I'm Sick of It

Sorry...but I found this cover shot disgusting. If a woman is still breast feeding a child at this age, then she has some major mental issues....Get real!

Well said and thank you.

Jsut call me Mom. I have been every type of Mom mentioned, as a Mom we all know that being adaptable is one of our many strengths as women and moms. I agree that we have to stop the judgement we wield like a sledge hammer at one another. Remember, our children are watching. Step back and look at the bigger picture, that mom who has made whatever decision is, in the majority of cases, doing what she sees as best for her children. I have many friends; stay at home, working, helicopter, permissive moms, I know them all and learn from their parenting styles. The world we live in is not black and white and our opinions shouldn't be either.. As you support and raise your fellow mommys up, your community is lifted as well. Lovel and support wins every time.

Well, said. When I divorced my husband 32 years ago and my daughter was two, I was like a second class citizen. My daughter was in a preschool, while I worked full time, where there were only books and stories of traditional families, with a mommy and a daddy. It was difficult.
I think society has become more accepting of single moms and more understanding of the challenges they face every day.

Thank you, I appreciate your rebuttal to Time. This time I'm less offended by the cover because a) if my kids can say it, they are NOT doing it and b) I already know (and more importantly my 3 wonderful boys know) that YES-I am Mom enough.
Along with their incredible Dad we provide the best we can for them. WHATEVER that means. If we were living in a house made of cow dung smack in the middle of our neighborhood I'm sure it would raise some eyebrows but that is how people live in other parts of the world.
Point is we try to do the best we can for our family here in our little urban world. It is all relative. We are all different human beings and it is inevitable that what works for one will not work for another. Just like I tell my 3 boys, just because your brother does...doesn't mean you have to. You are 3 different people.
I also feel sorry for the boy on the cover of that magazine…but if he is raised to be a likable adult, GREAT!

I agree with you in almost every aspect except the part about the teenage version of this preschooler never living this cover down. There have been many children on many controversial Time covers over the years, and no one remembers who they are or even what the controversies are, after the discussion simmers down.

I am an extended breast feeder and an AP parent, and I LOATHE this cover. The aggressive stance of the mother, the detachment from her child, the practical dare/taunt in the title... it all rubs me the wrong way. Not to mention, Time seems to have purposely found the tiniest mother with the oldest looking three-year old ever, as though to make a point that all moms nursing toddlers/preschoolers look as though they're nursing third graders. Had the cover had the mom in the manner moms usually breastfeed, sitting down, holding him, it would have been better. However, we still would have the issue of her slowly and that damn headline.

Just one day after a female write in Forbes asked women to stop the Mommy Wars, Time throws down bigger ammo. And we women snatched it up like Tributes in The Hunger Games cornucopia. We can't let them do this to us for the sake of selling magazine covers. We shouldn't do it to each other.

Perfection in journalism. Woman eat their own kind. Live & let live. Thank you for your uplifting moment in my crummy day!

Anyone who acknowledges "value" in co-sleeping, post-infancy breastfeeding, 'helicopter' parenting and so on as an advocate for wanting children to be 'strang and confident', 'want them to know how much we love them', ad nauseum, has themselves been sorely misled by propaganda hype.

- "We should be working together as mothers ..."
- "We all want ..."
- "We are working ..."
- "We want strong relationships with our children."

EXCUSE ME?!?!?!
Who is this 'we'?

Not once did you mention husbands, fathers, male role models, etc.
Where's the desire for a strong relationship and bonding with your husband? Working together with the father?

You yourself are pandering to the very things you superficially are railing against in this article behind a facade of love and care for kids. Shame on you.

Thats what I thought. That poor boy is going to have a rough way to go from all the other kids and others in his life. That woman selfishly got that boy branded tittybaby for life

I love what you said....this is exactly how I feel too...I understand how in some countries it is OK to breastfeed till the kid is 8 yrs, I have no issue with that...I have two kids and for reasons I dont wish to discuss, I did not breatsfeed either for more than two months...it was my personal choice and I can tell you, I was judged....by my husband, by friends at work and home, by my pediatrician....I had to keep myself steady and not let anyone affect me....I am a good mom and just because I did not do as they say doesn't change it, I will go to any length to make sure my kids get what they need to be healthy and a good human being.....but each kid is different and so is each mom, we all have our strengths and we should try to use our strengths to get the best for our kids rather than sulking over what we can't do....

I love your post and think you are exactly right! When I first saw the cover I was upset! If that's what it takes to make me a good mom then I guess I failed! I'm the mommy to a beautiful 3 yeard old boy that I was unable to breastfeed because he was 3 months pemature and my milk didn't fully come in without that close daily contact with him. I wasn't even able to hold him for the first week of his life does that make me a bad mom too? Of course not! I must admit I still haven't read the article and I'm not sure will. My Husband and I are pregnant with out second son (due in August) and I will probably breastfeed this baby if all goes well bit don't feel my relationship with one child will be closer to one child than the other. My kids will both be loved the same, and I don't think my love is dependent on whether they are breast or formula fed, or sleep in bed with us or their own crib, or are cloth or disposible diapered. I don't judge how others mother and don't expect to be judge in return.

Thank you for your comments, well said and I couldn't agree more. It is sad that putting a photo of a woman's breast in a child's mouth is the way media needs to get the hype they need, but then again, what power we women have I guess! I'd like to see what happens if we put a half naked man out there with a little girl sucking on a bottle, probably not much. We women have power even when we think we are being exploited. Women are amazing in all that we do wether it be bearing children or working to put food in our families mouths, you hear more about it when women do it, then men, so in this war, we win. Yay us.

I am a new mom who wanted to breastfeed but was unable to. I worked with my family doctor, my son's pediatrician, and two lactation consultants and was still never able breastfeed due to supply issues, so when I saw this magazine cover I was taken back by it. Not only by the photo (which does seem innappropriate to me) but by the headline. I agree that it was meant to pit moms against each other...like, who is the better mommy? I don't know about other moms, but I find that my mom-friends are a great resource and support system and I don't think we should be comparing ourselves to each other and ,therefore, adding to our daily guilt and stress. Thank you to Sheila for sending this blog to everyone. I am glad to know that I am not the only one that felt that way.

I am so glad you wrote this because I had the *exact* same reaction. I thought what does this mother's choice have to do with me? Why is this an either or scenario? The title on the cover felt very manipulative. Luckily, I am too busy to worry about whether or not some Time editor thinks I'm mom enough. I want to support parents in their journey, not tear them down. This kind of dialogue doesn't help anyone.

My second child was 14 weeks premature, and while I ended breast feeding with my first child at 10 months, I continue to breastfeed my second child at 16 months (13 months corrected). Breastfeeding is beneficial and natural. Gods miracle food. It adjust to just what your baby needs. Formula didn't always exist and it isn't good for every baby (all babies can't tolerate it).. To many people in our American culture are closed-minded. In many other cultures in other countries, babies are breastfed for what seems like forever, the children are always kept close to the mother, and may sleep with the parents and/or other siblings. To me, it's just developing a very strong bond. These children are no less productive as adults and in fact may be even more so.

Then today, we wonder why children are so detached and families so separated.

See I didn't see this article and cover as asking if I was mom enough to breastfeed, but if I am mom enough to stand up in front of every person in this world and say - "This is what "I" choose to do for MY child. This is MY choice. This is what "I" believe in." The world has gotten extremely judgmental as of lately. And society is attempting to make choices either for us, or force parents - especially new parents - into decisions.

So, to answer TIME's question. YES, I AM MOM ENOUGH to tell the world that...
I Breastfeed, anywhere, anytime.
I believe in child led weaning - had one that was always on the go, he weaned at 15 months. But my two year old, is a different child and still nursing strong.
I co-sleep - more babies die from Crib related accidents each year than co-sleeping. So, yes, I feel comfortable with that choice.
I DO NOT Circumcise. For many reasons - though one being more babies die each year from circumcisions than they do from SIDS, or choking, or car accidents.
I space out my children's vaccinations and some I don't do at all. Not because of media hype and autism, but for the simple fact that I don't believe we have all the facts, I don't believe their little bodies were meant to handle all those chemicals at once, and some I believe weakens their immune system before it strengthens it.

I am mom enough that I would share my beliefs with the world and so go ahead - criticize me, but my child will turn out amazing and yours will learn to be judgmental and not open minded to the beliefs of others.
I am mom enough to say go ahead, ask me anything, I'll happily tell you why it works for me, and beyond wishing that more parents would breastfeed for the 1st year or at least attempt to try and that more parents would realize that circumcision is dangerous and merely cosmetic (and I don't see babies getting nose jobs to look more like dad), that this is what works for me, and it may not work for you. But at least have the courage enough to stand up and advocate for your child and be willing to tell the world...
"I AM MOM ENOUGH!"

Here's what *IM* sick of... mommy bloggers who can't see past their FIVE minutes of fame to see how what they write/post about their child will haunt them in future years. That cover? When that boy is in middle school, some other boy will find it and he will NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT. Why can't mommy bloggers realize that the internet is forever searchable, people. Just because you want your fame and your crappy free stuff, doesn't mean you ruin your child's middle school social life.

This cover was meant to sensationalize, nothing more. I wish they would have done a better job trying to educate and shed light on this sensitive subject, but of course nothing matters but dollars...
Just an FYI: I BF my older son till he was 3 (he's now almost 8 - I weaned when I felt we were both ready). I'm currently BF my second son who turned 2 in January. I only discuss it with people if they ask/the subject comes up. It is really nobody's business but mine. Yes, I have breastfed outside, in restaurants and airplanes. I do it discreetly and make no big deal out of it. I have never had a problem.
As to the question: are you mom enough? that does not even warrant an answer. I'm sure a mother did not come up with it.

My only feeling abt "attachment moms" is that if thy continue to breast feed their kids any longer, the kids will end up having severe attachment issues - with their girl friends / spouses later in their lives. They will find it tough to cut the apron strings. The right time to wean would be before they take memories of it into adulthood - so I would say 2-2.5 yrs.

I agree that all moms have their own way of parenting and we all need to get along...and butt out, frankly. But honestly, there are situations where I won't let my kids go to a friend's house because of the way their parents behave. I recently had a friend of my daughter's over, and her mom and older brother came. The mom didn't let me know the older brother was coming, and he's 9 and my oldest is 7, so had I known I would have gotten out more age-appropriate things. Anyway, the older child was extremely destructive, attempting to crash my son's bike into our fence, trying to physically reach in our pond and grab our fish, and when his mother said anything to him to try and stop his behavior, he told her to "shut up", called her "stupid", and ultimately grabbed her arm and pulled it behind her back!! He was a very big 9 yr old, as well, so the situation was very disturbing to me. Also, the daughter kept throwing fit after fit, wanting to pull my daughter's clothes out of her dresser and closet and "try them on" (not the "dress-up" clothes, the princess dresses, etc., but her actual clothing)...and continued to throw a fit until her mom actually looked at me and said, "Can she just get some things out?" O_o.

I'm not judging her....she's obviously in a tough situation with their father deployed right now and she needs to get a grip on discipline in that house. When your children are telling you to shut up and physically attacking you, there's a major problem. But while it's her issue, I'm also not going to allow my child to go to their house and #1) be around a child like that brother who is physically combative and may hurt younger children and the mom obviously can't stop him and #2) learn that throwing a fit and calling your mother names is the way to get things.

Obviously all moms need to respect one another's decisions and methods of parenting, but isn't there a point when it would be HELPFUL to confront a mom? I'd like to help this mother out, but I'm afraid if I say something she'll just get offended and stop speaking to me. She obviously needs some assistance, particularly with the older one, so can't moms also speak up to assist one another? Not judging is one thing....going silent while real problems are going on is totally another thing.

BTW, I breast-fed all three of my kids, but not for the whole first year. To judge a mom over breastfeeding, co-sleeping, those things are intensely personal and should be no one's business, IMO.

I don't have much of an opinion on this except that it's typical sensationalistic journalism, but I did want to offer some advice to moms who have trouble with milk production. I nursed for 2 years and worked full time, so I did a lot of pumping in the early months. My midwife told me to drink fenugreek tea, and it really works! It's a common herb in Africa (where they do nurse for many years). I didn't buy the pre-packaged stuff - just bought it from the bulk section of the grocery store and steeped a couple of tablespoons in hot water. It doesn't taste great, but works very well and quickly. Mother Nature always provides!!

This is perfect! As a first-time mom to a 10 month old...I am definitely not "mom enough" according to societal standards, but in my daughter's eyes, I am. She loves me and is well taken care of and nurtured. Who really cares how I choose to raise her (aside from my husband)? My child, our lives. It shouldn't affect the naysayers.... so to heck with other people and do what's best for you and your child/children!

As a woman who is 36 weeks pregnant with her first child, I find the simple question, "Are you mom enough?," quite degrading. First-time moms have enough brewing in their minds and to ask that question is insulting. I have yet to meet my new bundle of joy and people are already questioning my parenting and motherhood? I'm going to do the same as my mother did, the best damn job that I can. Her love and support still carries me today and I never once thought about the fact that I wasn't breastfed. Women should do what they feel is best and go with it. Period.

If you want the "Mommy Wars" to go away then agreeing to disagree is not enough. "Agreeing to disagree" is what people do when they decide the other person and position is not worth their time. There are many different ways to raise a child - some will formula feed, some will breastfeed and formula feed, some will breastfeed only for a month or two or a year or 4. Instead of agreeing to disagree SUPPORT EVERYONE! Of course, breastfeeding is best but formula is very good too. My question for you all is "Are you MOM ENOUGH to recognize that being a mother means doing what is best for YOUR child?"

I am an extended nurser, by the way. My three kids have nursed 3 years, 2 years and 3 years 364 days. *smile* No way would I have posed for a picture like that BUT do you know something? Half the time when I nursed the older children - cuddled up to me and NOTHING visible - I would get looks that made me FEEL like I was doing what that woman was doing. I LOVE the picture. You know why? Because I would like to ask you: when have you ever seen one of us DOING that? Never! But it made me realize something: why should I feel like discretely nursing my 2 year old was like that? why do people feel a need to make others feel like they are sinful for um, nursing?

The answer is that we don't. We do it out of our own insecurity. What that woman did was in our faces yes... but why should it be? Shouldn't we question why we are bothered by it? Honestly.. the only thing sexual about the picture is that it has a confident woman on the cover... she is not moueing at the camera or touching herself or doing anything other than saying, I will not be ashamed of this.

So, formula feeders STAND UP like her: say it together - I will not be shamed!

Combo feeders and Pumpers - STAND UP like her: say it together - I will not be shamed!

BFers: say it together - I Will not be shamed!

If the child is being hurt, STAND AGAINST IT! but if it is just a different form of feeding, love, nourishing, etc... Why can we not do more than "agree to disagree"? Why cant we support each other? I don't get it.

If you're not judging re-read your first paragraph. This is exactly what Time's wanted. Keep your mouths closed and raise your kids the way you want. How about if you're choices were put in light and then blew up by everybody who disagreed with you. LET IT BE FOR HEAVENS SAKE!

I'm not buying it. I'm not reading it. I hope enough people do likewise that the dinosaur of TIME magazine can be relegated to the museum of thoroughly forgotten print media history.

When I opened my email this morning an saw an email from Sheila Marcelo (who?) and the subject line "Why You Are "Mom Enough""...I was curious. What I wasn't expecting was for the founder and CEO to use her company care.com as a platform for an opinion piece on a controversial (still don't understand why) magazine cover. I am beyond irritated. I don't mind getting emails and even blog entries about stuff that would be related to the COMPANY...not off the wall opinion stuff from the CEO. If you have a personal blog site...use that, it's more appropriate. Sheila is feeding into the "mommy war" hype by using words such as "pity" and "What does it mean to be "Mom Enough" in your eyes?"...the article is so hypocritical. With our attention spans...this will be long and forgotten within the week and everyone will jump on another bandwagon to share their opinion with the world. In the meantime...I will be adding this company to my "do not use" list, because frankly, I think it's ridiculous to keep the churning the pot when you really don't have anything worthwhile to say on the subject matter and you're really just pitting women against each other...may not have been the intention, but read the comments. And to any mom who judges another...I would love to be a fly on your wall for 24 hours and see how "PERFECT" you do things...

Here's some harsh judgment for you: You can tell how rational, kind and well-balanced a person is by how strongly they react to this issue. The more strong and defensive the reaction (e.g. "These women at SICK" "At what point does it become sexual abuse?" "I wasn't breastfed and I was healthier than any of my friends at school"), the less sane the person.

Chillax people!

Here's something to gross out the anti-BF crowd and to amuse the rest of you. I stopped BFing my son around age 3 when he began to use me as a beverage. He would eat a cookie and then want to wash it down with breast milk leaving me with sticky crumbs on my breast. Yuck! I showed him how mother cats wean their kittens (we had recently rescued a mother cat). When she got tired of nursing she kicked and gently bit her kittens whenever they tried to get close. He thought it was funny when I would pretend to do the same to him. Over a couple of months of joking around like that, he eventually self-weaned.

I'll bet there will be some grossed-out or horrifed responses to this post.

I hope not - we have so much more to offer each other as mothers. I am cool with any mother who is doing her best and being her most loving self with her children. We all doubt ourselves sometimes as moms, it comes with the job. We really don't need anyone else to pile on. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Having said that allow me to apologize for my initial harsh judgment. I guess you guys are trying your best too. My bad!

I have no issues with the picture, other than I think they chose that one for the most "shock" value.

what I really take issue with is the "mom enough" statement. I detest the mommy wars, having been on many sides in many different "roles" as mother. I really do wish we'd all just agree to disagree, to quit judging each other, but instead to SUPPORT each other. As you said, we are all just trying to do our best, but when we are constantly told that our best is really the worst, how are we supposed to feel? Just because I breastfed my son until he was 18 months, in some eyes I did wrong because I did so too long, and in other eyes I did wrong because it wasn't long enough!! But for us, it was *just right*.

Stop hating on each other, start LOVING. Isn't that what we want our kids to do? To be accepting and loving of others?? We need to start setting a better example by accepting and loving others ourselves!!

Whenever I compare myself to other people, I tend to find myself lacking. There will always be someone more _____ (you fill in the blank). If I try to shore up that particular area in which there is some perceived lack - next week there willsobs some new area that is highlighted, and off I'll go again on the never ending pursuit of "enoughness". This is a "no-win" situation, so I try to stay away from this game. The Truth is I am enough right now. Am I perfect? No - one of us are! But I am enough, and you are enough, and she is enough, and he is enough. I am. It talking about those parents whose behaviors are actually causing real harm. I'm talking about those parents who love their kids and do the very best they know how. Those parents who make honest mistakes, who make the necessary corrections, those parents who give all they have for those they love.

This is controversy for the sake of selling magazines - not an honest assessment of parents or different parenting styles. During mother's day week, Time magazine could have chosen to honor mothers and fathers too, acknowledging the increasing challenges we all face everyday to do right by our families. Instead they chose to reare. Ontroversy to increase magazine sales. I don't fault them - this is their business. But let's it confuse it for anything more than it is.

I think breastfeeding is wonderful. I do believe in modesty and privacy though. I think women should be allowed and comfortable breastfeeding anywhere, but I think they should be as discreet as possible. Just as I believe women should be modest in dress when they aren't breastfeeding. I also believe it is best for kids to be weaned from bottles and breast shortly after 1 yr of age. I really don't think babies need to drink a bottle after 1, my own children threw it on the floor after taking a couple of sips. They were too interested in discovering the world to sit and drink a bottle for too long after one because they were being nourished with solid food. I think we are creating kids who are less independent by carrying on bottles and breast past one. I don't think a 3 yr old should have a bottle, so it follows, I don't think they should have breast either.

I agree whole heartedly. This war against women and the seperation from each other is nothing more than a divide and conquer tactic . We need to stand togwther as woman and mothers. We can not be judging ourselves and others through the mysongyisttic view of patriarchial tyranny.
It takes a village to raise a child. Let's come together and heal this disease that has plagued our world for so long. We are the sustainers and nurturers of the earth. Let's love ourselves and our bodies and beings together with our fellow sisters. We are that powerful.

Thank you so much for posting this blog. This article and cover were meant to divide us yet again on another topic of "how best to parent". While I would not choose to breastfeed my child past 1 years old, I realize that child rearing is all about choices. As a mom, I am often worried whether I am making the right choices and am finally realizing that as long as I surround my children with love, then you can never really make a bad choice. What this article did do, was make me look for other opinions on the matter, just so that I could understand both points of view. It doesn't seem that these women breastfeed for the nutritional value of the breastmilk, but more for the nurturing and bond it brings, as well as that the child is soothed by it. We all nurture and soothe our children in different ways. This isn't the way that I would choose to do it, but then again, some parents wouldn't make some of the same decisions that I would. And its all about choice, right?

It's none of our business. What I find funny is why any one cares. This is what CNN wants, people talking about something that doesn't matter instead of the homeless and people dying from lack of access to health care.

I am an advertising professional and think the cover did a great job at selling magazines- the ultimate goal. I was disappointed after reading the article inside, which in my opinion, fell flat. However, the emotionally charged mommy reactions as a result of the cover do help tell a great story:

While I agree 100% that it is about not judging other moms, the outcome of this article more so points out that we need to be much more CONFIDENT in the choices we make. We (moms) need to understand that the choices we make are right for us and not necessarily everyone else, and that's okay! We need to not be influenced by others that disagree or make different choices. And in the end, if we are still bothered by other people's comments and other people's choices, we need to re-evaluate just how confident and right we feel about the decisions we are making.

I am a working mom and I'm okay with that! I breastfed for 10 months and in 2 months the boy is getting cut off! And I'm okay with that! When his toys fall on the floor almost anywhere, I don't abide by the 10 second rule, I abide by the 3 minute rule and I'm okay with that too! Point is, these are MY choices and I feel good about them otherwise I would not make them.

I don't need other women's support or society's support. All the support I need is my little guy's smile...if he smiling then all is right and good in the world.

Thanks for posting. The Time cover is a mind f### in many ways. 1. Moms feel all kinds of real and false guilt enough: we don't need Time shoving it down our throats. 2. Because there is no motherly love in this photo (snuggling, cradling) it is meant to be sexual: its meant to make you have to think too hard about the subject. 3. Maybe the cover is not so much about parenting as much as it is meant to say, "you are going to be sucking off the govt for the rest of your life!"
PS. nursed my first four kids, couldn't nurse my fifth child b/c she's adopted. Love them all, and they all love me. End of guilt!

I totally agree. Every mom according to me wants the very best for her child and whatever ways and strategies she adopts to help move towards that goal should be left to her discretion. She should be referred to as a mom and not branded with different names based on what rules she makes or what consequences she gives to her children. Moms in today's world have enough battles to deal as it is from their environment while raising ttheir children. So being picked and torn apart for every single thing they do through their efforts is the last thing they ever deserve!!

why can't they pump and "bottle" feed? If it is for the nutrition. I think we can find other ways to bond after a certain age. (This from someone who has a degree in family therapy.) I could only breast feed for 3 months and that was pushing it, just could not produce the milk. I feel very bonded and connected to my child. There are other ways to bond.

RIDICULOUS! ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH FOR WHAT? I'D LIKE TO SEE THE "ARE YOU FATHER ENOUGH?" COVER - HOW WOULD THAT BE PORTRAYED? STOP THE INSANITY. I AGREE, SHEILA, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

"Working Mother" is a misnomer. Do we say "Working Father"? Why not? Working and Parenting are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. "Working Woman" is more appropriate. If you are a mother, you are a mother, mother, mother, mother, period, whether you work or not.

What's the point of girls studying in school, going to a good college and paying thousands of student debt if they are going to graduate, get married, and quit working? The point of college is to get trained to do a JOB not LIVE. How do I look my daughter in the eye and tell her "study hard!" if she's never going to work? She'd be better off investing the college tuition!

THE POINT IS.................OUR WORLD NEEDS MODERN SOLUTIONS TO WORK SCHEDULES AND DAYCARE AND NANNIES AND COMMUNITY STRATEGIES SO WOMEN AND MEN CAN PURSUE FAMILIES AND CAREER PURSUITS WITHOUT "GIVING UP" ONE OR THE OTHER. I KNOW SO MANY "STAY AT HOME WOMEN" WHO ARE READY TO PULL THEIR HAIR OUT, ARE SO BORED, AND LOVE THEIR CHILDREN AND THEIR HUSBANDS AND CANNOT FIND A WAY OUT!

WHY ISN'T THERE A TAX WRITEOFF FOR DAYCARE MORE THAN $5000 PRETAX BENEFIT? HOW ABOUT A COMPANY TAX WRITEOFF FOR OFFERING A 3 OR 4 DAY WORK WEEK TO WORKING PARENTS (NOT JUST MOTHERS, PARENTS!) THERE ARE SO MANY CREATIVE WAYS TO REWORK OUR TAX CODE TO HELP ALLEVIATE THE FINANCIAL BURDEN OF CHILDCARE SO PARENTS CAN BOTH WORK IF THEY WANT TO.

Really quick: someone posed the question "is it possible to hug your children too much?" Listen, I've known people who were neglected and I've known people who were coddled too much, and neither made for a pretty sight. On one hand, you could possibly have difficulty relating and bonding to people, be abrasive or harsh in your relationships with others etc... On the opposite end of the spectrum, you've got kids who think they are entitled to everyone's undivided attention, who think it should be about them and their wants and needs all of the time, and have a total meltdown at the slightest crease of the eyebrow. Yes, I've known and cared for several children like that.

But those are isolated incidences that we can't truly base our parenting on, right? I mean, ultimately, we have to educate ourselves as best we can and do what we think is best for our individual and unique children.

As for the cover of the magazine: I'm all for making people uncomfortable and challenging current perceptions and thoughts, and the cover and title certainly does that. But I agree with the author above who feels like it puts women against one another. It promotes the whole "super mom" concept where you've got to be the perfect wife, mother, and employee out there.

I personally am unable to ever experience what breastfeeding is like, but I feel that I can accurately speak for myself in saying that breastfeeding is definitely something that I think is private, personal, and intimate. Something about the way the woman is positioned and clothed with the older boy hanging from her breast makes it seem like just one more chore that a woman's gotta fit into her schedule. It almost seems disrespectful to women, both those who choose to breastfeed and those who don't. Parenting is exhausting (I'm a foster parent, so I get it, believe me, and there are aspects of parenting that really are a chore (I absolutely hate morning and bedtime routines, and pass them off to my husband as often as I can), but I think that if you've chosen to parent, that your relationship with your child is more than just a checklist on your daily schedule (which, to me, is how I read the picture). And if you are a woman who feels that it's intimate, you've got this very private and personal experience splattered across the front of the magazine for everybody to offer their two cents about. Like I said, I'm all for challenging perceptions and pushing people outside of their comfort zones, but this image does seem a little insensitive.

The reaction to the cover annoys me. We are the only country that weans as early as we do. Why? Because the breast are sexualized. So it is "pervert" or "a sin" to use our bodies as God intended. The cover has made it hard for me to nurse my 7 week old in public because of peoples stares. I have decided that every bottle feeder that stares at me (several friends) I am going to "ew" and act like the have three eyeballs everytime they pull out a bottle and tell them it offends me and to put it away. It is every moms choice how to feed her child. There is not right or wrong way!

Nothing short of child porn.
There's a certain age when breast feeding turns into incest.
If Time was trying to "shock", well this cover does it!!!!
I will no longer support Time/Time Life

She does this to controll how calories are used in her body. So long as she she keeps breastfeeding the pink nose puppies will stay plump she will stay thin and ol junior will get fed to. I can't blame her I guess. as weird as this is.

So, some people are saying a kid is too old when she/he "can ask for it". A kid asks for food, drink & other stuff & a parent will instinctively give food, drinks, etc. to their child. A child needs to nurse until she/he is ready to wean. So, why allow your child other nurishments she/he wants, but deny breastfeeding? Is it because it's "taboo"? Who cares what others think or say about a breastfeeding child's age. As a parent, I will give my child the best I can & the most of it. If that means until my child is 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...who cares. It's the mother & child's choice. By the way, breast milk never expires, is always available, is at perfect temperature, etc. Sure, there are some instances where bottle feedin is necessary, but formula isn't the only option of bottle feeding.

I was shocked to see this in my inbox. As a mother who had no idea what type of mother i would be, having been adopted at 9 days old being the eldest of 4 siblings all adopted out of different families and none as lucky as I to be adopted in at the young age of 9 days, they suffered much abuse and had issues that made life a little wild on my position as a built in babysitter. enough to where my adoptive mother into a lifetime of extended care after having ECT treatments... I have since found my birth mother of which i have a strong bond with alongside my mother who raised me
{on a bottle} and i turned out fine...
I had no plan of ever resorting to c-section after 40 hours of labor and having my first born sucked out of my pelvis thru my tummy. i never dreamed i would have an issue with breastfeeding after that trauma and would wear a necklace with formula around my neck with tubes taped to my nipples to stimulate milk flow while giving him nutrition..
and now almost six years later did I ever PLAN to be still breastfeeding his younger sister who is almost 4 (only before bed while we read books). This is not something I feel I want to flaunt. My close friends dont even know this, for lack of the topic being discussed nor something we do in public anymore. Sure, I battle with the idea society surrounding me has of it being WEIRD and letting it go naturally as her and I {who are the ones concerned} are fine with it. It feels bonding and safe and loving to her and I have a hard time forcing her to end before she is ready, as i am sure she will be soon. We talk about it and think it is almost harder to force stop with communication. Do I feel this makes me "Mom Enough?"..HELL NO! do any of us ever feel like there is nothing we can do better or bad for things we are not doing enough. We all do the best we can and deserve support for all of it. Lack there of is EXACTLY why moms go CRAZY. Support. Support Love Love. Live. Learn. Observe. Listen. We all have strengths and weaknesses. lets illuminate the strengths in each other. Loose the competition.

I am a mom of 2 girls .. one being 3 and the other 1. I never breastfed either of them. I know that breastfeeding carries a lot of nutrients for the child. With my 3 yr old, I just couldn't bring myself to do it and she is perfectly healthy. My 1yr old was born 8 weeks early and was just not an option..being in the NICU for a month.. But if a mother does want to breast feed her child as well as breastfeeding them until they are way past the time to do so, who are we to judge them? Yes, it does grabs people attention..just like the mom in "Grown Ups" who breastfed her child until he was 4.. To me, its really none of my business what other moms do. I really only care how my children are.. The picture on Time was disturbing but that's all it was .. Banding moms together and unite?? Really?? I am a mom and I adore my girls. Just like all the other moms out there; whether they breastfed or not .. Who cares if they breastfeed, bottle feed; if they are working moms or stay at home moms.. as long as you love your children, care for your children.. in the end, that's all that matters?

SENSATIONALISM-Websters defination:The use of strongly emotional subject matter or wildly dramtic style,language or artistic expression , that is intended to shock, startle,thrill excite,etc.

I quit reading remarks after about the 5th one. TIME made alot of money off of this cover as well as the photogapher and people in the picture. Is this really a lactating mother? is this photoshop? Would a real mother exploit such an intimate bonding moment. Let's talk about that.
Instead of talking about when or how long a mother should breast feed. Don't know that the AMA endorsed anything on the subject or even in the magazine. What about that?
Women and/or Mothers are always under fire about something. Powerful or powerless??? Mommy Wars? What coporate drop out thought this up?? Apparently someone who thought we needed to talk amongst ourselves as to wether we are the best. Don't worry about being best. Worry about proper care, nutrition, health care, day care,Good Parenting, Health formation of your children's mental and emotional needs and education, Spritual formation. All in all at the end of the day that is what matters. Is your child safe, secure? Is your home calm and comforting are you doing all you can to be a good parent to your child/ren? You only need to be the best to them, no one else. Tune into your children not your need to be the best in the world that surrounds you.
Mothers should remember that they are shaping the next generation. What you put into them you will get out of them. Remember most of us will be around to see how that turns out.
I raised 2 boys and I am now at age 55 raising my grandson of 23 months. He is truly a blessing from God to me. During the time of raising my boys all I could work on was providing for them and giving them a good home as I will with my grandson. Hope you all will also. Take care of what is important. Get good information from professionals/experts. Listen and compare. Then share with others...another word we forgot the meaning of: Share(SYN)To use, enjoy or possess in common with others and generally connotes a giving or receiving a part of something...here knowledge or experience.

Oh good, so I am not the only one raging on about how much damage this cover does...I get the sensationalism, I get they want to sell magazines but it just sends a terrible message...thanks for being brave enough to call them out!

It's ok to judge parents. Some really are bad. Got to pay attention so you can notice and do something.

Thank you, Sheila, for this blog. I wish I had time to read every post but I don't have the time.

Totally agree with Olivier that the picture does not depict breastfeeding. As a man, I would maybe laugh over the image of porn star with non-milk boobs with latched boy who might be doing (or thinking of) anything but feeding. However, the smile on my face would freeze as I realize how much stir up it causes between women, adding fire into Mommy War. Yes, most of the comments are by women.

I believe that there is no universal rigt way of raising children. It is the way parents choose (mother and father) because they think this is the best. We have to be tolerant with different approaches. Any discussions should serve as eye-opening not blaming each other. Thanks.