I am currently working for a family with two children 8 mos and 21 mos. Everything has been good except now the family is expecting me to go on day trips with the father to their beach house once a week. I feel completely uncomfortable going and think it is unfair for him to expect me to go without asking. It was never discussed in our interview nor in the contract. Would it be wrong for me to decline to go? And how should I address the issue? Also he would be driving me and my hours would not change.
Every job has an uncomfortable moment at some time. Some are worse than others. This is yours. If it is not written in your contract, it is time to sit them down and figure out a happy amendment to your contract for trips to the beach house, especially for the extended hours (if there are any).
Personally, I would take it as a great perk, a day at the beach. A break from the day-to-day grind and routine. Can you take your own car?
Unless being with the dad makes you uncomfortable for other reasons? If so, avoid these outings. You might even want to consider moving on from the family.
I think that would be totally awkward! I also wouldn't want there to be ANY confusion with the mom. I mean, I wouldn't be too happy with my nanny OR husband if that happened; I wouldn't care if she offered to go or if she was obligated to do so, she went and that's all that matters. If you could take the kids yourself, that would be another story; i'd jump on that opportunity if the money was right!
Posted by: Melissa | August 02, 2011 at 09:47 PM
It is unfair for the nanny to go alone with the husband .
I would be expecting a pass any minute .
Don't go
Posted by: Florence Reynolds | September 21, 2011 at 04:49 PM
I'm sorry, but I wouldn't go. That's too awkward. I wouldn't do that. ...The wife is actually okay with that?
Posted by: Liza | May 02, 2012 at 03:36 AM
Depends on the family, the dad and the mom, but mostly depends on you and your work ethics and morals. I know every situation is different but I was once in that same spot. I did go though... With the first family I worked with, mom was super happy and grateful for having time off, and I was so glad to be such big help...later on, different country different family and same scenario....similar trip, I did go....and I regret having done so.
Posted by: MC | July 13, 2012 at 06:27 PM
I'll be honest, I don't see the big deal. I think that if you are THAT uncomfortable with being around the dad, essentially your boss, then maybe you need to consider a new family. As their nanny, you should feel like part of their family and being around the parents shouldn't be an uncomfortable thing. For the person who said the dad would make a pass, if you really think that, why would you ever work for a person who would do something like that?! As long as he's professional and it's an extra set of hands at the beach, go and have fun. Wear a cover up if you're uncomfortable about being in a bathing suit in front of him.
Posted by: T | August 18, 2012 at 01:14 AM