Sandwich Generation
I recently visited Michigan where I caught up with my siblings. Naturally, the topic of our parents and how and where we will care for them in the future came up. It has been an on-going topic in our family for several years. I have a brother in California, another in Seattle, two siblings in Michigan, and there are two of us here in Boston. Other relatives and many of my parents’ friends are in Texas, however. So it’s become a difficult and often very stressful topic.
I used to think that care for my parents was a problem that I could solve in just a couple of weeks. We’d simply situate them somewhere, make sure they were okay, and then I’d get back to my own family and kids. But then reality dawned on me. My dad had a quadruple bypass when he was in his fifties, and he and my mom lived with us for a year afterward. Suddenly I realized that caring for my parents would be a long-term commitment and similar to planning out care for my children.
I just watched a great documentary by Julie Winokur and her husband and I realized I’m not alone.
I don’t like being labeled as part of a group, but the problem appears to be shared by so many other friends and colleagues. We are part of the Sandwich Generation, which is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “a generation of people who are caring for their aging parents while supporting their own children.” I read this fact in a CNN article: “Nearly 10 million boomers are now raising kids or supporting an adult child while giving a financial hand to an aging parent, the Pew Research Center reports.”
You can find the full study here.
I’ve been meeting many people in the senior care field since starting Care.com. I met an amazing and inspiring woman, Andrea Cohen, who provides assistance to Boston-area families dealing with senior care issues through her company Houseworks. She’s invited me to conferences where I’ve learned more about the importance of planning ahead. There IS help out there and there are many resources. Our hope is to assist our members with the process of finding senior care and to make it easy to find help and resources.
If you run into anything that you believe would be helpful for other readers in terms of planning and learning more about elder care for their parents and loved ones, please leave a comment.
Cheers,
Sheila
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Thank you for the post. PBS's Frontline ran a program on "Living Old." Their site offers the program online as well as advice on resources for care and long term planning.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/livingold/
Posted by: raman | April 26, 2007 at 05:46 PM
Hello. I've been writing for a while about the funny and not-so-funny days as a member of the Sandwich Generation on my blog. I think all of us SGers need to converse with each other to stay sane and balanced. I would love to hear from anyone at Confessionsfromthesandwichgeneration (at) blogspot.com
Hang in there, everyone.
Posted by: Confessions from the Sandwich Generation | January 11, 2008 at 04:12 PM
While there are a growing number of resources available to families, there are some more reputable than others. Discerning them can be a challenge for the sandwich generation who already have only so much time. More and more home health agencies are presenting families with problems that nursing homes and other care provider environments have faced for a decade: staffing, background checks, standard of care, dignity, insurance, LTC costs, wages, benefits and much more. As the lady stated in her comment also too are the costs associated with home care and community care. Our parents a) never expected to live this long b) don't want to be a burden to us c) want to live independently as long as possible thereby experiencing freedom of choice and d) didn't have the financial resources that we may be afforded often because of high levels of education which they provided us. The boomer generation has many ethical and value issues to confront in the emotional decision making associated with caring for an aging parent while also tending to their own needs. Because this generation also became parents later, our children are younger and require more of our time and energy. BALANCE is the key and finding reputable, professional resources to help is vital. Long-Term Care Insurance can help the boomers with their own worry-free options down the road giving them more time to focus on today with their immediate family needs. In addition, more time is afforded those who plan ahead rather than wait for the crisis and react. Understanding Medicare (www.medicare.gov) and Medicaid is essential as are Care Plans with the aid of someone trusted and in-the-know. You local Area Office on Aging www.areaofficeonaging.com can provide time tested resources as well as free resources based on your income level. Starting there is always your best option. (www.eldercarelink.com) and (www.aplaceformom.com) are helpful nationwide sites. However the burden of discerning quality care will always fall back on the boomer advocating their parent's well being regardless of where they reside. Today's society is ever changing and we must help our parents adapt to those changes just as we have had to adjust our lives to keep up with our own children.
Posted by: Joyce | June 03, 2008 at 10:23 PM