For the past two weeks, we've done a three-part series for my blog and newsletter on handling difficult conversations with your caregivers, and managing your care relationships, as requested by you, our readers.
Check out Part III: Discussing compensation, below, featuring some great advice from Felice Bochman, our Senior Editorial Director and resident expert on the parent - caregiver divide.
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Managing Your Care Relationships: Compensation
By Felice Bochman
Talking about money is awkward. No matter what the situation is, it just always feels a little uncomfortable. At this point in my life, I've spent ample time on both sides of the compensation conversation—as an employee and as an employer. I've learned (sometimes painfully) that there are a few things you need to keep in mind to make these conversations more effective and less stressful.
Be prepared before launching into a conversation about rates and pay—and be prepared to listen—and you and your caregiver will both be happy with the results.
Questions to ask yourself before discussing compensation:
- Do I know the going rates for this job in my local area?
- Is the person I'm talking to also aware of current rates of pay for this job?
- What motivates the person I'm about to hire—is this a career job?
- What affects the rate of pay, if anything—extra tasks, more experience, etc?
- Have I created an accurate job description?
- Do I know what my own budget limitations are?
- Do I value the work this person is providing for me? Why am I being selective?
Lead by example and be empathetic.
When you're trying to hire a sitter or a housekeeper and they're vague about the rate of pay, take two seconds and imagine yourself doing the job. There are very good reasons why you're hiring someone else for this job, and the chief one is probably that you don't have time. Do you know why the potential caregiver is looking for this job? Is this what they do professionally, on a full-time basis? Or, are they just looking for a little splash cash doing part-time work, or maybe even trying to make supplemental income to support their own family? Knowing about their situation makes a difference, so be sure to ask—and if they're being vague, it usually means they're waiting for you to quote a number so they can react to it.
Be fair on compensation even with inexperienced sitters.
Talking about compensation with your caregiver isn’t about getting a great deal—it's about getting the right level of service for the right price. With child care, quality is your number one priority. You wouldn’t want an inexperienced babysitter find out they are underpaid, which would then impact their reliability and quality of work. Often times, people in service professions are the least likely to advocate for themselves.
Build trust and a valuable relationship.
If you think about it, there's a real trust factor involved—even before the conversation about compensation even takes place. The caregiver may see you as a superior or authority figure, and may not want to have an uncomfortable discussion with you—or they may not have experience negotiating for fair pay. The person you're going to hire has a service to offer that you need or want. Remember that, in the long run, if your caregiver feels they can't trust you to look out for their best interests, then they're not going to be motivated to stay and work for you. Inevitably, you'd be hiring an employee who would be working for you while looking elsewhere for a better job, and then you're back to square one. You're not just their employer, you're also a customer.
Conversations about money are just that—a conversation.
If I can stress anything that has been the most valuable for me, especially as an employer, it is to approach conversations about pay as a true conversation. And, let your perspective employee know it's a conversation. Invite them into the discussion. It can be done as simply as saying "Let's talk about your rates. I know people make around X dollars for this kind of work. What do you charge?"
Remember that the best deal you're going to get is the one in which you get a wonderful caregiver for your family who enjoys and feels satisfied by the work they do for you, and will hopefully stay with you for a long time.
Have some of your own tips or advice for broaching the money conversation with caregivers or service providers? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!
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