I was recently interviewed for Cookie Magazine and one of the questions was how Ron (my husband) and I divide up our chores and other family responsibilities. We don’t always agree, but after 18 years we’ve gotten into a routine. However, I do still hear these sorts of funny comments from girlfriends (keeping all sources anonymous, of course!):
“My definition of clean is just different from my husband’s.”
“I really have two jobs—at work and a special title at home: Chief Household Officer.”
Says one working mom, “I wish I had my own ‘housewife… No, house-husband!”
Does that sound familiar to you?
Ron and I have learned how to split up the duties at home—not that we haven’t had our fair share of conflicts along the way! Now we have a system for sharing the workload when it comes to the kids, my parents, our dogs, and our home.
For me: I do the bills (although this past year, we’ve started doing it together—progress!), wash laundry, manage the kids’ activity schedule, organize the family calendar, care for my parents, and hire care providers for the kids and home. And, like most wives, I give Ron friendly reminders to do his share—I’m sure he thinks I’m “nagging.”
Ron’s responsibilities: He takes care of all of Adam’s sports activities (he actually coaches every team our little guy plays on: lacrosse, baseball, and football), does trash detail, walks the dogs, and keeps track of car maintenance.
And we do share some other responsibilities like cooking, washing the dishes, grocery shopping, errands, and home maintenance.
Over the years, we’ve hammered out a good balance of how to divide the chores, but it’s never easy to do. And it seems especially difficult when it comes to the dreaded cleaning tasks!
Recently, I came across a book that takes the chore battle to another level—I’d Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper. The book is a marriage guide to life after children, but the tongue-in-cheek title caught my attention and gave me the idea for our next blog giveaway…
We want to know what would you trade for a housekeeper? Would you give up your favorite pair of jeans? Would you swap a beloved photo album for some outside help? Would you actually trade your hubby (maybe that’s too extreme!)?
Let us know what you’d trade for a housekeeper and why… we’ll pick five winners from the comments. First prize will win $200 to use for a housekeeper and four runners-up will win a copy of the book. Not bad, right?
Good luck! Now tell me what you’d trade!
I would trade my cat for a housekeeper! :) He is my favorite cat in the world, but man...he can bug!!!
Posted by: Andrea Gamez | July 29, 2009 at 09:48 AM
I am the housekeeper, the mother, the father, the worker, and you name it -- I am it! But I would'nt trade this for the world!.
Sincerely,
Leah
Posted by: Leah C | July 29, 2009 at 09:58 AM
I don't have a husband to trade -
But I'd trade my pot-bellied pig, BB (sorry, Beebs, I just need some help here!)
Things are piling up on me as I've spent Seven months traveling back & forth Mostly in Texas, helping out with Hurricane Ike disaster relief...
Have not caught up since May either. Thank God Florida stayed quiet so far
I also got educated about Alzheimer's/Dementia so that I can present a Brain Health seminar series for south Florida. (and who knows where next!)It's never too soon to start working toward extended brain health so that we don't "go there" or delay it as long as possible. I realized one person really CAN make a difference and I will!
I can sure use some help to catch up on my chores in the meantime.
Posted by: Doreen Campbell | July 29, 2009 at 09:59 AM
If I could trade anything at all for a housekeeper it would have to be my autographed picture of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. I figure that I've had those 2 around my house for the past 30 years and they haven't lifted one finger to help with the cleaning, so it's time for them to hit the road! Now the person I hire to clean my house won't even have to dust Desi and Lucy!
Posted by: Susan Stanley | July 29, 2009 at 10:01 AM
I would trade eating ice cream for months for a housekeeper! (And I love ice cream!)
Posted by: Leslie | July 29, 2009 at 10:03 AM
Ok well I am a single dad so trading in a spouse isn't an option. I am very clean can't even sleep till the counters are wiped down. But here lately my 7y/o, whom yes I have full custody of, has actually stopped and thanked me for keeping the house so clean and started making her bed and cleaning up behind herself. Well better than before. The single dad thing has pretty much consumed all my free time so I have given up my adult league hockey games to keep my attention on tasks at hand. So with that said I would give up my hockey equipment, now thats not easy for me to say I love hockey and being a goalie thats not cheap to replace! But a couple nights a week not having to scrub everything down would be a nice break!
Posted by: Benjamin | July 29, 2009 at 10:05 AM
I am a Care Giver at heart. A home organizer at task!
Yes I clean -cook- organize- coordinate, hey I should run a business, I've got what it takes. After all I have been doing this for a longtime. I might as well be paid for it. Loads of grandkids and i care for the elderly, they are much alike.Fun, childlike, dependant upon you. Kris
Posted by: kris Heslip | July 29, 2009 at 10:07 AM
I would definitely trade husband for housekeeper. In fact I sorta did. Husband moved out and I got a roommate.
Posted by: Anastasia Wilson | July 29, 2009 at 10:08 AM
I'm reminded quite often how lucky I am to have a husband who works full-time out of the home and when he gets in he's digs right in where ever he is needed. We live in this home as a family so we do thing as a family and that means helping where you are needed. It's also great that we have two teenagers, they help a tone with our two year old twins.
Posted by: Tania | July 29, 2009 at 10:09 AM
My boyfriend and I live together with his/my children. He is great around the house and always does his part. Around the house we call him the LAUNDRY GOD (he can get stains out of anything) and he always does the dishes when I've cooked a meal and the best part....he cleans the bathrooms.
I'm not sure what I would trade for a housekeeper....maybe one of my kids. lol just kidding.
Posted by: Tabitha Smith | July 29, 2009 at 10:09 AM
I'd trade my week of vacation rental for a housekeeper. Even though it seems to be a week of vacation, it's actually more work with a hubby and 2 young kids. In contrast, having housekeeper help thoughout the year can really save my back and my voice....
Posted by: Annika Huang | July 29, 2009 at 10:11 AM
I'd trade a whole room in my house not to have to clean them all!
Posted by: Emma | July 29, 2009 at 10:14 AM
I would give up my two (beloved) cups of coffee each morning for a week to have a housekeeper!! Even though, I'll operate like a zombie- who cares I'll get some scrubbing done!
Posted by: Holiday Manning | July 29, 2009 at 10:14 AM
Until recently I worked outside the home and my husband was a stay at home dad with our two little girls. Our roles were reversed due to layoffs at my company. With me staying at home the house is much tidier on a daily basis. I am 6 months pregnant and was exceptionally tired the other day and went to bed very early. My husband put the girls to bed and came to our room and commented that the house looked very nice, except for our room and maybe tomorrow I could take care of that. I said to him that if he just policed his area a little that it wouldn't get too messy, as a matter of fact if he could just pick up after himself all over the house, my life would be easier. He just looked at me with a blank face for a while and finally asked why would you pick up as you go, that takes all the fun out of everything. Suddenly our seven plus years of marriage made sense! ;~)
Posted by: Pamela Halpin | July 29, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Last night, while cleaning the nasty space beneath my kitchen sink, I thought briefly of what I'd rather be doing: reading to my daughter, writing to my friends, mowing my neighbor's lawn... when suddenly, it occurred to me that (A) the job would not be as daunting if I'd do it more often and (B) that cleaning out the nasty mess under my kitchen sink is not my natural born gift. As a single mom and homeowner, I am definitely a multi-faceted individual with work, daycare, shopping, cooking, cleaning, lawn maintenance (my own, not my neighbor's), home repairs, chauffering, refereeing, and coaching on my daily To-Do list, my hat rack is most definitely full. BUT -- I do not wear a cape. I am not superwoman, nor do I wish to be. I am OK recognizing and embracing my limitations when it comes to housework, and I would most definitely welcome a little help whenever and wherever possible.
That said, what would I be willing to trade for a housekeeper? Those who know me well might agree that coffee is my most coveted possession, as it well should be to maintain my schedule. However, I would be willing to give up coffee for any (and every) day that I had a housekeeper as hopefully, one would eliminate the need for the other.
Posted by: Chrystene | July 29, 2009 at 10:20 AM
My husband is a great help and I can't fathom raising kids alone. I commend those who do because they are truly superwomen!!!! So for me, I would trade for a smaller house. I love to clean and organize but hate the daily maitenance with kids. A mom's job is so encompassing. There is always something To be done. So for me, I would downsize houses and hire a housekeeper. Extreme I know especially since I have a perfect house for kids. But if I knew before three kids what I know now my decision making would have been really different!!!!! It's amazing how kids can change your views and values!!! I guess that is why wisdom comes with age!!!
Posted by: AnnMarie | July 29, 2009 at 10:32 AM
Although cleaning up after three "Pig Pens" with little black clouds spinning behind them is quite the chore, I wouldn't trade anything about my life - for any prize:) But...a little help could be nice...maybe a dog...no, I guess nothing.
Posted by: Leslie | July 29, 2009 at 10:34 AM
We recently moved and have unpacked boxes stacked in several rooms of the house. Since we have been living several weeks WITHOUT using the items packed away in the boxes I would be willing to trade the unpacked boxes of beloved family "treasures" for a housekeeper. This trade would keep us from unpacking them or moving them so that the housekeeper could clean those rooms! Multitasking at its finest!
Posted by: Kathy | July 29, 2009 at 10:35 AM
I would trade the big beautiful 3D picture in my living room. Its a rare find, I love it, always been the center of discussion.
But then being able to afford a housekeeper is more rare in my world.
Posted by: Puja | July 29, 2009 at 10:38 AM
I would trade my pool for a housekeeper. It's one more thing my hubby promised to help with and one more thing I'm stuck taking care of. :o( Total bummer.
Posted by: Allison | July 29, 2009 at 10:42 AM
What wouldn't I trade for a housekeeper? I will clean my house top to bottom and then turn around and its a disaster again! I would actually use the $200.00 for a housekeeper. One day where someone else comes in and cleans? Sounds like a awesome vacation!
Posted by: Alisia | July 29, 2009 at 10:43 AM
I would trade my husband in a minute. He did the cleaning when we first moved into our house but lately he just does the complaining that the two small children we have are always leaving their toys around the house. The only time he seems to clean is right after I've done it. Either he's trying to tell me something or he needs glasses. I would love to have a real housekeper.
Posted by: Lisa | July 29, 2009 at 10:47 AM
I'm a stay at home mom and things do get kinda hectic with a toddler... So let's just say I'm not that great of a cleaner... So I would trade the car for a housekeeper...
Posted by: Amanda Anderson | July 29, 2009 at 10:51 AM
I would give up CHOCOLATE for a housekeeper. And that's saying something because my son once told me I was AFFLICTED to it (he meant addicted of course!). To give up chocolate has serious and far reaching consequences because I would have to give up Starbucks Frappacinos, Dove candy bars, Hershey Bliss, Ben & Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, Girhadelli fudge brownies and even Weight Watchers chocolate eclairs, Nutella, and No Pudge Brownies! As you can see, I would be confronted with choices not just at home but in the grocery store, at office parties, and especially Halloween and Easter. Oh the horror!
But the horror of missing chocolate is nothing compared to the horror of the condition of a house occupied by two teenage boys with ADHD and two working parents. My family's collective lack of housekeeping skills, not to mention their lack of concern about the condition of the house, is a daily irritant because they do not perceive it to be their problem. They intuitively know when your house is a mess, a visitor doesn't go away thinking "boy, those kids/that husband keep a messy house" Noooo. Its always "that WOMAN sure keeps a messy house."
"My house was clean on Tuesday,sorry you missed it."
Posted by: Cindy | July 29, 2009 at 10:52 AM
What wouldn't I trade! Trading in my husband is not enough! (although I do adore him!) But where does adoration get you when you have two kids and a dirty house!
I would trade in my blackberry! It is my friend, my connection to the outside world and my last glimpse of organization!!
I would trade in my laptop! If I had a house keeper maybe I would have time to go to a store and shop instead of online shopping! Maybe I would actually write a letter instead of emailing everyone!
Lastly I would trade in my eyeglasses! because if I do not get a housekeeper I would not want to see anyhow!!!!!!
Posted by: Bridget | July 29, 2009 at 10:54 AM