for my husband, and not for work, which I realized was a nice change. Oh, la la. Va va va voom. You get the picture. It was fun.

One year later: Many date nights have been planned. We even have a few sitters on rotation, averaging 2-3 nights out a month. So, I’m in a work meeting the other day and these words actually came out of my mouth: "Date night has saved my marriage." Um, did I just say that? Okay, perhaps it was an exaggeration. My marriage didn’t need "saving." But perhaps my mood did. And I can tell that a date is worth it when I don’t mind shelling out the cash to pay the sitter at the end of the night. She was worth it. Why? I didn’t have to do the bedtime struggle that night. I didn’t have to negotiate vegetable eating or teeth brushing. Instead I laughed and I flirted with my husband.  Yup, she was worth every penny!

So imagine my surprise when I get contacted by Bruce Feiler, author of The Secrets to Happy Families, along with a copy of this new book, and the promotional material on the inside cover of the book says "Cancel date night." Whoa, what?!

So I email the author:

"Bruce, I’m loving the book so far.

[Side note: This was true. There are strategies to make mornings less chaotic; family dinner topics and game ideas; tips on how to fight fair with your spouse -- and an amazing chapter on starting an allowance with your kids that I plan to use when mine are a little older... (but I digress)]

"I’m a working mom of a 4-year old and 2-year old. I live for date night. Plus, I think it’s important that our kids see us devote time to each other [Side note: At least this is what I tell myself.] Why would you suggest canceling it?"

"Katie," he writes, "You should start your OWN blog:  A mom of a 2 and 4 year old who has time to read! There are a few pages on what amounts to cancel the tired-and-out-of-date date night model and replace it with a new-and-improved date night starting on page 158!"

Ahh… the Cliff’s Notes! This author gets better and better. So I promised him I would read the rest of the book but thanked him for the cheat sheet.

Anywho, the book totally backed up my theory that date night is awesome for couples. [A 2012 study from the National Marriage Project showed that couples who have weekly time to themselves are 3.5 more likely to be happy, including sexually happy (thank you page 159!).]

But what it also says is that couples need to mix up their dates a little. He suggests doing an activity like an art class, double dating with other couples, and even going out as a family (mine need to have good table manners, first). The point is to avoid a rut… even a date night rut.

Do you agree? "Like" if you agree that Date Night has helped your marriage or your happiness. And comment if you have other suggestions or feedback. You won’t hurt my mood. I have a date planned for Saturday!

While Jeff C. may be known as the office prankster, he’s also in charge of site analytics around here. But a more important project popped up this year – his daughter, Adelyn. Here, he talks about the stress about being a new dad on Valentine’s Day.

I became a Dad for the first time in November. My goodness, it’s hard! For the past three months I’ve learned how exciting, stressful, disruptive, and beautiful a new baby can be to a house – and to a marriage.  I’ve learned how it can unite us – and still make us feel like we haven’t talked in days.

So I come to you, Care.com readers, seeking advice. See, my wife of 4 years, is also my very best friend of 14 years. And we have always had a pact of never celebrating Valentine’s Day. She hates the holiday. Feels it’s too commercialized. In the past, we haven’t done anything. But this year, I feel we need something.  And I say this, because our dates have been few and far between since our precious and amazing daughter was born. Seriously, when babysitters/family come to help, we seek sleep instead of a nice outing. Or, we run necessary errands. Our last "date night" involved Target, Babies ‘R Us and onesies.

And my wife puts up with so much – mostly from me. While she was in labor, I passed out before the first push. I woke up in time for our daughter Adelyn’s delivery, but we all left the hospital with medical bracelets. I was also covered in poison ivy at our wedding. My wife still has to see me covered in Calamine lotion in all our wedding pictures!

I bring all of this up because I also know that maternity leave is hard. It’s our first baby, and my wife feels a little trapped inside during the coldest of these New England winter days. It’s hard to meet other moms, interact with friends, or get some rest. But I’m the one who gets a ton of compassion after one night, in a sleep-deprived state, I rocked a swaddled bundle of blankets to sleep for over an hour, thinking it was my child, of course! And I get to tell my co-workers that story and feel the new dad sympathy.

But she doesn’t see her co-workers. She doesn’t get a daily affirmation and a daily break. But she does get to see so much more of our daughter, and I know that’s a gift she truly cherishes.

So as I mentioned, we don’t typically celebrate Valentine’s Day, and I think it should be honored this year with a special tribute. Maybe I’ll skip the Thursday celebration which she hates, but get her a massage over the weekend. Tell me what you think: Please "Like" this post if you think that’s a good idea, but post a comment if you have a different suggestion.

I’ve known Rhoda for many years. We met in school back in the Philippines and reconnected when Rhoda was working in California. That’s when I asked her to come work at Care.com. Two years later, she works in our Operations team. This is a letter she has written to her daughter on her 11^th birthday about what it means to be a single mom. It’s beautiful and I applaud Rhoda for sharing it with us today.

Everdearest H.B.,

It is your 11^th birthday today. And I thought I’d write you a letter to explain why our family is different. But if nothing more, I thought I’d remind you just how wonderful you are – and how loved.

You probably wonder at how different your situation is from your friends.  We’ve moved three times. To Zambia. Then California. And now we’re in Boston. And it’s just the two of us. I know it was challenging for you to have to leave your friends, make new ones and then do it all over again. But you did, and you were strong. In fact, sometimes, you were braver than I was (but I never let on at the time!).

I know it’s tough. Particularly, on holidays and special occasions, like today.  You may wonder why they are usually low key. Why you can only invite four friends when others get to invite the whole class. Why I can’t take your friends to the movies or to a restaurant. See, I’m what is called a Single Parent. That means it’s just you and me. We have talked about this before. This does not mean we are less of a family as everyone else, but it does mean our family is different – and, like all the Understanding Our Differences workshops at your school, "different" is ok.  It certainly doesn’t mean you are any less loved. We just have to learn that sometimes, less means more. Remember how you and your close friends at school like to be called, "weird" because you have an understanding that it means, "weird but in a good way"?  Well, you can say our family is "weird" like that too. Weird in all the wonderful ways. 

How? Just think how fortunate we are to have Grandma helping us out. She not only looks after you but also teaches you about our culture and language (remember the Filipino words and phrases book she got you?). She teaches you how to be polite and keep yourself safe. She keeps you connected to your cousins, uncles and aunts and other family. And think about your awesome friends and our amazing neighbors who take care of and look out for you. Cherish being able to go to school, having a warm bed and food on the table. It is the simple things, which we sometimes don’t think about. These are the true gifts that mean so much. 

We have come quite a way, Kiddo. Remember how you beat all the boys in your group in fencing?  Or, how you sang a solo in "We Are the World" in front of your whole school?  Remember how after reciting a poem you wrote about New York, your teacher said, "Did you go to college and back?"  Sometimes I think our unique partnership gives you an independence and bravery other kids might not have.

Either way, you are blessed. And you are the biggest blessing in my life. I know your dream is to be the first girl to play on the New England Patriots. And I just I shake my head and worry about your safety as you run off and play football with your friends. You and me babe. We’re both a little "weird"—"but in a good way."

Have a wonderful birthday!

All my love,

Mommy