There's nothing like finding a reliable, compassionate babysitter or nanny to care for your children when you're away from home and the feelings of security it provides. But, what happens when you start to feel like your kids are more attached to their nanny than to you?

Here are my rules to remember:

There should be no guilt!
First of all, a parent's choice to go back to work and hire a full- or part-time caregiver for their kids is not a reflection of how much they love their children. It's just a necessity of life these days: statistics show that 46% of families have either both parents working full-time or, in single-parent households, the primary parent works full-time. Dual-income households have doubled over the past 20 years, and whether or not your decision to go back to work was a necessity or a personal choice, you should not feel guilty about having a career and a life away from your kids!

Parenting has phases of development.
Moms in particular have a hard time with the guilt and separation anxiety that results from leaving their kids with a caregiver and going back to work—especially first-time moms. But, just as your kids will go through phases of growth and development, you have phases of development as a parent to deal with, too. Learning to detach emotionally and discern between your kids' love for Mom and Dad and their love for their caregiver is just another phase and hurdle that all parents have to overcome.

Feeling hurt or sad is your issue to deal with.
It's normal, especially for new parents, to feel hurt when the kids no longer come running when you walk in the door. But recognize that how happy or sad you feel is your issue to deal with, not a reflection of how much your kids love you. Try not to get hurt or sad—or worse, mad at or jealous of the nanny—and remember that your kids will always love Mom best.

Attachment to their caregiver is a sure sign of a great babysitter or nanny!
Once you put the reality of the situation in perspective, you'll be able to cherish the fact that your kids are being so well cared for when you're not home. Encourage this relationship between your children and their caregiver and engage with the nanny as another member of the family—because in your kids' eyes, they now are.

Kids will become attached to their babysitters and nannies, and may even start to exhibit some of their caregiver's personality traits. These are also normal phases, and reinforce how important it is to find a caregiver that's the right fit for your family.

Your child has different types of love for different types of relationships.
Your kids will always love you more than their caregivers, but out of necessity, they do form a special kind of bond with them. Accept that these are two different types of love and two totally different relationships your kids are having with you and with nanny, even though they may now exhibit some behaviors around their caregivers they used to reserve only for Mom. It's perfectly normal.

Learning to detach and accept that your child has different types of love for different relationships now will help prepare you for handling their relationships with girlfriends and boyfriends down the line, too!

Have your own tips or advice on dealing with feelings of jealousy when it comes to your child's love for their caregiver? Share them with the Care.com community by leaving a comment!

Cheers,
Sheila