T.H., a good friend of ours, just recently visited town. He helped us out a few years ago when he agreed to be our little guy's "manny" (male nanny).
I've heard that some parents struggle with the concept of hiring a guy to watch their kids. The benefits for us were that our little guy loved talking about his video games and playing soldiers with T.H., and they always talked about football, especially about the New England Patriots (we're so sad about Tom Brady’s knee injury!) They certainly had a close bond, but it helped that we knew T.H. for years as a personal friend before asking him to help watch our son—and three years before launching Care.com.
Recently, there seem to be a growing number of mannies entering the workforce, or at least mentioned in the media, though they still tend to be a minority (about 1% to 10% of all caregivers).
Many parents, especially parents of boys, feel that hiring a manny is a great idea because it provides another positive, male influence for their boys—an additional male role model.
Holly Peterson, author of the new novel The Manny
"I've always hired mannies. I love mannies. Mannies are really, really, fun child-care givers because they're messier, they're sillier, they play harder, they rough and tumble your kids all over the park. I think it's great for my kids to have a male role model in the house."
But some parents are wary because of the perception that men aren't as nurturing or compassionate as women, or that there's a bigger safety risk, in terms of background checking and reference checking, to ensure the caregiver isn't a sexual predator or pedophile when the caregiver is male (although according to a 2006 article by FOX News that risk is hotly disputed among researchers.)
The article also features a quote from New York Post sportswriter and longtime male nanny, Sam Blake, who said,
"[Parents] go to male nannies because they're at ease getting dirty, they'll go out and play with the kids a little more, they're more willing, as a generalization, to go out there and get dirty with the kids and do stuff, especially if the kids are boys."
Some additional parents (single moms, parents of children with special needs) have even been featured in the press saying that they prefer male caregivers (mannies or au pairs) because men are stronger and can lift and carry their children more easily than many women could, or in the case of the single moms, they enjoy having someone they can ask to perform handymen tasks from time to time.
One now-single mom who got plenty of press for hiring a manny was Britney Spears, who recruited Perry Taylor, a Naval Academy grad, to care for her two boys back in 2006, and many credit her with "spawning a craze" of hiring male nannies.
Shortly after that decision made headlines, male nannies seemed to pop up everywhere in entertainment, from Freddie Prinze Jr. playing a male nanny on an episode of Friends to the discovery that rock stars Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain hired a "manny" to care for their daughter, Frances Bean, back in the early 1990s.
This should have been no surprise to Generations X and Y, who grew up watching network sitcoms featuring male characters in prominent caregiving roles like Mr. Belvedere
And why not? According to a nanny agency director featured in the ABC / Nightline News segment, mannies can make upwards of $100,000 a year. The problem is just that apparently there's a shortage of men interested in nannying as a profession and the supply of mannies is less than 1% of the total workforce.
Have you ever hired a manny to look after your kids? If not, why not? Does gender matter to you when hiring a caregiver?
Join the conversation by posting a comment!
Absolutely, I'd hire a manny! I'd love for my son to have another man other than daddy in his life. Right now, all the people we have working with him are women - it'd be so nice for him to have a guy to play with!
Posted by: MIchelle Sorensen | September 16, 2008 at 08:13 AM
I think that a manny is a great idea, if the man is qualified and has a way with children. I certainly think that it is a viable option if you have boys because they can relate to their manny. I, however, have two princesses, and therefore think that perhaps a female would make them more comfortable. But if the person with the right credentials happens to be a male then I would give it great consideration... it might be nice for my girls to have a big brother influence.
Posted by: courtney | September 16, 2008 at 08:14 AM
As father of my children. I have problems excepting male person being a nanny or a manny. A male person have different role than a women. Usually a male person becomes a role model for young boys and they are the ones should be a head of the household working a blue collar or white collar jobs. A women who are nannies usually are helpers for the wife in the house hold help nurturing the children especially infants. It is sad to more men leaning toward what women are doing instead of of being the take charge person as male role model. I don't want to be blunt but as a parent, it is a red flag for pediphiles.
Posted by: Chris S. Sr. | September 16, 2008 at 08:19 AM
Hi. I have had a mannie now for 2 and half years and I couldn't ask for a better person to watch my 3 boys. My oldest is 11 and they seem to have a very tight bond, my middle son, age 3, also seems to be enjoying him, and my youngest is almost 2. This mannie has been my only caregiver for my younger two and I wouldn't dream of taking them away to another daycare. My oldest tells me on a daily basis that he would "just not have it" if I were to change either.
I don't understand why some people are so critical about men watching kids for a living, as women we do many jobs that are usually for men, so why can't they do some jobs that are generally for women?
Posted by: Tammy | September 16, 2008 at 09:09 AM
I would hire a Manny for my young boy. As long as he was above reproach (how do you really know that or if a Nanny is above reproach for that matter?), had a respectable girlfriend and was totally open to family interaction with us before taking on the duties. I'd want a background check, of course, for either Manny or Nanny. My husband was great at babysitting kids in his neighborhood (when he was aged 12 to 26) and says he would hire a guy to watch our boy now.
Posted by: Lori G | September 16, 2008 at 09:56 AM
When looking for a child care provider for my daughter I was considering a manny, but my husband was completely against it. If we had a son I think that he would have thought differently, but was oppossed to a man watching after our daughter. I think that it is a cultural thing we are just not used to the idea that a nanny can be a man. I am a nurse and we still have a shortage of male nurses women will always be thought of as caretakers
Posted by: summer o'dell | September 16, 2008 at 10:30 AM
I would hire a Manny, I think there are men out there that can do just as good job as a Nanny. Some men even have more patience.
Posted by: Jenn | September 16, 2008 at 12:19 PM
I would NEVER hire a man to care for my children... I have to be honest with all these sick men out here its hard enough finding a safe female sitter.. I would never leave my children alone with a man unless it was someone I knew very well. I read somonewhere 1 out of 3 children have been sexually molested, look at the sex offender registry they are mostly men some women but most are men I could never hire a manny nor would I encourage others to do so
Posted by: kira | September 16, 2008 at 03:09 PM
I am all for a Manny, men have every right to do this work if they so choose. The problem is I have girls and I would not feel comfortable with a man watching my girls all day.
Posted by: Nel | September 16, 2008 at 08:39 PM
I am a nanny and I think kids benefit from a careprovider who loves them and gives them the attention they deserve and need, I really don't think gender matters.
Posted by: Lizeth | September 16, 2008 at 10:58 PM
i would hire a male to watch my children. women perform jobs everyday that are considered a mans job so why cant men cant do the same.
Posted by: misty | September 16, 2008 at 11:32 PM
No, I don't think I would hire a manny. I have a 10 month old daughter, and there are some sick individuals out there nowadays. I just do not feel comfortable having another man watch our daughter besides her dad. No offense but it is hard to trust people these days.
Posted by: Michiel | September 17, 2008 at 01:34 PM
I've had my best luck with Mannies. I have two boys and James started helping right from the birth of the oldest. Men who want to take on this challenge do it with such care and thoughtfulness.
Posted by: Kathleen | September 19, 2008 at 10:47 PM
I'd hire a guy to watch my kids for a few reasons. Generally with guys you have less personal drama to deal with and they just come and do the job. Guys (at least the ones who would apply for this kind of work) are more apt to not have ego issues and just play with the kids. My biggest possible challenge with the guy who would apply for this job is that, while I think everyone has the freedom to make their own choices in their own lives, I don't want a non-hetero guy influencing my kids. There are women all over the place taking up "mens' " jobs (stupid stereotyping), there is nothing wrong with some men just doing what needs to be done to capitalize on their own strengths and opportunities to provide for themselves.
Posted by: India | September 28, 2008 at 07:20 PM
Well, personally as a mother of 6 children, I would not have a problem with hiring a manny if I did an extensive background check (I have 4 girls and 2 boys). I think the only problem I would have with it would be when the manny changed my 8-month-old's Pampers. Would he do as good of a job as a woman? I feel that it is more of a ladies' place. Men don't seem to take as much pride in that as us women do. That probably would be my only problem.
I would definitely hire a manny. Why not? We're in 2008 - things change all the time. If they're good for my children, I'm for it.
Posted by: Dorie G | October 02, 2008 at 12:46 PM
I would never hire a strange man to watch over my daughter. If you saw the episode of Oprah that I saw, you wouldn't either. You never know what a person is doing with your child when you're gone unless you set up some kind of surveillance. There are too many sickos out there. I wouldn't do it.
Posted by: Tina | October 03, 2008 at 12:42 AM
I think you would have to look at the reasons behind a man WANTING to be a manny, as a nanny it has been one of the toughest but most rewarding jobs in my eight years of childcare. But I'm wondering if the mannies would be as willing to take on other responsibilities such as picking up after the kids, doing their laundry and starting supper? Yeah they're willing to get down and dirty with the kids but are they willing to pick it up?
Posted by: Tina | October 03, 2008 at 08:11 PM
I agree with Kira. I would never, ever hire a man to watch after my daughter. I doubt I would consider it if I had a son. In today's world it's too much of a risk!
Posted by: Lex | October 06, 2008 at 04:00 PM
I think mannies are fine as long as you trust them and have done your research first. But I don't think its fair to say that they play more or harder because I love to get on the floor and play with kids. It's not just men!
Posted by: Kaitie | October 10, 2008 at 01:09 PM
I am PT manny for a family of 2 boys who are 2 and 3 yrs old and I have been with the family for 2 months, and I love my job. The mom who hired me was very open to a male nanny, considering that she was going through a divorce at the time and felt a male caregiver would be great for her boys. Since I have been a manny, I have noticed that Ive become more loving and caring and my days are more positive and joyful. I agree with the people who stated that male caregivers are important and can do as good of a job (if not better) as a nanny. But I also understand why so many parents are scared to hire a male sitter or nanny - simply it's the sickos out there ruin it for us who really love child care and makes it harder for us good men to get hired. So to all of the parents who are open to a male sitter or nanny, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Posted by: brent maxwell stevens | October 11, 2008 at 06:15 PM
I want to know where mannies are making upwards of 100,000 dollars a year. I know of no nanny who gets paid that much. Do men get paid more for nannying as well as other professions?
Posted by: Jess | October 13, 2008 at 02:13 AM
Yep. I have a male babysitter for my 20 mo. daughter, and he does soooo well with her and she LOVES him. I think men have more patience and are less emotional than women, and this leads to being more even-keeled. Also, daddy's girls love men and seem to gravitate towards a male more than a female. Whereas, if the child is a boy, they identify with them as a positive male role model, like a Dad. So, I say Manny's are great!
Posted by: Rachel | October 15, 2008 at 04:37 PM
I'm a nanny right now, and there are times I get so fed up with other nannies and the silly drama (gossip) they get into. I've always been more of a tomboy, so I guess I think more like a guy in some ways. I wish there were more mannies, because I nanny for 2 boys and I'm always outside. But there are some things I think they would get from a manny that I just don't have an aptitude for, though I do try. (Sports, for instance - I'm horrible at it, but I do still give it a go.) I will rough the kids up and play outside, run through mud, etc - whatever it takes to make them happy. But still, there are certain things that male influence brings that women just don't have. So to all you mannies out there, thanks for bringing back more positive male influences in today's world. Mannies, do what you do. And when i do finally have children, I'm so hiring a manny!
Posted by: candi | November 08, 2008 at 09:59 AM
We've had great experiences hiring a male nanny to look after our three boys. Also, there's no reason to be more suspect when the caregiver is a male. Contemporary research just doesn't back up such a prejudicial statement.
Posted by: Kristina | November 10, 2008 at 02:26 PM
If you look at your local Megan's Law sex registry there are WAY more males than females. The few females listed have usually been labeled sex offenders because they were barely legal age when their boyfriend wasn't legal like she'd turned 18 when her bf was still 17.
There are of course the Mary Kay Leturnos (sp?) but again those are teachers or counselors & TEEN boys. The Female sex offender w/the infant or toddler is next to non existent. But it'll shock you when you see how many male offenders live in your area & those are only the ones who have been caught & who actually do register.
I too saw the Child Molester episode of Oprah & after that, even though I am a Nanny, I recommend EVERY family have a Nanny cam. ATT offers a system called Remote Monitoring for $10 a month which you can view on your phone or your PC at work w/a constant live feed as well as a recording.
Unlike the person who said they'd only hire a straight male I'm the exact opposite. I'd want a female whether born in male body or a female one period. Because females have a natural nurturing component to their personalities; Especially ones who have already raised children of their own. I personally would not hire a female who hadn't gone through all the phases of child-rearing w/more than 1 child. Grandparents are the best. They've already made all the mistakes & learned, the hard way sometimes - but learned just the same, what works & what doesn't & they aren't nervous wrecks nor are they ever in a state of not knowing what to do if anything unexpected happens like youngsters are.
Posted by: Mz Stefani | November 13, 2008 at 02:02 PM