By Josey Miller

Yes, I know it's a publicity stunt. But check out this People.com photo of pregnant Snooki (of Jersey Shore fame) practicing her motherhood skills... on a baby doll.

[Snooki and Jenni "JWoww" Farley] purchased strollers for their practice infants and later went to a children's clothing store to buy outfits.

(Because parenting is all about the outfits, after all.)

She looks ridiculous, I realize. And laugh all you like. But is the concept really that ridiculous?

Everyone at my junior high school was required to do The Egg Project. Sound familiar? We each took a raw egg and punctured a hole in the ends just big enough for emptying out the white and yolk and rinsing the inside with water so it wouldn't get too smelly. That very fragile, hollowed-out egg became our "baby" for a week, and we carried it with us from the time we woke up, from class to class, until we went to sleep each night. It didn't require feeding, diapering, or bathing, and it didn't wake up for 3am feedings—but it was eye-opening for us sheltered suburban 13-year-olds, especially my friends without younger siblings or cousins. I remember waking up mid-week and seeing my egg baby on my nightstand and thinking, "Oh wow, you're still here!"

Even now, as a real-life mom, I can relate to that feeling sometimes.

Did your school do anything like that? (Apparently Snooki's didn't!) What experiences made you feel better-prepared for parenthood?

By Josey Miller

Now this is the kind of parenting headline I like! (Well, sorta.) It reads: "Research Shows 50 Years of Motherhood Manuals Set Standards Too High for New Moms." According to the study—conducted in England, but focusing on six childcare experts, including American pediatrician Dr. Spock—no matter which books you've read, no matter when in the past fifty years it was published or what advice it dispensed, chances are... it set you up to fail—or at least to feel like a failure.

[Angela Davis, from the Department of History at the University of Warwick, who surveyed more than 100 women in regards to their experiences as mothers] found although the advice from these experts changed over the decades, the one thing that didn't change was the way it was delivered. Whatever the message for mothers, it was given as an order with a threat of dire consequences if mother or child failed to behave as expected.

Is that what nervous-enough-as-it-is new mothers need, really?

At the same time, you know what that tells me? It tells me we're probably beating ourselves up when the truth is, we should be giving ourselves a little more credit. Maybe it's time we start.

In a restaurant a few months ago, I was rocking my baby's stroller, and a woman approached me. Just loud enough for me and my husband to hear she whispered, "You're a really great mommy." I thanked her and smiled, but as soon as she walked away, I turned to Jeff: "Do you think she was being sarcastic?"

Perhaps that's no coincidence since, when new mothers like me look for guidance from so-called experts, they often present it to us in a way that feels like criticism—like we've already done something wrong.

Where are the books saying "EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY" or "YOU'RE DOING A FANTASTIC JOB"?

Hey, wait a second... Any publishers out there?

By Josey Miller

"Watch this if you can stomach it," Katie wrote. She was talking about this video:

Around 14 seconds into the video, as Lena Fokina, the "Baby Yoga Woman," whipped an infant over her head, twisting the child's arms in a way that compelled me to rub my elbows as if they hurt, I wanted it to stop or, better yet, to never have started. But, in order to educate myself before writing this blog post, I kept watching.

For 25 more sickening seconds. At that point, I couldn't take it anymore.

I could clearly hear the baby wailing. If he could speak he would have been yelling, "Why are you doing this to me?" I wanted to jump through my computer screen to pry the baby's little hands out of Fokina's evil grip and cradle him safely in my arms. Shush the baby. Tell the baby that not all adults are like that; most of us are loving and kind and would never physically hurt an innocent child for any reason, much less for the sake of marketing a horriblemonstrous business idea.

Why are the people in the background smiling as they watch? Why is the camera operator filming? Where is the Russian equivalent of Social Services?

By Josey Miller

When asked if motherhood makes them feel isolated, 87 percent of the 1,000+ Australian mothers surveyed by Galaxy Research said yes. Yes, you read that right: 87 percent!

At first glance, that seems like a shockingly high number. But then I found myself wondering, Who are the women in the 13 percent who said no?

Whether you work or stay home, no matter how many fellow mothers you meet, how supportive your husband and family may be, why does it so often feel like you're the first person to experience this drastic life change?

If so many of us feel the same isolation, then why doesn't "strength in numbers" apply?

My friend just moved from New York City to a New Jersey suburb. She's one of the most social people I know; it's been ten days, and she and her baby have already attended two classes. Her neighbors are dropping off pies and cheesecakes. She still commutes to an office two days a week. But she, as expected, still feels lonely. Is there more she should be doing? Adding a move to new motherhood may boost the isolation to an extreme. But maybe the feeling of isolation will eventually just subside, for her and the rest of us.

Will it?

Does 87 percent sound high to you?

By Josey Miller

A link arrived in my inbox recently: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons. I typically delete forwards, but when it arrived a second time from another fellow new-mama friend, I caved. "Teach him the words for how he feels," it read. "Be a cheerleader for his life," it went on. "Teach him how to do laundry." "Read to him and read with him." "Encourage him to dance." Lovely sentiments, all of them. But wouldn't they all apply to mothers of girls, as well? (And, frankly, on a related note, isn't it a bit old-fashioned to imply that a parent would teach a daughter how to do laundry and not a son?)

I IM-ed my friend Angela, who has one boy and one girl, and expressed my confusion.

"It is really different," she told me. "It just is."

Today I stumbled on a Wall Street Journal column that goes into more depth, focusing on the relationship between mother and children of each gender. The writer discusses how it's encouraged for a mother and daughter to be close, but if a mother and son share inside jokes and emotional conversations as he grows up, something might be... a little off. Yet, she writes:

A study of more than 400 middle school boys revealed that sons who were close to their mothers were less likely to define masculinity as being physically tough, stoic and self-reliant. They not only remained more emotionally open, forming stronger friendships, but they also were less depressed and anxious than their more macho classmates. And they were getting better grades.

Are you the mother of a son and a daughter? How has it been different for you? Were any of those differences due to your conscious parenting decisions?

By Josey Miller

The other day, while sitting at a picnic table in a new local bakery and typing away at my computer, I recognized a fellow customer. She's a neighbor of mine; she lives a few floors above me and has an adorable Papillon dog named Basie.

"You're a writer?" she asked me eagerly.

I nodded and smiled.

Several hours later in our building lobby, I saw her again. I told her I was on my way to relieve our babysitter.

"Have you been writing all this time?" she asked.

I said yes, and she seemed proud. She went on to tell me that she's a teacher and spent some time years ago teaching a writing class. One semester, she told me, she saw tremendous potential in one particular student, a woman, and took her out for lunch after final exams. She asked the student where she saw herself in ten years.

"In ten years," the student replied, "I hope to be a mother."

My neighbor told me she was extremely disappointed with that response—not because the student didn't say she hoped to be writing, but because it seemed that the student felt she had to make a choice: Mother or writer. Not both.

Clearly we've made great strides since then: In fact, according to a new Care.com survey of 1,000 working mothers in the U.S., 8 out of 10 enjoy being a working parent, 64 percent don’t feel work interferes with good parenting, and 58 percent aspire to move higher in their careers.

Moms aren't content with feeling "mommy tracked" in the office. In fact, nearly six out of ten working moms (58%) aspire to move higher in the professional ranks. And promotion feels possible. Nearly eight in 10 (78%) do not feel that they have been passed over for a promotion because of a perceived lack of commitment to work.

Great news. But we're not entirely "there" yet, either:

Increasingly, as more women enter (or re-enter) the workplace, and professional aspirations continue, businesses need to catch up to the new normal of the motherhood workforce. Nearly three out of four companies (73%) where working moms are employed do not offer any child care benefits. Less than 20 percent (18%) offer flex-spending accounts; 6% offer on-site child care; 5% offer emergency back-up care; and, 4% subsidize child care.

Without those benefits, four out of ten working moms missed work during the last year because of a childcare issue, according to the survey. Not all employees have to worry about such working-mother obstacles, of course. So are working mothers operating in offices—and competing for promotions—on a level playing field? They may not want to be "mommy tracked," but are many landing there by default?

Then again, with respect to my neighbor's student: Maybe, even with the progress made so far, even with the advancements that are still necessary, she still would have seen herself as a mother and not a writer.

But then that would've been a real choice.

By Josey Miller

It's the next Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Meet Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman, the newest parenting book that has mamas chattering.

In a recent Today Show appearance, Druckerman explains, "It's a balance between being very strict about a few key things [i.e. being polite, being patient], but also giving kids lots of freedom and respect and trusting them. So, for example, at bedtime, lots of French parents told me they tell their kids, 'You must stay in your room, but inside your room, you can do whatever you want.' And my kids responded really well to this. They don't focus on the restriction; they focus on the freedom."

Would taking that sort of approach with your children, with bedtime and beyond, help them to grow into creative, independent thinkers? Would they have the foresight to cut themselves off when they were getting carried away (and, if not, would it teach them about consequences)? Are we enforcing rules for the sake of rules?

Or are we just driving ourselves crazy by questioning our instincts more than we should?

"Motherhood itself is a whole different experience in France," summarizes the Amazon book description. "There's no role model, as there is in America, for the harried new mom with no life of her own. French mothers assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children and that there's no need to feel guilty about this. They have an easy, calm authority with their kids that Druckerman can only envy."

Envy?

Maybe French mothers don't have more common sense or better parenting skills. Just more confidence.

By Josey Miller

I may have bitten off more than I can chew here—and I don't mean peanuts (as if they'll give us peanuts anyway). I'm taking my seven-and-a-half-month-old baby on an overnight flight... by myself. Am I crazy? Maybe. But it was a non-refundable decision, so here goes nothing! I requested tips from my Facebook friends, the best being: "Bring enough cash to buy drinks for the people sitting next to you, as well as in the rows in front of you and behind you." Here are some other great ideas:

"Nursing (or a bottle) plus white noise usually makes them conk out when they are that little. As a total last resort you can also bring your baby carrier and bounce around with him in the back of the plane (again- white noise)."

"Have some things on hand that he's never played with before; the newness can keep him preoccupied."

"Pack light. See if you can put everything you are carrying on into a single backpack, rather than having a diaper bag, purse, carry-on, pump bag, etc. It's better to pay to check the suitcase than be short-handed."

"Bring some teething biscuits or snack puffs. They dissolve so it should be okay that he doesn't have any teeth."

And, of course...

"Tell people that most of the time he cries a lot and often gets sick. Then no matter what, he'll look like an angel in comparison to the expectations you've set!"

Will the flight attendants be willing to give me some assistance? Do you have any other "flying with baby" tips to add? I'll take all the help I can get!

By Josey Miller

By now, you've probably watched the beyond-adorable "Kristen Bell's Sloth Meltdown" video, from her appearance on Ellen. No? Oh, you're missing out! Watch it now:

So, why is everyone calling it cute instead of questioning her emotional instability? Because everyone can relate! If I were throwing myself a birthday party, and my husband arranged for Joni Mitchell to be a guest, you can bet my reaction would be just as teary (it's August 6th, Jeff, if you're reading this).

But, my own birthday aside, Kristen's excitement really reminded me of the best gift I've ever given: At age eight, with my allowance money, I purchased a Thundercats sword for my little brother's fourth birthday. (Remember Thundercats? Am I dating myself?) When my mom read him the card, which I'd signed from the cartoon series protagonist, Lion-o, his face lit up. I'll remember it always. Never has a child been more thrilled (and I do mean him and not me, though I'm sure it was close). It's why I take gift-giving so seriously: With every birthday gift I've given since, I've hoped to see even a hint of that same expression on the recipient's face.

What's the best gift you've ever given? Share the story below. (Maybe it will inspire someone else's gift-giving!)