Dear Readers,
I'm saddened by the responses to my previous blog post on helping your kids cope with the loss of a family pet, and troubled both by how it was misinterpreted and feelings that were hurt. I owe you all a better explanation and an apology.
It's terrible to be faced with the necessity of having to lose or separate from one's family pet, but what I wanted to highlight was the different ways of dealing with the loss, with grieving, and with helping your children heal. The last part in particular was the mistake I made as a young parent years ago—underestimating our son's need to grieve for the best friend he'd had for the four months that we had Apollo, before giving him to another family we knew (not a shelter.) I was more concerned about protecting my 6 year old from the harsh reality than I was in actually helping him confront it, and I wanted to help other parents not make the same mistake. Acknowledging loss and giving children a chance to say goodbye is a crucial to step in helping them recover from the loss of a loved one—and it's definitely something I learned the hard way.
Thank you all for sharing your heartfelt and passionate feelings on this subject with me and the rest of the Care.com community. Rest assured that we are passionate about pets and their wellbeing, and, as a team, we value our commitments to our dogs, cats, and other animals as a lifelong relationship not to be entered into lightly.
~ Sheila
Hello Sheila,
I was job searching at this
site when I read one of your
postings to some members who
take part in your blog. From
what I gathered, you chose to
give-away your 6 year old son's dog, but did not tell
him you gave the dog away.
There were quite a few members
who were very upset with the
fact that you did not let
your son say goodbye to his
dog. No parent is perfect, we
all make mistakes, but there
are 2 things that really
bother me. Why, in God's name,
did you get a dog, only to
give him away 4 months later?
Animals are living, breathing
beings. They too experience
pain and saddness. When you
purchase a pet, it should be
a life-long relationship! Too
many people in this country
treat animals as disposal
commodities. Are you aware of
the fact that last year alone,
we euthanized 6 million dogs
and cats, because they could
not find homes for them. Six
million animals put to death
in 1 year and the worse part
is that a very large percentage of these animals
were owner relinquished pets.
We, as a society, should be
ashamed of ourselves!! Now
the 2nd thing that made me
crazy, was the fact that you
out and out lied to your child. The fact that you felt
you had to lie, should have
been your first clue that you
were handeling the situation
improperly. Lying to a child
is so destructive to your
relationship and to the child.
How can a child trust or
believe in a parent who has
lied to them. They can't.
Sincerely,
Nikki G.
Posted by: Nikki Gibson | June 07, 2008 at 10:34 PM