Last year, I wrote a post asking the Care.com community if they would hire a manny (a male nanny). The response was overwhelming! The discussion is still going back and forth in the comments. Since it's still such a hot-button issue, I wanted to hear the story from the manny himself.
We talked with Zach B.—a real-life manny from Mukilteo, Washington. Zach was a full-time caregiver for three children (two boys and a girl), has since graduated college, had more experience in child care, and is now looking for another manny position. He took time from the job hunt to talk with us about being a manny and the difficulties he's run into finding another job.
Tell us about yourself.
"I'm 24 years old, married, and from Mukilteo, Washington. I like being around children. I'm a real goofy guy, real energetic. And I love to get down and play with the kids!"
What's your experience as a manny?
"I worked for six months as a manny for a family with two deaf boys (ages 4 and 8) and a hearing daughter (11). It was right before I went to college. I handled a lot of caretaking activities. I used to pack their lunches and take them out to the park. We did a lot of together. It was fun because I built a relationship with the kids. I just loved the whole experience."
What was it like working with two children with special needs?
"I got to practice my American Sign Language. It's a valuable tool for working with kids, whether they're deaf or not. Kids just naturally learn visually before they learn a lot of their speaking skills…
The biggest challenge was conflict negotiation. Kids fight a lot… People say, "Oh, child care's so easy. You just take them out and watch them." But it's not. It's a lot more than that. When that single toy or that last M&M in the bag is the most important thing in their lives, you have to think of creative ways to make them think about it differently."
What training did you have?
"It was my first child care job, so there was a lot of learn-as-you-go. My mom did aerobics and had child care facilities available around the studio and I helped out. So, growing up, I had a lot of child care experience… I just kind of had to act like myself. To tell you the truth, there was no official training. I just tried to be responsible, show up on time, be a good role model, and keep the kids safe…
Since then (after college), I've been a teen center coordinator. We had a day care there, so I worked with kids from age 7-17, so I have a large amount of experience with kids. I also teach high school marching band."
As a manny, is it easier to connect boys or girls?
"I definitely could play a little bit harder with the boys. I feel like they saw me as a mentor or a cool buddy—an "Uncle Zach" sort of thing. I definitely connected with them really well.
The daughter definitely looked up to me and gave me a lot of respect, and I connected with her, too. She was more of a helper with the other kids, translating sign language sometimes.
Personally, I haven't had the experience of not connecting with a female child. You just need the chance to do it. Once I get in there and kids realize I'm just a goofy guy, we connect—it doesn't matter what gender."
What's the advantage of hiring a male caregiver?
"Guys can play harder with the kids. They can be goofier and more fun. Kids want to be able to see eye-to-eye with you, but also see you as a leader, and I think guys are just more rough and authentic like that. They can have that kind of get-your-fingernails-dirty fun on the playground.
Guys also offer a little extra protection. There's a level of added safety, especially with a single mother or in the case of a father who travels a lot... Men can fill that raw need for a male role model and the rough-and-tumble aspect."
Is it harder to find child care jobs as a guy?
"I put together a good resume and cover letter. I've gotten about three or four responses back where people have said, 'Hey, Zach, you look like a really qualified manny—you seem like a great fit. I'm sure somebody will find you in the future, but we're looking for a female.'
A lot of mothers and fathers have a stigma about a man watching a six-year-old daughter—he must be a bad person. I can see both sides of the fence, I really can, but I know my perspective and that's absurd—very small percentages of the population are criminals or like that. To have every guy make you feel uncomfortable is just kind of frustrating.
To put it in perspective, my wife is looking for work. She put up an ad for a part-time nanny job and she had an interview the very next day. I'm like, "Really? How is that possible?" It boggles my mind since I've been trying for a month now. It's tough."
Will you keep looking for a manny job?
"To be honest, I just want to be around youth—that's my passion. I don't fit into the business environment where people are just really stale. That's where I'm at now and I don't fit in at all. I'm looking for somewhere where I can get out, have a flexible schedule, and have activities going on."
We've heard from Zach, now let's let the conversation get started! What do you think? Would you hire a manny? Post a comment below and share your thoughts.
It's true!
I am still looking for full time work and would love to speak with anyone!
I can't wait to find that perfect family! :)
Please contact me with any questions!
zsbatson[at]gmail.com
Zachary,
Posted by: Zach Batson | February 24, 2009 at 01:25 PM
He's right there is a media driven stereo type that men looking for child care jobs are pervs and dangerous, wolves in sheep's clothing, can't be trusted alone with the innocent and defenseless. My family has been sexually victimized by a trusted male sitter, who was secretly gay and a pedophile of boys, yet children loved him and flocked to be with him because he was so much fun, could get on their level and was goofy and loving. The damage to a family and the child is irreparable and harmful to all aspects for life. Parents can't be too cautious. However, the damage of the media frenzied stereo type is equally damning to very qualified, top-notch, all-heart men willing to assume such roles. With our deteriorating society of the basic family, with absent, irresponsible fathers, lack of social morals, immediate gratification and pleasure seeking mentality our children of today mostly have women to raise them, more children are growing up confused, insecure with social and psychological life long problems. Having that trusting male role model to help raise and guide a child is a societal blessing as a whole. Both male and female children are starved for that male influence and guidance that women are trying so desperately to substitute but simply can't meet our children's basic human need for the "father figure" it is impossible. So, yes I would consider a manny for our child, but he would be heavily scrutinized prior to hire and our son would be properly educated to what is acceptable behavior and how to handle and report inappropriate behaviors. Unfortunately that means exposing your innocent child to the evils of the world and the ugly, frank possibilities of the dangers that could occur in his own home or classroom as young as age 2-3 years. But children are strong and do adhere to and embrace rules and teachings in this area.
Posted by: Dawn | February 24, 2009 at 02:30 PM
I would definitely hire a manny! Zach sounds awesome! He would be a great fit for our family. We have 3 preschool age boys and they are very active and goofy, too. They would probably get along great with a male nanny. Too bad he lives in Washington! I'd hire him in a minute!
Posted by: Julie Rudd | February 24, 2009 at 02:44 PM
Yes I would hire a male nanny. I would hold them to the same standards as a female caretaker. I have seen some ads on this site listed by a man that gave the impression that they had no experience taking care of children and they were looking for any kind of work, while they were looking for a new tech job. The ad gave the impression that the person looking for the job did not understand the challenges of care providing. That said we have male friends who watch our kids, and I've worked with male care providers in the past and they are great care givers. Just like a female nanny, I would want a resume, references, first aid/cpr certification and skills with appropriate conflict resolution, understanding of child development, experience with diapering and personal care and caring and safe discipline techniques. I think that some Men may suffer from having less experience than their female peers as well as facing gender discrimination.
I have strong feelings about gender stereotyping. I want both my son and daughter to have access to whatever interests them as well as learning how to care and nurture. When it comes to a caregiver I want them to have the same attitude and not to bring pre-conceived notions of what boys and girls can and can't do, and who they are.
Posted by: Maika | February 24, 2009 at 03:27 PM
I would hire a male.... the people who are against it is like saying A woman can't be in the military or a man can't be a nurse. This day and age we don't look for gender of a person, we look for quality and dependability.
Posted by: Jenni | February 24, 2009 at 03:27 PM
I would hire a manny, as I have an 8-year-old son and he prefers male over female;The girls/ladies don't play like men. also not to be sexist they are more active.
Posted by: Julia | February 24, 2009 at 06:09 PM
I would most definitely hire a Manny! I actually have a daughter that is 11mo old and we have a husband and wife childcare team. My daughter loves it there and I couldn't see myself taking her anywhere else. She connects with both the male and female figures and I feel extremely safe there! It seems like they have a great business going for them. Maybe he should look into that with his wife! :)
Posted by: lilnurse1126 | February 24, 2009 at 08:41 PM
It is great hearing everyone's input. If anyone has questions that were not answered or live on the Eastside and need a Manny, let me know! I am still on the hunt to teach, mentor, cook, clean, play, organize and have fun! Thank you all so much for reading!
~Zachary
Posted by: Zach (the Manny) | February 24, 2009 at 08:51 PM
I absolutely would. There are so many reasons, many of them listed above. I do not hold such a huge difference between a man and a woman sitter. I do think that it would be easier for boys to relate and vice versa. I will hire him if he moves to Colorado.
Posted by: Melissa Young | February 24, 2009 at 09:01 PM
I had a Male Nanny in the pass we called him "Maddy".
(Not a Mommy-Not a Daddy-A Maddy) He worked really well with my sons. If I had the chance I would do it all over again.
A Maddy works 10X harder & better for young male children then a Nanny does. They see more eye to eye & can handle the ewe gross that boys bring to the table especially from outside. Bonus for my boys is having someone who isn't there dad to talk about what ever life has to offer & feel confident about the topic beings this person is not related to them.
Posted by: Lahia.C | February 24, 2009 at 10:49 PM
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure that I would hire a male. I am a single mom of twin baby girls and when I was performing my search I automatically selected [female]. I am certainly not saying a man couldn't do the same job as a female - because that has nothing to do with it. I am just not sure about my comfort level. I guess I have allowed the media to make me a bit paranoid for the safety of my daughters. As their mother, their safety is my number one priority. So, I would have to follow my initial instinct and stick with a female nanny.
Posted by: Linda S. | February 24, 2009 at 11:10 PM
Never underestimate the ability or qualifications of someone until you have given that person an opportunity to be interviewed, checked out, etc.
There is a lot ignorance, trust and judgment out there that simply don't have an open mind until you've taken a look at the other side on through that door sort of speak.
I would also recommend Zach to interview for youth counselor jobs, or an activities coach for children. Also, don't shy away from foster caring if you can. There are many loving children ready to welcome you with open arms.
God bless and best of luck.
Posted by: twinkles | February 25, 2009 at 06:27 AM
I would if they were just going to be a mothers or fathers helper but not if he was going to be alone with the kids, I wouldn't hire any man for that, not for son or daughter.
Posted by: rebecca | February 25, 2009 at 08:19 AM
If I had boys, yes I would hire a male nanny but my kids are girls. But truly, I don't have problems with it.The most important thing is to love and care for the kids.
Posted by: Christine | February 25, 2009 at 12:03 PM
No!
Posted by: julie | February 25, 2009 at 01:49 PM
Why wouldnt I? I don't think there is anything wrong in hiring a male to watch your children. He is just the same as me or you just a different gender.
Posted by: ashley | February 25, 2009 at 03:38 PM
I would not hire a manny. Not to be personal with this actual manny, but i have a daughter under five, which couldn't tell me the least bit it how her day happened. How would I know if something inappropriate happened? I would be scared to say the least, unless this manny was a personal friend, it would never go in my household.
Posted by: angie | February 25, 2009 at 03:59 PM
Guys are as capable, if not more so than gals in caring for children. I would hire him without a doubt.
Posted by: Carrie | February 25, 2009 at 06:28 PM
I would my son Wesley is two and he currently goes to daycare and
Stevo watches him I honestly belive my son has learned more from
Him then when we had a female sitter plus he is also showing that
Mommy can have a best friend she grew up with uncle / sitter
Bring joy and learning to the Tavel Stevo is a very active part in my son ,husband and myself s life ;0) I would hire a male over a woman cause my son
Can relate better
Posted by: April mao Brecto | February 26, 2009 at 12:45 AM
I would hire him. He's cute.
Posted by: wendy | February 26, 2009 at 05:03 PM
I'm sure people have already said this I didn't read All of the comments lol but I would hire a manny if I had a son that needed taking care of. I think a girl should have a girl nanny its just more comfortable you know? Just like if I had boys I would truly rather have a guy taking care of them so they have someone to talk to you know? (if I had kids)
Posted by: Sammi | February 27, 2009 at 02:09 AM
Wait, where are all of you?
I'm with Zach on this one, same area in fact although I don't know the guy, and not a week goes by that I don't hear:
"We're actually looking for a female nanny."
"We're focusing more on women nannies at the moment."
etc.
It's tough too, because there is no job on this Earth that I enjoy more than this one.
Well, thanks for the support. It's good to know some of you are still out there and not all on my reference list. :)
Posted by: Steven | February 28, 2009 at 07:15 AM
I wouldnt mind a male caregiver if he was overly screened. The reason why I wouldn't mind is because men are creatures of habit, when most men go to work they have work in mind. Whereas nine out of ten woman do not know how to separate their emotions & business. In my current situation, my husband & I are going through a divorce & we are roommates until he relocates, I wouldn't want him finding companionship in my new child care provider, so having a male care provider who is overly screened would be ideal for me.
Posted by: sharon Daniel | February 28, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Hello, I was so surprised to see all the "Yes" answers. I have a daughter and I am sorry to say this, but, although the gentleman in the photo looks very nice and and is probably a harmless, men are men and I just would not be able to take the chance of having a man's natural instincts possibly become a problem. I watch "True TV" all the time...(Forensics), and the stories are REAL and EYE OPENING. Men have abducted, molested, and murdered little girls that have even been trusted neighbors.
I really hate to sound this way but it's reality and I just wouldn't take any chances. I, myself, have had a dose of reality when I was 11 and in a Foster home, (a house with 6 kids of their own), and the father somewhat molested me. He was a Police Officer. I do not have any hang-ups about Police Officers because of this but I trusted that father and lived with him and the family 7 years before he started doing inappropriate acts.
I do think even if this had not happened to me, I'm sorry to say, I probably still would not hire a Manny. I am just too over protective. There are over 7,000 child molesters in Las Vegas. It's noted on the internet. Sorry Mannys. I really am! It's just my feeling on the subject.
Posted by: LjG | February 28, 2009 at 10:41 PM
LjG,
Do you work? If I asked you why you weren't staying home and taking care of your children, that would be chauvinistic, wouldn't it? The height of it in fact. You'd consider me a 1950s dinosaur then, would you not? How would you react if you learned your boss passed you over on a promotion simply because of your gender? What if you sought a new job and you later learned they opted not to hire you, because you were female.
You would go to war, wouldn't you? Straight to the courts, EEO complaint, etc. and no one would blame you. If it hit the newspapers, I'd be on the sidelines cheering you on. So please understand my reaction then is comparatively subdued: you are a sexist. Don't get me wrong, after your experience, I don't blame you. Put in your shoes, despite my love of reason, I'd be too. However as bad as your own experience was, and I feel for you on that, I'd probably lose it if I thought anyone I cared for, and I mean anyone, was subject to such a thing, it's important for the rest of us to keep perspective.
I read more than most, and offender registries are symptomatic not of males being more apt to commit a heinous act, but rather they are symptomatic of under-reporting of female offenders and lesser penalties given to female offenders. In fact, the most recent research shows that male and female caregivers are equally likely to commit acts of sexual or physical abuse. It is now believed that those acts occur at the same rate. Don't get me wrong, as much as I wish to the contrary, the same research shows that those acts are more often more serious when a male is committing them than when a female is.
Nevertheless, parents need to know that there is no additional protection from a heinous act occurring through the use of gender discrimination. Parents must be more cognizant of the individual and not as much about where their plumbing is. That's where the focus absolutely must be. Gender discrimination is no substitute for nanny cams, constant communication with the child or children, and maybe even having a friend or two spy on a nanny from time to time. Trust me, the good nannies, male and female alike don't mind these things. We only want what is best for your children, just like you.
So please, I beg those reading, keep perspective, know the focus should be on the individual. Run full background checks and check up on even the best of nannies, those seemingly flawless. Listen to your children. Know good male nannies like me exist and know that we care, a lot. I am a male nanny, the next natural step in the evolution of equality and this profession is the one I am best suited for. Thank you for reading.
Posted by: Manny Poppins | March 02, 2009 at 07:07 PM