I have a great nanny for our year and a half year old son. I’m expecting and I plan to give her an increase once the baby arrives. How should I handle the time while I’m on maternity leave? I’ll be home for three months so we would share the work.

I'd say that if you have a great nanny, and you want her to stay with your family after the new baby, you should keep her pay stable while you're on maternity leave -- and give her the bonus once you go back to work.

As you know, the new baby will not be easy, and her being there to take care of  your older child will allow you to get your rest, bond with the new baby, and also bond one-on-one with your toddler (while she watches the baby for an hour or so). This will get you to really make the most of your maternity leave and make sure everyone is adjusting well to the change. 

But if you're considering limiting her pay while you're home, you would be hurting her overall depended-on income, and might force her to look for a new job.

Good luck -- and Congratulations!

What are some questions I can ask the potential clients who are considering me to be their nanny?

      There are so many questions you can ask a potential family, but there are certain ones that I feel are a must.

• Do you use a nanny contract?
• What household duties are expected of me? 
• What are my paid vacation days?
• Do I get sick days?
• How do you like to communicate with the nanny throughout the day? Email? Text? Phone calls? Photos?
• What is the household's views on discipline?
• Views on TV and electronics in general?
• Will I be using your car or mine? Will you be including a mileage fee?
• Are there pet care responsibilities?
• What kind of cooking is involved?

A well thought out list to take with you or have in front of you during a phone interview is a must, that way nothing gets overlooked. I usually make several copies just to have on hand for each family I interview with. It really helps when you get down to making a final choice.

Sometimes my best questions come out of just having a conversation with a potential family. Go with the flow and see where it leads. 

I am currently working for a family with two children 8 mos and 21 mos. Everything has been good except now the family is expecting me to go on day trips with the father to their beach house once a week. I feel completely uncomfortable going and think it is unfair for him to expect me to go without asking. It was never discussed in our interview nor in the contract. Would it be wrong for me to decline to go? And how should I address the issue? Also he would be driving me and my hours would not change.

Every job has an uncomfortable moment at some time. Some are worse than others. This is yours. If it is not written in your contract, it is time to sit them down and figure out a happy amendment to your contract for trips to the beach house, especially for the extended hours (if there are any).

Personally, I would take it as a great perk, a day at the beach. A break from the day-to-day grind and routine.  Can you take your own car?

Unless being with the dad makes you uncomfortable for other reasons? If so, avoid these outings. You might even want to consider moving on from the family.

We are looking at hiring a nanny for part time (3 days a week). Should we have a contract, if so how do we go about doing that. What about taxes?

A contract is a great way to make sure everyone involved is on the same page at all times. It's a great reference to talk about vacation days, car and house rules, cleaning responsibilities and general expectations on what you want your nanny to do when she's with your kids. It's also a great reference for the nanny, to just have things ironed out -- on paper -- from the get-go. Part-time or full-time, I recommend having a nanny contract in place.

All things that should be covered in a contract so there are no questions. We provide a list of topics in How to Write a Nanny Contract. Definitely check out the sample contracts for part-time nannies in this article too.

As far as taxes are concerned, here is what you need to know about nanny taxes and nanny tax forms and proceedures.

You should also check out the IRS website that focuses on nannies and other household employees.

 It's tricky to get started, but will feel very worthwhile!

I care for a child who is nearly 17 months old. Since he turned a year old he wakes up and cries when I put him down in his crib to nap after rocking him. How long should I wait to pick him up? Any advice on napping will be appreciated!  Thank you.

Naps are a tricky thing. First, talk it over with your employers, they may have a system they use at night that can be very helpful for you during the day. That will also help with consistency in what they do at night. If that is not a concern, I would probably wait ten minutes at most. Usually in that time most children will go back to sleep, they are already tired to begin with and just being fussy.

Naps at that age are usually starting to become fewer and fewer anyway. It could even be time to cut one out. It really depends on the child and what the parents want.

I would like some birthday gift ideas for our live-in nanny who is just awesome. I also want to give her a going away gift when she ends her term in 2 months. Any suggestions?

I would like some birthday gift ideas for our live-in nanny who is just awesome. I also want to give her a going away gift when she ends her term in 2 months. Any suggestions?

You can go many ways with this. I still have some of my favorite gifts from families I’ve worked for. Most of them were very sweet and simple and from the kiddies.

For her birthday, find something that she is very interested in: books, painting, knitting etc... and make her a basket full of goodies to go along with the theme.

Jewelry is always a great way to go. A nice clunky necklace or earrings from Anthropologie, J.Crew or a neighborhood boutique would be super sweet.  My favorite gift ever is a beautiful Tiffany bracelet with the smallest sweetest heart on it. I haven't taken it off in ten years. Of course, your gift doesn’t have to be from Tiffany, just make sure you keep her taste in mind or you’ll be wasting your money.

Other special treats might be a “go pamper yourself” gift. You could make arrangements for a massage or a manicure and pedicure at a local spa. Or, you could get buy a gift certificate to her favorite restaurant and tell her to go out with friends. Something that says, “you deserve this!”

As a departure gift, you’ll want to give her something to say thank you and leave her with a fond memory of caring for your children. One idea: take a mom and kids trip to a local pottery store and have the children make something with their handprints on it. It will show her you put a lot of thought into the gift and will make her feel very special.

You could also take pictures of her with the kids, and put them in a frame. You could have your kids list their favorite memories with her and write them in a letter.

If she will be traveling after she leaves your family, maybe a new piece of luggage, an e-reader, or a helpful travel accessory like sound proof headphones.

The ideas are limitless. It also depends on what you want to spend. Amex gift cards are always a safe option!

She is a very lucky girl to have a family that cares so much.

Do I need to hide my tattoos and facial piercings for a job interview?

I think it’s always a good idea to hide or take out any facial piercings before a nanny or babysitter interview. Even though you are not going into the business world, you want to be professional. Parents might be too distracted by your tattoos and piercings to listen to what a good childcare provider you are. So I typically suggest covering tattoos and piercings (or use clear if possible).

As for the rest of your overall look, I’d make sure your hair is neat. No need to get a pre-interview blowout (being too done-up could be too distracting too!), but show your potential employers that you put time into looking nice for this meeting. It sends a great message.

As for your outfit, be true to yourself, but professional at the same time. Your clothes should be neat and G-rated (nothing you would be going out to a bar or club in). I suggest wearing nice jeans or slacks with a flattering top (nothing with a deep v or scoop that could potentially show cleavage) and flats or low-heeled shoes. Remember, you are working to make a good first impression –- and appearance counts. You also might be getting on the floor to play with the kids –- or holding an infant, so wear something you’re comfortable in –- and comfortable getting messy!

Hello, I have been a nanny for 10+ years now and am curious about the protocol for when a family "lets you go." I was recently a live-in nanny and was awaken one morning out of the blue and told that it just wasn't working out and that I had an hour and a half to pack my things. My question is: Is there a certain amount of notice that a nanny should be given when she is told that she is being let go? Also, should a FT nanny be given a severance if she is let go and is this different for live-in vs live-out? Thanks!

I’m so sorry to hear that. I would love to say that there is always proper protocol to how to let a person go. Seems to me that there is ALWAYS a bad apple in the bunch somewhere along the way, I have found two in my 23 years of nannying.

Unless something happened, such as the child being in danger, I have always been told that at least two weeks notice is the right thing to do. I have also always been told to never expect it as a nanny. This is one reason why it’s helpful to have a nanny contract, so you can have the “letting-go” scenario outlined.

I have not known many to get severance pay and the few I do know were with the family for 10 plus years. If it’s given, it’s usually one-week’s pay for each year of service. The unfortunate part of being a nanny is that there aren’t many laws or true rules to protect us from moments like this. We must get up brush ourselves off and start the whole process again. Good luck!

Hi. This is my first time having to have a babysitter outside of our family. I have an interview set up but I am not sure what kind of questions to ask. Can you give me a couple of examples to start with?

Hi there. I'd say, always start with these basics:

1. What experience have you had with (insert your child's age) this age group of children? It is a good way to get a vibe for how comfortable they are.

2. Something about their creativity and playfulness. One of my personal favorites: What will you do with my child on a rainy day?

3. Ask them to tell you a little about themselves, where they grew up, how they grew up and how they ended up here with you on this interview. A life story tells a lot about a person...plus helps you both feel more comfortable. You should probably share a bit about your family too. 

After that, it is really about what you need and want from this person: hours, salary, responsibilities etc... Care.com has a list of these Babysitter Interview Questions in their Babysitter Guide. Good luck!

I am a part time nanny (15-20 hrs/wk). But for the summer, I am going to be working pretty much full time for the same family. In the past, other families have kept my hourly rate throughout the summer, which seems fair. But this family hasn’t figured out a schedule yet and my boss approached me with the idea of a nanny share.  I’m fine with the idea as long as I am being compensated for the extra work and time.

Now she has approached me and asked if I would be interested in a monthly salary for the summer as opposed to the hourly rate. Do you think this is wise on my part? I work so little most of the year, this is my time to save up, pay off bills and I worry that I won't be compensated as I deserve.

This when negotiation skills come in handy. I think a monthly salary seems fair as long as you can still live on it, and it seems reasonable for the amount of hours you will spend caring for the kids -- and factors in the number of kids you’ll be looking after. You could always use our babysitter pay calculator to get a good reference for your hourly rate. Then turn that figure into a weekly or monthly salary goal. From there, you can figure out a range you’d feel comfortable earning and hope this family (or the families involved in the share) can help you get there.

Once you have your numbers in mind, sit down and hear what they have to offer and go from there. If it is a do able salary for you, I would take it.

And here’s an article on expectations of summer care providers –- and why it can cost parents more money to keep kids entertained.