The other day, I was grocery shopping and heard a baby crying in the next aisle. I could tell the other Mom was having a hard time, and could sympathize. As I walked towards her, I gave her a reassuring smile but didn't say anything else.

It reminded me of the time Ryan, my older son, was an infant and teething. He was having a tantrum at the grocery store, and I couldn’t get him to stop crying. An older woman approached me and said, rudely, “Why don’t you purchase a pacifier?” That experience stuck with me all these years, and even though I can laugh about it now with my husband, Ron, it's still amazing to me how often strangers think they're being helpful, but in fact, make the situation worse.

Have you ever had another adult feel compelled to criticize your parenting (or pet owning) style? What did you do about it?

Share your story with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

PS ~ I hope that you, your families, and your caregivers have a safe, happy, and memorable Labor Day weekend. See you next week with tips for Back to School!

When I picked my little guy up from camp the other day, he was drenched from swimming. I suddenly got emotional, having a flashback to when he was 18 months old.

I was with neighbors and friends having some wine by the pool, and turned my head for a split second. I heard other kids playing in the background, and then heard a splash. I looked and couldn't see my baby. He was on the other side of the pool and struggling, so I quickly jumped in, fully dressed. I was shaking with fear after we surfaced. I'm not sure I would ever mix drinking with watching kids again, even though there are plenty of other occasions where parents get distracted.

Over the past two years, this "trend" has spawned mixed reviews in the blogosphere, national newspapers like The New York Times, even The Today Show. What do you think about mixing playgroup with cocktail hour? Or about balancing your responsibilities as a mom with maintaining your pre-kid, grown-up life?

Post your comments below, and read on for my interview Q&A with Christie Mellor, author of The Three Martini Playdate and The Three Martini Family Vacation guides to modern parenting.

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Sheila: What inspired you to write your books, The Three Martini Playdate and The Three Martini Family Vacation?

Christie: I wrote my book in hopes of getting parents to start reclaiming their lives. I felt surrounded by parents, and friends who were parents, who were just handing their lives over to their children. The hyper-attentiveness, the parents who enroll their kids in a million enrichment classes and supervise their children's every waking moment—it doesn't seem to be doing the children any good, and certainly the parents seem to be exhausted.

Sheila: You talk about the need for a reversal to the 1950s and 60s style of parenting, before the kids were coddled and treated as the center of the universe. Tell us more about your thoughts on this need for a rebellion against "parental correctness."

Christie: It used to be that people had kids, and their kids became a part of the family, not the center of the family. The grown-ups got to be grown-ups, and there was a mystery and something vaguely exciting about the idea of being a grown-up. Now I see parents including their children in every aspect of their lives. I don't by any means want to imply that the '50s and '60s model of parenting was a perfect one, at all! But I do think that parents didn't micro-manage their children as much. Kids were allowed to make their own mistakes, they had less scheduled time. They were allowed to be mind-numbingly bored. I think this ends up fostering more creativity. And certainly self-sufficiency.

Sheila: In your first book, you (jokingly) talk about the "Our Little Tots First Martini," that kids ages five and up should be able to mix a cocktail for their parents and their friends—something very 1960s, and recently featured on AMC's hit show "Mad Men." Do you think Gen X-ers, like the media, are going to "retro parenting"?

Christie: I love Mad Men! And I totally cracked up when I saw that episode. But no, my kids don't mix my cocktails. I haven't heard of younger parents starting some kind of retro-parenting frenzy, but I have heard from lots of parents who like my book because they find the idea of having balance in their lives appealing. I don't think it's so much "retro" as the pendulum swinging back to a more balanced and reasonable place.

Sheila: The title of your first book references a popular, yet controversial, parental pastime of combining that word you hate, a "playdate," with happy hour. Do you often get together with other parents, kids in tow, for cocktails?

Christie: First of all, I think parents are missing the point if they think I am encouraging some kind of alcoholic free-for all. It's not about literally adding alcohol to the mix, I mean, if you're still driving your overly-scheduled children to classes and playdates every minute of the day—if you haven't changed your general attitude, then you just end up being a really busy drunk. I was quoted in the NY Times saying much the same thing, and I think it was possibly misunderstood. But it's not just about drinking and cutting loose, it's about giving your children the tools to be self-sufficient, so that you can actually be a grown-up and have grown-up time. I see nothing wrong with having a cocktail with your spouse or a group of grown ups. Why do parents have to schedule "dates" so that they can get some adult time together? A "Three-Martini Playdate" is more about a state of mind than literally about downing three martinis.

Sheila: Why do you think it's so important for parents (esp. moms) to take "me time," even if it involves a glass of wine or a beer while the kids are playing?

Christie: We all need balance in our lives. It doesn't have to be about drinking, but sharing a glass of wine with friends is celebratory and social. If you are affected adversely, or have a problem with alcohol, then obviously, have a nice glass of iced tea. If the idea of drinking alcohol around children makes you uncomfortable, then don't have any! Again, it's not about literally imbibing vast quantities of alcohol so you can unwind. I just think more parents need to find hobbies that don’t include their children. And perhaps some time alone, or with fellow adults.

Sheila: What do you think about safety concerns, and have you ever had to handle an emergency during a martini mom meet-up?

Christie: Honestly, I don't have "martini mom meet-ups." It sounds too much like some kind of club. I'm not a clubby person. However, we do entertain a pretty fair amount, and we liked to have parties even when the kids were very little. The "early bedtime" chapter in my first book wasn't far from the truth—plus, as a writer, free evenings were invaluable when the kids were young. They had to get to bed at a reasonable hour, so I could work. But no, I've never had to handle an emergency with the kids after having a few drinks. And my husband isn't much of a drinker, so I suppose if I really go crazy some evening and start swinging from the chandelier with a bottle of gin, he'll be capable of driving to the emergency room, should that be necessary.

Sheila: Can you talk about the big difference between, and controversy over, "mothering under the influence" and having a single drink with other parents?

Christie: Well, seriously, we're not talking about swilling nine cocktails and leaving the baby in the bathtub. Has drinking become such a black and white thing?

Sheila: What are your thoughts on the passionate divide in the media between people who are die-hard "martini moms" and those who think you're a bad parent if you drink in front of or around your kids?

Christie: I think the "passionate divide" is possibly made up, sort of like the "Mommy Wars" thing. I think the whole argument is a little bit of a straw-man—I know there are parents out there who are shocked by the idea of drinking a glass of wine in front of a child, but they don't come over to my house. I have friends who don't drink, or don't choose to have a cocktail if they're driving their kids home. Know yourself and your limits, I guess.

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Christie Mellor is the author of The Three Martini Playdate and The Three Martini Family Vacation, and is also a regular contributor on the popular parenting website, Mommy Track'd, with a column based on her books, called The Three Martini Complaint Department.

My husband, Ron, really enjoys coaching our little guy's baseball, football, and soccer teams, and lately, he's noticed more stay-at-home and work-at-home dads on the sidelines after school.

And, at work, I also seem to notice an increasing number of moms going back to work full-time while their husbands stay at home with the kids. It's fantastic that so many families are figuring out flexible ways to juggle "being the breadwinner" and caring for their loved ones.

According to a recent article on the parenting community Babble.com, there has been a 62% rise in single father households from 1990 to 2003, and the number of stay-at-home dads in the U.S. last year had risen to 159,000 (2.7% of the country's total number of stay-at-home parents), according to an article by the Washington Post.

Both media outlets point out, however, that these statistics ignore the number of work-from-home parents, or parents working part-time, contributing to the ever-changing dynamics of this new style of American parenting.

Two dads who took note of this changing parenting landscape, where families strive for balance, flexibility, and pragmatism over traditional gender roles, were Tom Perrotta, author of the best-selling novel Little Children (as well as the film adaptation starring Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson, and Jennifer Connelly), which features a stay-at-home dad as a central character, and Dana Glazer, a filmmaker currently producing a documentary called The Evolution of Dad, following the history of fatherhood and gender equality in parenting from the 1950s to the present.

So, what does this new dad look like? And, is he really taking on the traditional "mommy" role?

"Todd [the stay-at-home dad in Little Children] was a sort of idealized figure, almost the embodiment of the fantasies of the stay-at-home moms at the playground," Tom Perrotta said. "I wanted him to be a nurturing father who was completely masculine…He's a new figure, but not yet an archetype, because the role is still in process. We haven't really figured out what to make of stay-at-home dads yet."

And Dana Glazer agreed, that stay-at-home dads are just a tiny fraction and sub-culture representing what is a much more radical change in the way families are operating these days and handling their approach to child care and childrearing.

"Stay at home dads, at least from my perspective, are a total novelty and something that’s been going on since the early 90s," Dana said. "Typically the stories are fluffy: they claim that [stay-at-home dads] are growing in numbers; and then there's a citation from the Census Bureau; and then there's always the references to the movies Mr. Mom or Daddy Day Care. My perspective on [this trend] is that on the surface, it's progressive, but underneath that, it's the status quo—just a flip in the traditional gender role. You get traditional dads who glance at it and go "ICK!" And you get feminists that say, "Yes! That's it. That's great." But the larger issues at hand, like gender equity and work-family balance, are largely ignored. I think the world is better off not just with one parent at home, but for the kids to get to know both parents. In the best possible world, you have the kids interacting with both parents as much as possible. What my kids get from my wife is very different from what they get from me, and kids are so stimulated by that different kind of interaction. The more the typical gender roles blend, the better. And I think that is happening, but it’s still pretty traditional overall. The stay-at-home dad phenomenon is great, but it tends to overshadow the real progress."

Both men have been work-at-home dads for the majority of their kids' lives, and they both had some pretty strong opinions on why this changing parenting dynamic has come about—and the challenges it also presents both for companies and for couples.

"The obvious answer is feminism—when a woman has a high-paying, rewarding career, why should she have to give up her job to care for the kids?" Tom said. "Why can't the father do the child care, especially if his job isn't so rewarding or lucrative? More and more couples are finding themselves in an economic situation where it seems like the most sensible thing is for the mother to keep working and the father to take over the home front."

But it's not quite as simple as that, as Dana pointed out.

"Women can be territorial around the maternal ground and just push the dads back off to work," Dana said. "A lot of divorces happen because of it, and it's important for couples to really talk about it before the kid is born. What's going to happen? Who's going to do what? And if you don't talk about it, everyone just falls back into those traditional roles. Women are getting the message, "You can do anything! You can do it all!" And if you don't talk about it, a lot of guilt and resentment can come into play. The big picture is how you get all these parts working together, and it's not easy. It takes a lot of discipline to do these things…Fatherhood is really important and we're really making strides, but you start to see that things really haven't progressed as much as we'd like to think we have."

Are you a work-at-home or stay-at-home dad, or do you have a spouse who is? We'd love to hear from you! Share your experiences with the Care.com community by posting a comment below.

It's back-to-school time again and I'm really excited! On weekends, I spend a few hours developing a supplemental curriculum for my little guy.

A few of my friends tell me I'm hard core, but he doesn't really get homework yet and I'd love for him to get back into the habit of doing some work after school. It's actually become one of my favorite hobbies, and allows me to get more involved with my son's education. Plus, with email, it's now so much easier to coordinate with his teachers on what he's learning at school and at home with me. 

Last summer, I blogged about creating fall activities and traditions for you and your children. Check out these two previous posts to get started today:

Back to School Guide

Planning for Fall Activities

Also, check out two of my personal favorites for educational activities with my little guy:

• Singapore Math. This is a great program for teaching children math, either for homeschooling or as a supplement to public or private education.

• The Word Ladder series These books are great for teaching kids to read words. My little guy really learned to sound out consonants and vowels with their fun games.

Please check back over the next couple of weeks, too: as we get farther into the school year, I'll be blogging more on developing a supplemental curriculum for kids.

Do you have tips or tricks of your own for getting the kids (and yourself) ready for the school year? Or favorite fall activities for the whole family?

Share them with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Check out CBSnews.com today to watch the video of my interview with the Early Show!

**Update: Here's the direct link to the video segment.

As some of you may have read in my blog or newsletter last week, I was recently interviewed by the CBS team about saving money on child care this summer.

Do you have creative ways to save on child care that we didn't cover? Share them with the Care.com community by posting a comment!

Recently, I was talking about Facebook and MySpace with my older son, Ryan, and my nieces, and they expressed—in particular—how much they dislike adults (like their parents!) hanging out online in the same places they and their friends do.

I asked them how they'd feel if future employers were also viewing their Facebook or MySpace profiles,
which made them even more uncomfortable. They still feel their personal lives are private. Even on the internet. And then I realized that many of these teens and twentysomethings are also candidates for babysitting and nanny jobs.

Would you research your caregiver online? Would you view their MySpace profile, become their Facebook friend, or read their blog?

Several newspapers have written about this trend since social media outlets like blogs and MySpace entered the online scene around 2005.

Here are two that I really liked:

The New Nanny Diaries Are Online
By Helaine Olen for The New York Times' "Modern Love" column

This column follows the story of one mom who chose to begin reading her nanny's blog, and the ensuing drama and difficult choices that followed.

Finding Babysitters, from Craig's List to MySpace
By Heather Pemberton Levy, founder and editor of the blog MommyTruths

This blog post retells the story of how one mom found out through a sitter's MySpace profile that she definitely was not the right fit for her family.

Have you read your nanny's blog, or viewed your babysitter's Facebook or MySpace profile? Would you ever ask them to connect online as a "friend"? What did you think the article from the New York Times?

Share your thoughts, opinions, and experiences with the Care.com community by posting a comment!