In light of our recent series on managing our relationships with our caregivers, I thought it was time to talk about some other tough care-related questions, like "How do you know when it isn’t working out with your caregiver?" and "When should you let your nanny go?"
My rule of thumb is that you always need to ensure that you have "peace of mind." If you're constantly stressed out and worried about the situation, it might be time to rethink your choice of caregivers.
Here are some of the biggest "red flags" I always say to watch out for:
- Your child has frequent bumps and scrapes.
Sure, kids will be kids, so don’t panic at the first sight of a scraped knee. But if accidents start to become a more-than-normal occurrence, it could be a sign that your babysitter is not keeping a watchful eye on your children.
- Your babysitter is doubling as social chair.
You come home early or make a surprise pop-in to find your babysitter has invited friends over without your permission. And it's not the first time. Or perhaps she’s always busy talking on the phone while your kids are in the other room unattended. Either way, the primary focus of a good babysitter should always be your kids–socializing should take place on their own time.
- Your babysitter has an Internet alter-ego.
Today’s younger generation is very in touch with social computing, from MySpace to Facebook. Sure your babysitter will do her best to make a good impression on you, but it never hurts to do your homework. Although profiles on social media sites are often private, it is worth taking a look around on places like MySpace and Facebook to see if your potential sitter has a page. At the very least it will give you more insight into their personality and interests–-and in the worst case scenario, if the content of their profile raises a red flag, you can respectfully look at other options.
- Your child begs you to stay.
Getting used to a new babysitter takes time, and kids will naturally miss Mom and Dad at first. But, if your child is regularly upset or angry over the prospect of being left at home with a babysitter, then likely there's an underlying issue, either with your child or with their caregiver. Remember, as much as you may like someone, it’s even more important that your kids do, too.
- You have that gut feeling.
Maybe it’s driven by one of the reasons listed above, or maybe you just have that unsettling feeling in your stomach that something isn’t right. At the end of the day, it’s your child, so trusting your own instincts is important. Especially for first-time parents, leaving your child with anyone can be a challenging hurdle to overcome. If you have a gut feeling that something seems out of place, however, it’s best to part ways with your babysitter amicably rather than risk an uncomfortable situation.
Check out my interview with FOX News Chicago from this past Tuesday for more of my thoughts on warning signs and knowing when it's time to let your nanny or babysitter go.
Have a babysitter or nanny horror story of your own? Or some tips and advice on what to look out for with your caregivers? Share it with the Care.com community by posting a comment!
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